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Chris Did Not React Well To His Elimination On ‘The Bachelorette’ Last Night

I’m going to preface this by saying that I do not watch ‘The Bachelorette”. It’s on the same day and time as Raw, so it’s just not meant to be, but anytime somebody reacts like this to being eliminated from a reality show about fake love, I have to blog about it. It’s in my tiger/blogger blood to give my two cents. Chris got eliminated by Kaitlyn, and he didn’t take it so well. They also took Chris to what looks like the edge of the cliff just to let him know he was being eliminated, then just kind of let him sit there and cry. Seems kind of cruel. Is this what “The Bachelorette” has become? Granted I don’t know what it was originally, but this is some cold blooded stuff. Just breaking his heart then sticking a camera in his face while he completely breaks down. I know this is all scripted, but somebody should check on Chris. Things aren’t OK at home.

– Ryan

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Kanye West Interrupted Kelsey on The Bachelor

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Hey Gwyneth Paltrow, Is Everything OK At Home?

H2NOGwyneth Paltrow is causing controversy again with a statement on her lifestyle website Goop about her belief that water might have feelings.

The 41-year-old actress, who recently split from her husband Chris Martin, endorsed the work of Japanese doctor Masuru Emoto, who has published several books on the theory that human consciousness can change the structure of water.

“I have long had Dr. Emoto’s coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water,” Paltrow wrote on her blog. “How the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it.”

“I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter,” Paltrow added.

Paltrow goes on to share the theories of Emoto through Dr. Habib Sadeghi in her newsletter. In his column, Sadeghi claims he “proved that energy generated by positive or negative words can actually change the physical structure of an object.”

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Glad Gwyneth is staying sane after the uncoupling or whatever the hell happened with Chris Martin. Maybe water has feelings, maybe water doesn’t have feelings. But why waste your time even writing something like that? We need water to survive and according to The Doctah our bodies are at least 89% water, and frankly I think he’s lowballing it. Is it a thing where you become famous, live in Hollywood then just think of the craziest thing in the world and starting saying it like it’s your own personal Bible? Gwyneth compared internet trolls to be being a wartime solider and now this; Charlize Theron compared being followed around to actual rape, and Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise. Maybe celebrities should tone the crazy for awhile, and unless water starts screaming at me from my water bottle telling me not to drink it I’m going to continue drinking 8-10 bottles a day.

– Ryan

 

Chris Kattan’s Mugshot is Not Pretty

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Not looking great, Chris. But I guess that’s what happens when you get a DUI and smash into a parked Department of Transportation car. What is love? Apparently it’s gaining 100 pounds in your head and neck area.

– Ryan

Hey Chris Humphries: Do Less

You’d think people would just get out of the way when Blake Griffin gets ready for takeoff. Especially when you’re Chris Humphries. If you’re a professional basketball player and the only reason people know who you are is because you married a Kardashian there’s a solid chance you suck as a professional basketball player. Get out of the way, Chris. Save the little dignity you have left.

– Ryan

Chris Brown Has Got the Asshole of the Decade Award Locked Up

(Source) “Chris Brown was arrested outside of a Washington, D.C. hotel in the wee hours of Sunday morning after allegedly striking a man, TMZ reports. The F.A.M.E. singer was booked on felony assault charges for punching the man in the face after an argument got out of hand. Sources claim Breezy and the man did not know each other, and that the other man did not throw a punch.

Brown was with his bodyguard, who was also arrested. Law enforcement confirms that neither Brown nor his bodyguard were under the influence of alcohol or drugs. The victim of the reported attack, who is claiming serious injury, was taken to a local hospital for evaluation and treatment. 

If convicted, Brown could face up to four years of prison time for the incident, which violates his 2009 probation order following the battery of then-girlfriend Rihanna. Brown was also involved in scuffles with rapper and nemesis Drake, and later with Frank Ocean, neither of which resulted in criminal charges. 

Breezy was in the D.C. area to host a party at Park & 14th nightclub.

Chris Brown allegedly used a gay slur against the man he punched in the face, according to eyewitnesses, in front of a Washington, D.C. hotel early Sunday morning. The victim and his friend reportedly photo bombed a picture Brown was taking with two female fans, causing the singer to snap and start a brawl. 

Before throwing the first punch, Brown reportedly said, “I’m not into this gay s***, I’m into boxing.” The victim of the attack, who was treated at a local hospital and subsequently released, is urging prosecutors to file criminal charges. Brown could face up to four years of prison time for breaking his probation (still active from his 2009 attack against Rihanna) and additional time if convicted of assault.”

