Blog Archives

The Worst Son In The World Pranked His Mother To Make Her Believe She Won The Powerball

SikeA celebration broke out at a California nursing home after a worker was told she was one of the Powerball winners — but it turned out to be a prank, relatives said Thursday.

The heartwarming story unraveled hours after a manager at the Park Avenue Health & Wellness Center in Pomona told reporters the staffer was a newly-minted millionaire.

David Levy, the nursing home’s administrator, said the facility was abuzz Wednesday night after the woman received a call from her son saying she was the winner.

Not Funny

Pranks in general are kind of an out dated move. When ‘Punk’d’ was popular it was fun to watch celebrities get pranked and then freak out, but this one is just downright mean. It’s especially mean because the pranker is the one person this woman probably trusts more than anyone, her no good son. I’m more upset with people still pranking other people in the year 2016 than I am the actual terribleness of this story, but imagine being this poor woman. She works at a nursing home dealing with old people shitting themselves all day, and then out of the blue her loving son calls her to tell her she’s going to be a millionaire and will never have to work a day in her life. Suddenly all that hard work was worth it, and she’s rewarded for a lifetime of giving. And then BOOM. Pranked. By her SON. Safe to say this lady is not going to have a fun weekend.

-Ryan

NXT Will Have A Live Event In California During WrestleMania Week & The Main Roster Is Probably Not Happy

WWEFor one night only, NXT Live is coming to California, as part of WrestleMania Week!

You’ve seen the Superstars and Divas of tomorrow on WWE Network, but now you can see them live and in-person when NXT debuts on the West Coast Friday, March 27.

After that night’s WrestleMania Axxess event, head over to the nearby San Jose State University Event Center for the NXT Live Event, which begins at 10 p.m. Tickets start at just $15 and will be available at Ticketmaster.com this Monday, March 16, at 12 noon ET.

This is great news for anyone heading out to the west coast for WrestleMania, and my only selfish complaint is that this won’t be on the WWE Network. Other than that, this is great for the NXT brand. If you watch both NXT and the WWE, you should notice that one is better than the other, and it’s no longer just the writing. Besides guys like Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, the WWE is far more focused on wrestling’s past than wrestling’s future. NXT is the exact opposite. They’ve accumulated talent from all over the world, and it’s all those different styles all working together that make NXT as great as it is. They don’t rely on past accomplishments to get people over, they put the guys and girls in the ring, let them do their thing and the audience responds. They don’t need “legends” of yesteryear cutting 10 minute promos about how many titles they’ve won or how important they used to be, they SHOW you why they’re as good as advertised and why we as fans should be excited for the future. Every week NXT puts on a great show and every live special is must see because the people behind the curtain and the people in the ring really care. I hope the live event is a huge success and I hope NXT continues to make the main roster mad. Competition, whether it be in house or elsewhere, has always been the best thing for pro wrestling.

– Ryan

The Hypnotist Bandit is Terrorizing California

Wet Bandits FBI agents are hunting a “Hypnotist Bandit,” who makes major eye contact during bank robberies.

The suspect reportedly stares at tellers as he hands over his demand note — and then refuses to look away as they hand over the cash.

He’s believed to have hit up four money houses in California in the past week.

Striking twice on June 3, he allegedly stole an undisclosed amount of cash from institutions in in Temple City and South El Monte.

The mesmerizing marauder is also accused of robbing another bank in Pasadena on May 27.

Doc Rivers dumbfounded

“Who makes major eye contact during bank robberies.” That’s a first. So this guy is being persecuted because he has fantastic people skills? Isn’t that what everyone is complaining about nowadays? All those kids texting and playing Candy Crush instead of some good old fashioned conversation and eye contact. I guess what he makes up for in eye contact he lacks in decision making skills. Is robbing a bank smart? Probably not, but this guy isn’t perfect. Do you expect him to have perfect people skills AND make all the right decisions? I think that’s asking too much of a flawed human being. On a serious note, does this guy carry a weapon? I’ve read the article and nowhere does it mention that he has a gun or a knife or anything. He just hands you a note, stares into your soul and takes all your money. That’s power.

– Ryan

California Chrome Lost the Triple Crown on Saturday Then His Owner Lost His Goddamn Mind

COWARDSHe also made a questionable analogy of why Tonalist’s participation Saturday was unfair.

“These people nominate their horses for the Triple Crown and then they hold out two [races] and then come back and run one,” Coburn told ESPN. “That would be like me at 6-2 playing basketball with a kid in a wheelchair. They haven’t done anything with their horses in the Triple Crown. There were three horses in this race that ran in the first two — California Chrome, Ride on Curlin and General a Rod — none of the other horses did.  You figure out. You ask yourself, ‘Would it be fair if I played basketball with a child in a wheel chair?”

Coburn made the analogy in both interviews Sunday morning. He was asked in the “Good Morning America interview” if he considered the comparison offensive.

“No, I’m just trying to compare the two,” he said. “Is it fair for me to play with this child in a wheelchair? Is it fair for them to hold their horses back?”

Coburn said he has no problems if people label him a “sore loser” and even proceeded to give out his phone number so people can call him with their complaints.

