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If You Want to Marry Brooke Hogan You Have to Put Up with the Insanity That is Hulk Hogan

BrotherHulk Hogan isn’t messing around these days, even when it comes to his daughter’s love life.

Hogan, a 12-time World Champion wrestling icon, apparently was responsible for the breakup between his daughter, Brooke, and former Dallas Cowboys center Phil Costa.

Costa and Brooke split up in November after getting engaged in June, as the WWE legend’s daughter said she wanted to focus on her music career.

As Hulk Hogan told 105.3 The Fan, though, music might have not been the real reason for the breakup.

“I love the Dallas Cowboys, been a fan forever,” Hogan said. “But my daughter was engaged to one of those guys and he didn’t walk the walk and talk the talk. I put a bullet in that really quick. There was no way my daughter was going to marry somebody that I don’t like, that got me mad or has got in my face.”

This begs the question: who would dare get in Hulk Hogan’s face?

“There was a little run in with only one of the Cowboys,” Hogan said. “But you know what, he knew better than to step up, ’cause he would have gotten slammed just like Andre the Giant.”

A lot of the old time wrestlers have trouble separating the character they played on screen from their actual self because back before the internet wrestling was still sort of real. Well no one is more delusional when it comes to distinguishing between the man and the character more than Hulk Hogan. He’s been in the news a lot lately now that’s he’s back with WWE and was apart of WrestleMania 30, and I swear to Bill Paxton he ends every interview with threatening to body slam somebody. That’s not the man Terry Bollea talking. You don’t body slam people in real life. It’s a very illogical fighting technique. But Hulk Hogan? He’ll body slam your ass in a millisecond. The best part is that Hogan doesn’t even care if it makes sense. You want to date his daughter? Well don’t get in Hogan’s face or else, you guessed it, he’s going to body slam you. Just pick you up off the ground and slam you to the ground. He is so delightfully insane it’s a joy to follow. Never  change, Hulkster.

– Ryan

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Memo to Self: Never Date Jamie Foxx’s Daughter

Electro – “Jamie Foxx has an electrifying new role as one of the villains in the latest “Spider-man” installment as the very creepy Electro. The 46 year-old Oscar winner, who attended the New York premiere with his four year-old daughter Annalise, spoke to FOX411 about playing such a delicious baddie, raising two daughters and his extraordinary career.

FOX411: You have a 20-year-old daughter. How do you deal with boyfriends?

Foxx: You have to be vigilant in the fact that if there’s any guy that wants to occupy your daughter’s time you have to make sure that if he knows he does anything wrong, I’m going to cut his head off, and be literal in that sense. The only reason you do that is because if people feel there’s no consequence they will act out. You love your kids. You protect them as much as you can, and you tell them as much as you can that guys are terrible, guys are the worst and they’re going to tell you that you’re absolutely wrong. “He loves me and you don’t know what you’re talking about. You make me sick!” We’ve had all those conversations.”

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Jamie Foxx laying down the law! This is kind of frightening because he seems to be 100% serious. I’ll be the first to say that his daughter is smoking, but is being with her worth getting your head cut off? I say no. I do think getting with Jamie Foxx’s daughter is worth dying for. Reason number one would have to be because there are a lot of hot girls in this world. Most of those hot girls would not carry with them the heavy weight of being beheaded. Reason number two would be because you’d die. If Jamie Foxx cut your head off you would die. I don’t think I have to list any more reasons. Corrine, you’re beautiful, but I need my head for various things. Maybe next time.

– Ryan

Girl Meets World, I Will See You on June 27th

This show has big shoes to fill, but I think it is up for the challenge.

-Matt

PS- Don’t ruin good childhood memories…

No pressure

Adrian Peterson’s Daughter is a Complete Bitch

After the Vikings lost to the Browns at the hands of BRIAN HOYER this is what AP’s daughter had to say.

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Come on, rub in a loss much? I’m surprised she didn’t start berating him about the “case of the fumbles” he developed this season.

-MattyV

At This Point I Should Have Suspected A Man In Florida Would Beat His Kid, for 40 minutes, to the Beat of “Blurred Lines”

A Florida man is facing charges of felony child abuse after being accused of hitting his daughter for 40 minutes “to the beat” of Robin Thicke’s summer hit “Blurred Lines.”

An Escambia County Sheriff’s report said that a complaint was filed against 40-year-old Steven Grady Fillingim for child abuse after he beat his daughter for being “lazy” and skipping school.

When investigators spoke to the girl on Sunday, she told them that her father hit her on the face with his belt and with his hands because she had not vacuumed bugs that were in the family’s home on Saturday. As part of her punishment, she was made to hold a 20 pound weight in front of her body and then hold an 8 pound weight behind her.

She was also forced to shovel dirt for a period of 90 minutes.

On Thursday, the girl said that her father acted normal when she came home even though she had gotten in trouble for skipping school that day. But at around 9 p.m., he began to lash her with a switch.

She told investigators that he hit her “for approximately 40 minutes using the switch like a whip,” the police report said. “As he was striking [the girl], S/Steven Fillingim played the Robin Thicke song ‘Blurred Lines,’ striking her with the switch to the beat of the music.” -RawStory.com

Really Florida? Just when I thought you couldn’t produce anymore “winners” you give us Grady Fillingim. A complete scum bag of a human beings that beat his out daughter for 40 minutes to the tune of Blurred Lines, by Robin Thick  (40 minutes approximately equates to playing it ten times). I love that song, such a jam, but honestly it doesn’t make me want to beat the crap out of kids. It just doesn’t. Now, when I listen to DMX I get a little crazy, sure, but never even close to wanting to hurt an innocent kid. Grady, I really hope you find some guys in prison to return the favor. But instead of “Blurred Lines” ten times, I hope they go with “Stairway to Heaven” ten times. That’s a much longer song.

-MattyV

Ouu Zee Double Team

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I like to consider myself a connoisseur, a connoisseur of the adult video variety, if you will.  This story is so hot on the webternet right now, it’s melting my screen (not at work).  It’s about these two broads, WHO HAPPEN TO BE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER, looking for a father son duo to star with them in their next scene.  Now, I’ve never laid my eyes on these two in action before, but from an amateur standpoint, they got some potential.  I mean they’re no Amia Miley or Lisa Ann, but they’ve got potential.

Regardless if they find their prince charmings or not, I, in quite a disturbing fashion, thought, “hm, I wonder if me and my old man threw out hats into the ring here”.   Now, to give you some background, I’m close to 6′ tall, 185 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal, my dad is about 5′-9′, 300 lbs of corned beef and crooked teeth.  I’ve thought I may be a product of a mail man, but he and I aren’t, how you say, the same color.  But that’s neither here nor there.  If me and the white rhino got together with these two lovely ladies, there is no doubt in my mind we would put on a show that would make Scott Nails and Johnny Sins look a couple of chumps.  What we lack in size and endurance will be made up for ten fold with showmanship and charisma.

However, the big guy is spoken for and we come as a package (get it) deal.  I forgot to mention they go by the stage name of Sexxxton, pretty clever.  You can call us the Bern-Ohhhs.  Drink it in.

-Berno

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