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Happy Groundhog Day

Apparently Phil did not see his shadow, which means the end of winter is near. Let’s celebrate by reliving one of the greatest moments in Groundhog Day history. Jimmy, take it away!

Drinking with Class – Memorial Day Special

Technical difficulties is delaying Twitter News Weekly until early next week, so in lieu of that, we’ve got a very special treat for you. Before we became Average Nobodies, we had a weekly web series called Drinking with Class, and the episode below was our Memorial Day Special. Enjoy the video, and have a great weekend everybody.

– The Average Nobodies

WWE’s Mr. T “Happy Mother’s Day Message” Was Mildly Offensive

So Mr. T went on and on about his mother during his Hall of Fame induction speech last month, so what does WWE do? They turn it into a Mother’s Day remix that will haunt my dreams forever. This seemed highly unnecessary, especially since Mother’s Day isn’t that big of a holiday. I can’t imagine someone who takes themself as seriously as Mr. T approved this video, which actually makes it a little better, but its still too awful for my tastes. How about a 5 second “Happy Mother’s Day from the WWE’ graphic next year, WWE. I think that’ll get the point across without subjecting anyone to this horrible video.

– Ryan

Adam Silver Missed The Boat By Not Having Donald Sterling Attend Michael Scott’s Diversity Day Training

A lifetime ban and a $2.5M fine might be OK with some people but not for me. Donald Sterling might not own an NBA team anymore but we’re ignoring the root of the problem: he’s an admitted, proud racist. Fining him pocket change and banning him from the sport in which 80% of the players are people he hates probably isn’t going to change his views, but sending him to Diversity Day training with Michael Scott will. It’s the ultimate cure all for racists of all kinds. I really hope Adam Silver adds a diversity day provision into this ruling. Donald Sterling needs it. America needs it. I need it.

– Ryan

2014 Boston Red Sox Season Begins in T-Minus 4 Hours

That video still gives me chills and if it doesn’t pump you up for Opening Day then you got no pulse, meng. The defending champs are in Baltimore to kick off the 2014 campaign and take the baby steps towards a repeat, something that no Red Sox team has ever accomplished. What a difference a year makes: last year at this time everyone had already written off the 2013 Red Sox as basement dwellers with an overmatched manager. Now the Red Sox are the defending champs with pretty much the same group of  core guys as last year; add in some key pickups like Pierzynski and Mujica, plus the healthy return of Andrew Miller and the all star potential of Xander Bogaerts, and you have one hell of a team. The only thing that can derail this conquest is injuries, and you can never predict those. With every other contender in the AL East seemingly getting better, its going to take a consistent effort for the Sox to be a playoff contender come October. For now, I’m just happy warmer weather is coming our way, and the Boys of Summer are back together. LET’S GO SOX!

– Ryan

Grady Sizemore Will Be the Starting Center Fielder for the Sox on Opening Day


All aboard the Grady Sizemore train. Choo Choo! If Sizemore stays healthy he’ll be the perfect fit for the Sox, which I believe is something the Yankees are saying about their center fielder except we didn’t pay Sizemore $200 mill. Obviously he’s not going to be Jacoby, but the beautiful thing is, he doesn’t have to be. He’s great defensively, he has a better arm than Jacoby, and as long as he can stay in the .270 range at the plate we’ll be golden. He doesn’t need to hit leadoff. He doesn’t need to steal 70 bases. We’re not looking for a franchise center fielder, we’re looking for a holding pattern until Jackie Bradley is ready to roll. I think Sizemore fits that and then some. 3 days till baseball baby!

– Ryan

P.S. If this post jinxes him I will set myself on fire.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day From Our Favorite Person in the World – Rob Ford

When I woke up this morning I knew there was going to be a video of Rob Ford. I would’ve bet my entire life on it. Drinking holiday’s are Rob Ford’s specialty. And here it is. Want to know the genius of Rob Ford? One of the first videos leaked of him, which really put him on the crazy train map, was of him smoking crack. Now every other video, whether he’s steamrolling old ladies or sweating up a storm after a night of drinking, seem tame. I watched this video and thought nothing of it. Just a guy on the town getting his drink on for St. Paddy’s Day. I honestly would have been upset if I knew Rob Ford didn’t celebrate this holy day like only Rob Ford can: a lot of alcohol, maybe a little crack, and literally tons of fun. Keep doing you, Bobby.

– Ryan

Devin Brugman’s Instagram Was a Flurry of Emotion Last Night


What a flurry of emotion. Devin Brugman’s instagram is the ideal place to feed creeps and weirdo. Granted I follow her so I’m not sure what that says about me. This is also a good time to point out that people who comment “first like” on instagram are the worst people in the world. Do you want a a medal or a prize? Go out and experience some human interaction. And Devin Brugmam, I’ll be in Austin, Texas until Wednesday if you finally come to your senses and want to hang out.

– Ryan

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