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If I Told You A Man Was Banned From Ordering Pizzas, What State Would You Guess He’s From

FLORIDAWhat would you have to do for a judge to issue a ban on you ever ordering pizza? Randy Riddle of Sebastian was charged with four counts of harassing phone calls, two counts of first-degree petty theft and one count of second-degree petty theft, after he allegedly making multiple harassing calls to two pizza restaurants. A police investigation states Riddle made orders and refused to pay for them, directed delivery people to fake or vacant addresses, and made calls to the businesses just to tell them their pizza was gross. Over a three week period, Riddle used five different phone numbers, false names and even refusing to give his name at times. He also made repeated calls to Sebastian police, Sebastian City Hall and the state Department of Health to complain about the restaurants. Riddle made bail with the strict instruction from an Indian River County judge to not call the businesses for delivery. This isn’t the first time Riddle has been accused of making harassing phone calls, he was convicted for the same crime 8 years ago when he lived in Vero Beach, police said.

Cooking Dog

The dog chef GIF doesn’t have anything to do with the article, but I stumbled upon it and I had to use it. I’m not a monster. Anyway, Florida – you sweet, sweet bitch. I heard this story on the radio this morning and didn’t hear the part about where the guy was from, but I should’ve known it was Florida. Only someone from Florida would continually harass a pizza joint, of all places, until the police were forced to intervene and not only arrest him, but ban him from ordering pizzas. I’m not going to lie, that sentence might be worse than death. I don’t order pizzas all the time, but knowing you have that option in your back pocket can be a life saver sometimes. Taking that away from me is basically taking away one of my constitutional rights and turning me into a savage. The best (?) part is that this isn’t the first time he’s done this. He is a habitual pizza place harasser. I don’t know how you land on that as an obsession, but I think we should keep an eye on this guy. If he can’t harass pizza parlors, there’s no telling what he’ll end up doing with all that spare time.


David Bastar Got Arrested Because He Loved Delivering Baked Goods And That’s a Damn Shame

YeastA man stole a New York City bread truck and began delivering loaves of savory baked goods to random businesses, the bakery’s owner said Thursday.

David Bastar hopped into the Grimaldi’s Home of Bread truck on Manhattan’s Upper East Side early Monday while the real driver was making a delivery at a pizzeria, according to police.

Reportedly wearing only his underwear, Bastar then allegedly began dropping off baguettes, whole-wheat rolls and sourdough bread — but not to the bakery’s customers, said Joe Grimaldi, the owner of the baker in the Ridgewood neighborhood of Queens.

“The bread was left somewhere. Where I don’t know,” he said. “He dropped a lot of bread.”

Grimaldi said about $5,000 in bread was taken. The bakery later was able to accommodate all its customers.

“It’s a bizarre incident but nothing happened to the truck. No one was hurt. There was no damage. I got my truck back,” said Grimaldi.

Bastar, of Nanuet, was arrested later at LaGuardia Airport, where police say he wound up after tailgating a driver for several miles.

The driver became concerned about being followed and called police, said Erica Dumas, a spokeswoman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which operates the airport.

Police determined that the truck had been stolen that morning.

Bastar, who was taken to a hospital for evaluation, was charged with criminal possession of stolen goods and driving without a license.

Grimaldi said a shuttle bus driver who witnessed the arrest called the bakery and said, “If you need a driver, I’ll work for you.”


Undapants! I don’t like this one bit. David Bastar obviously has a passion. Is delivering baked goods to unsuspecting customers in your underwear a weird passion? Yes, but I don’t think it’s right to deny this man his destiny. No one was hurt, there was no damage to the truck; David Bastar saw an opportunity and took it. He has probably been dreaming of this day since he was a small child. If we’re going to blame anyone here, it should be the driver. You can’t just leave your truck unattended, especially when passionate men like David Bastar are roaming the streets searching for opportunities. This feels like a win-win situation to me: David Bastar got to live out his fantasy and a lot of people got free baked goods from a guy in his underwear. The more David Bastar’s in this world, the better.

– Ryan

Somebody Give This Pizza Delivery Guy a Raise

If third story pizza throwing ever becomes an Olympic sport, we know where to look for a team captain. Love the dedication. Love the effort.

– Ryan

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