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Cleveland Weatherman Mark Johnson Took The Cavs Game 4 Loss In Stride. JK He Brought A Weed-Whacker Live On Air

The Cleveland Cavaliers lost game four of the NBA Finals to the Golden State Warriors last night and Cleveland weatherman/insane person Mark Johnson had an understandable reaction. By understandable, I mean deranged. He brought out a weed whacker and cut a piece of paper, which I guess signifies the Warriors getting away with fouls? His next act was legitimately funny, as he advised viewers that JR Smith and Iman Shumpert hit four more shots combined than he had tonight, and then picked up a cinderblock which I’m assuming he thought was a brick. If this is his reaction to a game four loss, I’m kind of scared for the people of Cleveland if the Cavs lose this series.

– Ryan

The Iron Sheik Responds to Vince Young Getting Cut from the Browns, Michael Sam Getting Drafted

First, let me say that I am LOVING the Sheik’s new Twitter pic. Just absolutely screams “i’m a psycho, don’t fuck with me”. Secondly, I don’t know where Sheik is getting his facts but I highly doubt that is what Johnny Football said to Vince Young his first day in the NFL. I think Sheik is wrong, however, I would never tell him this because I am afraid he might hunt me down and put me in the camel clutch…actually, I might just delete this post.

Just when you think old Sheiky Baby is only out for blood in his tweets he goes and backs Michael Sam. Michael Sam, for those of you who don’t know and live under rocks, is the first openly gay NFL athlete.  Sheik approves, so that means you have to approve too, or else you end up like Marshall Henderson, next up on the Sheik’s hit list. Don’t be Marshall Henderson


A Homeless Man Told Browns Owner Jimmy Haslam to Draft Johnny Manziel So Of Course He Listened to Him

22th PickAfter an agonizing two-hour, 45-minute wait in the green room, Johnny Manziel is now a Cleveland Brown. And apparently he’s got a homeless guy to thank for his new gig.

Manziel’s fall through the ranks was one of the early stories of the draft, and once he was picked, ESPN cut to Sal Paolantonio in Cleveland with one heck of a strange story. According to Paolantonio, Browns owner Jimmy Haslam received guidance from an unlikely source.

“Here in Cleveland, everywhere I go, people know me,” Haslam told Paolantonio. “I was out to dinner recently. A homeless person was out on the street. He looked up at me and said, ‘Draft Manziel.'”

And that’s all it took, apparently, to convince Haslam that Browns fans wanted Manziel. Cleveland!


Suddenly the decision making skills of the Browns franchise over the years makes a lot more sense. I’m not saying homeless people aren’t great evaluators of talent, but I’d probably go a diffrent route if I owned a multi million dollar franchise. Maybe ex coaches or players? Or any of the scouts you pay to evaluate talent. The crazy part of this story is not the homeless guy telling Jimmy Haslam to draft Manziel. Johnny Football is the man, and I guarantee in a few years he’ll be a great quarterback. The crazy part of this story is that Haslam made it seem like a homeless guy convinced him to draft Manziel. Forget about the combine and the game footage; all Jim Haslam needs is the advice of a sage homeless man. All I can picture now is Jim Haslam scowering the streets of Cleveland on the eve of every draft night looking for that one man or woman who’s going to give him his picks. Only in Cleveland.

– Ryan

Cleveland’s List of Memorable Sports Moments is As Depressing As It Gets

Source – As the year winds down, it’s a good time to reflect. Like so many other years in Cleveland sports, 2013 was filled with memories – both good and bad from all the teams.

The Indians brought the most joy to fans. A new manager, roster and renewed sense of hope led to a season of walk-offs, fireworks, late-game magic and yes, even a playoff appearance.

Fans also hopped on the Cavs coaster for another ride. The team sent Kyrie Irving to the All Star game, they signed Andrew Bynum and won the lottery again! But used the top pick on Anthony Bennett, who looks befuddled every time he takes the court, and is in the midst of one of the worst starts for a No. 1 pick.

The Browns’ season was supposed to be different. With a new coach – who grew up rooting for them – leading the new regime, there was excitement around town. Things got off to a strong start. But it turned out to be just a typical year for the Browns, one with them finishing last in the division again.

Record-setting performances by Josh Gordon, a snapped losing streak against Baltimore and sparks provided by Brian Hoyer – the hometown quarterback who grew up idolizing Bernie Kosar – were mixed with FBI raids of Pilot Flying J, a quarterback carousel that has been spinning since 1999, double-digit losses, passes flipped underhand and the team’s shutdown cornerback getting burned in the closing seconds by Cecil Shorts and the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Starting on Friday, will be releasing, one-by-one, the most memorable Cleveland sports moments of 2013, and we would like your help compiling the list. The top moment will be revealed on New Year’s Eve.


This might be the most backhanded article ever written. “Yeah things were supposed to be different but we basically sucked in every major sport again”. I guess losing in a one game playoff is memorable? The only cool thing that happened this year in Cleveland was the emergence of Josh Gordon, and even that was bittersweet, because as soon as he can he’ll sign a big contract elsewhere. I feel for you, Cleveland. It can’t be easy having three teams be this bad for this long. Merry Christmas?

– Ryan

Browns Fans Post “QB Wanted” Ad on Craigslist

(Source) Hello, and thanks for reading.
Have you played pro football? College ball? High school? Pee-wee?
Have you played Madden before?
Do you sort of kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes keep reading. If no…well also keep reading! We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person.
The Cleveland Browns as you may have noticed are having problems scoring points on offense consistently. We are deciding that we actually want to win this year and that we have a real shot at it too. 3 wins in 6 games!? We were expecting maybe 1/3 of those wins for the whole year, but SOMEHOW we have a shot still. Here’s the thing…our defense is sick nasty, but we’ve got problems under center…well one problem. Brandon Weeden. If you’re sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter then please come apply! If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can’t, come anyway! We can teach you the basics….throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that’s WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16. Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You’re the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks!
Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.

This is kind of a new low even for Cleveland. Obviously this a joke but the fact that this entire description of what the Browns need at QB is true makes it sad. I also take partial responsibility for this situation. My fantasy players have what I like to call the “Ryan stink” on them. Guess who I picked up at 5 o’clock Thursday afternoon to be my starting quarterback that night? Brian Hoyer. 4 hours later he tore everything in his knee and the 40 year old college graduate Brandon Weeden came in. I think I owe it to the city of Cleveland to throw my hat in the ring for this job. I’ve never played football at any level but I’m a great defensive coordinator in Madden so it’s basically the same thing. I’d also never do this

You know where to find me Cleveland.

– Ryan

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