 

So this is one way to lose the Triple Crown. Call the horse who won the race, fair and square might I add, a coward, then compare the loss to you, a grown man, playing basketball against a kid in a wheelchair. Interesting analogy. I also love that he had to actually ask the question: “would it be fair if I played basketball with a child in a wheel chair?” Probably not, Steve. Also if you own a horse you should probably be OK with the rules of horseracing. If he came out with this rant before the Belmont race I would respect him a little bit more, because he just doesn’t agree with the rules. But saying this after the race just makes you look like a pissy pants sore loser. Above all else, I really hope this loss helps Steve Coburn work on his analogy game. Never compare yourself to handicapped children. It’s not a good look.

– Ryan

P.S. When did Wilfred Brimley start owning horses?

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I’m Torn On Whether to Love or Hate Tom Brady After This Weekend’s Kentucky Derby

 

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Tom Brady experienced the ultimate high and pretty close to the ultimate low this weekend at the Derby. Flying into a gala in a hot air balloon is insane. Just an incredible move. Personally I think it’s cooler than taking your own jet. The jet game is overrated and expensive. The hot air balloon game is barely tapped into and nobody expects it. I love it. But then he’s got that haircut and those red pants. I know he’s married to a supermodel and she apparently dresses him and has him get fancy haircuts, but this is absurd. Absurd haircut. Ruined any momentum his hot air balloon stunt created. I want to like Tom Brady. He lives a great life. Seems like a cool dude. But I can’t respect a guy with that haircut. Or those pants. That’s asking too much of me.

– Ryan

Has Anyone Been More Undeserving of a Nickname Than the “Snowboarder Bandit”?

(Source) “A Riverside man dubbed the “Snowboarder Bandit” because of his ski-type clothing and youthful appearance pleaded guilty Thursday to robbing banks throughout Orange County, including one in Newport Beach and three in Irvine.

Michael Brandon Franks, 30, was convicted of 10 felony counts of second-degree robbery and two felony counts of attempted second-degree robbery, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office.

Franks committed 10 robberies at nine banks between December 2011 and March 2012, the Daily Pilot reported.

In each of the robberies, Franks entered the bank wearing distinctive headgear that included a motorcycle helmet or beanie and sunglasses. He then slipped the bank teller a note that stated he had a gun and demanded money, prosecutors said.

Irvine police, with the assistance of FBI agents and Orange County sheriff’s deputies, arrested Franks at his home in Riverside in May 2012.

At the time of his arrest, authorities found money “fanned out” in the passenger side of Franks’ vehicle, a ripped up demand note and several used Band-Aids that were used to cover his fingertips, according to the district attorney’s office.

Franks faces up to 10 years and six months in state prison when he is sentenced in January.”

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I have to admit when I read this article I was jealous of this guy. Not only is he robbing banks, but the cops slapped him with a cool ass nickname. “The Snowboarder Bandit”. Ironic, since he lives in California, but still cool. I pictured him sliding in on a snowboard in full gear and goggles and calmy saying “give me your money dudes”. All the female bank tellers secretly love him and the security guards straight up respect his style. Turns out the “snowboarder bandit” wears a sweater vest, jeans, sneakers and a winter hat. Whoever is giving out bank robbing nicknames needs to reevaluate their criteria. This is bullshit. Not one thing about this guy makes me think he goes snowboarding. Call him the “winter hat in a tropical climate bandit”. That seems a little more fitting. I’m glad this guy got arrested. That’s what he gets for living a lie.

– Ryan

If You Have a Problem with Sriracha Then You Have a Problem With Me

(Source) “A judge is set to decide Thursday whether to grant Irwindale’s request to stop production of Sriracha sauce while the company tries to limit odors wafting into the neighborhood. 

The decision could have serious ramifications for next years’ supplies of Huy Fong Food’s three hot sauces: Chili Garlic, Sambal Oelek, and the wildly popular Sriracha “rooster” sauce.

The city of Irwindale sued Huy Fong Foods on Monday, claiming the spicy scent of ground peppers is a public nuisance in violation of the municipal code. The lawsuit came after some nearby residents complained of burning eyes and throats. 

The city asked for a temporary restraining order that would stop all operations at the factory immediately as a judge decides whether a preliminary injunction is necessary.

If the restraining order is granted, a judge will then decide whether to grant a preliminary injunction during a later hearing. 

The city also asked for a permanent injunction which, if granted, would stop all operations at the plant until Huy Fong Foods can remedy the smell to both the court and city’s satisfaction.

Sriracha has emerged as the condiment of the moment. It was formulated in L.A.’s Chinatown by a Vietnamese Chinese immigrant decades ago and attracted a cult following.”

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What’s that saying, “if you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen”? Well if you don’t like Sriracha you’re wrong and stupid and you should leave the country. The hot sauce is making your eyes water? You don’t say. It’s fucking hot sauce. You live with the side effects because it makes everything taste so much better. I love sriracha. I put on my eggs. I put it on my oysters. I put a dab in my hair when I’m having a rough day. Don’t you take this beautiful creation away from me because you have a sore throat. Gargle some salt water and stop being such a bitch. End scene.

– Ryan

Twitter News Weekly – Vol 2

-MattyV & Ryanfoges