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What a piece of shit this guy has turned out to be. It’s not enough to be a women beater anymore. Now you have to be a homophobe too. It seems as if Chris Brown has gotten every dickhead attribute a human can be born with. The perfect storm of assholes. Let’s hope this time he gets the punishment he deserves, which is a 4 year jail sentence with his roomate, slippery Jim.

– Ryan

So Grosse Point Woods-Shores Is Going To Win The Little League World Series

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Might as well just hand Michigan the title now, because apparently Andre The Giant has risen from the grave and now plays little league baseball. 6’2, 200 pounds at 12 years old seems unfathomable. A little league mound is 45 feet away, which means his hand could basically tickle your chin after he releases the ball. In his first qualifying game, Lorkowski struck out 10 batters and hit two home runs. Ya don’t say? That’s what happens when you let a monster play with children. The monster wins.

– Ryan

P.S. I’ll give credit where credit is due. Swag Daddy is a cool ass nickname.

Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones Are Leaving Pawnee Forever

Parks and Recreation’s on-again/off-again relationship between Rob Lowe’s Chris Traeger and Rashida Jones’ Ann Perkins will be coming to a head this season: because the two actors will be leaving the beloved NBC comedy. Sources have confirmed Lowe’s and Jones’ departures, which will take place in the show’s 13th episode (likely landing during February sweeps). The season ended with Chris and Ann continuing to try to have a baby together — let’s assume that plot will help usher the two out of Pawnee under happy circumstances. Jones has been on Parks and Rec playing Leslie’s (Amy Poehler) best friend since the show premiered in April 2009. Rob Lowe joined the cast near the end of Season 2 in what was meant to be a guest arc, but turned into a regular role. Both actors will continue to be busy: Jones has a development deal with Warner Bros. Television with her Celeste & Jesse Forever writing partner, Will McCormack; Lowe will play John F. Kennedy in NatGeo’s upcoming Killing Kennedy and will surely pop up on series television again in the future. Representatives of Jones and Lowe did not immediately return emails and calls about the departures. NBC had no comment. The hour-long premiere of Parks and Rec, filmed in London, airs on Sept. 26.

Update: Through the show’s publicist, Parks and Rec’s executive producer Mike Schur sent the following statement: “The news about Rob and Rashida is true — they will be leaving the show after the 13th episode of the upcoming season six. We’ve been working on their storyline (on and off) for four seasons now, and heading into this year, with the two of them contemplating parenthood, it felt like a natural time to move them into the next phase. We absolutely love both Rashida and Rob, and will be sad to see them go. Rashida was one of the very first people we knew we wanted in the cast, and as important as Ann is to Leslie (and vice-versa), she’ll certainly never be far from Pawnee. Rob we initially thought we could only have for six or eight episodes, and we couldn’t be happier that he will have stuck around for 75. They are wonderful, funny, committed actors, they’ve been a huge part of the Parks and Rec family, and we think we have a great Pawnee send-off in the works for them.” – Buzzfeed

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Well this sucks. Goodbye Chris Traeger. And goodbye my sweet, beautiful Ann. Parks and Rec certainly thrives due to it’s multi-talented ensemble cast, but it’s still sad to see two great characters (and actors) go. The ageless wonder, Rob Lowe, delighted us for over 3 seasons as Chris Traeger, the fitness obsessed auditor we all grew to love. No comedic character in recent memory was able to change the way a single world was spoken as much as Rob Lowe changed the word “literally”. He was an auditor, a city manager, a boyfriend, and one super positive dude. I sure am glad Chris didn’t die as a baby. Rashida Jones was already one of my favorite TV actresses due to her role as Karen in The Office, but her role as Leslie Knope’s sidekick Ann Perkins solidified her as a bonafide comedy star. When we first met Ann in season 1, she was dating resident slacker Andy Dwyer. Over the next 5 seasons, she struck up many romances, (including an on again, off again romance with Chris) nursed people back to health, and became a Pawnee public official when she was named public relations director for the health department. Fittingly, Ann was trying to get pregnant through vitro fertilization during last season, and who else but her old pal Chris was called upon to be the father. According to executive producer Mike Schur, both Lowe and Jones are expected to leave the show after episode 13 of the new season, where they will receive a “great pawnee sendoff”. Fly away my sweet prince and princess. Fly away and be free.

– Ryan

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