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Remind Me Never to Buy Marijuana in Florida

Fat Boy Deputies found marijuana nestled in the stomach chub of a 450-pound Florida man known as “Fat Boy.”

The drug-running suspect and his driver were pulled over near Osteen on Friday for not wearing a seat belt.

The big passenger, Christopher Mitchell, 42, told the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office deputy he was too fat to wear a seatbelt, arrest records show.

Mitchell goes by “Biggie” as well, according to the Florida Department of Corrections’ website.

But the two men appeared nervous and the deputy called in a drug-sniffing dog that immediately picked up on cocaine in the front seat and traces of marijuana.

The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat.

Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock.

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First things first: how heavy is this guy’s head? I’m gonna say 150 pounds. Secondly, of course. Of course Florida drug dealers hide their drugs in their stomach fat. I understand this guy was 450 pounds and was nicknamed “fat boy”, but 23 grams of marijuana is a decent amount of weed. It’s not like he had a gram or two under there. That is an excessive amount of fat storage. It also makes me question a lot of things. Do other drug dealers do this? Am I smoking belly fat weed? Because if I am then I’m going to be really depressed. Not even angry; just extremely upset. Florida is slowly killing everything I enjoy, and I’m powerless to stop it. Also, work on your nickname game, Florida. You don’t nickname a fat guy “fat boy”. It’s poor taste.

– Ryan

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Mexico City Clowns Outraged That Man Dressed as a Clown Killed a Guy

(Source) “Leaders of clowns gathered for a convention  in Mexico City said Wednesday they are saddened that a killer disguised himself  as a clown to kill a drug lord last week, and insisted no true member of their  profession would have committed the crime.

Convicted drug trafficker Francisco Rafael  Arellano Felix was shot to death Friday in the Baja beach resort of Los Cabos by  a gunman wearing a clown costume, including a wig and a rubber nose.

The dead man was the eldest brother of  Mexico’s once-feared Arellano Felix clan.

Clown leader Tomas Morales, a 21-year veteran of  the trade who goes by the stage name ‘Payaso Llantom,’ said he was certain the  killer was not a professional clown. He said clowns in Mexico, especially in  outlying states, know each other and their costumes and makeup are  individualized and recognizable.

The people who do that, they’re not  clowns. I can swear on my mother’s grave it  wasn’t a clown,’ said  Morales, whose costume includes frizzy blue hair and a  tiny top hat. ‘We are not like that … we are nonviolent.”

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The nerve of some people. If you’re going to murder a guy, at least show some respect for the hard working clowns out there and dress as something else. Clowns are a nonviolent people. The only harm they do is creep people out. This criminal.is setting back clowns hundreds of years. All the work they’ve done to convince kids they’re not killers has been destroyed by one selfish guy. It seems like the killer put a lot of work into this murder. He couldn’t just walk up to a guy and shoot him. He had to go through hours of makeup. Probably took clown classss too. He may be a cold blooded killer, but you have to respect his dedication to the craft of murder.

– Ryan

Duke “The Dumpster” Droese Is Doing Well

(Source) At Centertown Elementary School in McMinnville, Tenn., Michael David Droese was a hulking figure, someone to look up to. The special education teacher holds the frame — 6 feet, 6 inches and 340 pounds — of a man with a famous past.

Indeed, a Google search for Droese will expose you to a life two decades ago spent in the wrestling ring, under the lights and in front of thousands — a life that seemed impressive to students and teachers both, Warren County Sheriff Jackie Matheny said.

But, at least for now, Droese is missing from the halls of Centertown. Matheny says Droese illegally sold pain medication to a police informant, and on Friday a grand jury indicted him on three counts of delivery of a controlled substance.

On July 1, according to the indictment, Droese sold oxycodone and buprenorphine. The next day, he again sold oxycodone. Droese was arrested Friday, Matheny said, but he left jail about two hours later after paying a $10,000 bond.

Until Droese’s case plays out, he will be suspended from his job at Centertown without pay, Director of Warren County Schools Bobby Cox said. Droese, 45, did not return a call seeking comment on Wednesday.

His mugshot shows a middle-aged man with an evaporating hairline. But 20 years ago, back in the ’90s, Droese wore his brown hair down to his shoulders. He was known as Duke “The Dumpster” Droese back then, a rough-around-the-edge trashman who hailed from “the garbage heaps of Mt. Trashmore, Fla.”

Droese spent much of his career wrestling in lesser-known, independent organizations, but from 1994-96 he was a member of the World Wrestling Federation. The Dumpster fought some of the greats: Bam Bam Bigelow, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

His time with the biggest wrestling promotion in the world was brief. According to the company, Droese and President Vince McMahon agreed to part ways because life on the road wore The Dumpster down too much.

But many of his matches still are available online. Matheny, who teaches the Drug Awareness Resistance Education program at Centertown, said everyone knew about Droese’s past life, and everyone was impressed.

“He used to be a wrestler, a very good wrestler,” the sheriff said. “He was in the WWE, and you can look him up on the Internet and watch all his matches. He wrestled with the best.”

When he learned a couple of months ago that Droese was suspected of selling pain pills, Matheny said he was surprised. He said Droese carried a good reputation: “Everybody has a lot of good things to say about him.”

Not the greatest life story. I’d give anything in this world to become a professional wrestler, but I can’t say I’d be thrilled to play a garbage man. Then you go on to become a special ed teacher who sells drugs. To be honest, the most heartbreaking part of this story is that his real name isn’t Duke Droese. Playing a garbage man on national TV that turns into a drug peddling special education teacher is obviously a sucky life, but a cool name could make up for that. Michael Droese is not a cool name. If I’m his attorney I suggest he change his real name to Duke, and let the chips fall where they may, which is probably in jail.

– Ryan

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