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My beloved Buccaneers nearly killed me yesterday

This is something I should be used to…something that should brush off my shoulder, roll off my back, keep moving without missing a beat. I didn’t think the Buccaneers still had the power to destroy me. Boy was I wrong.

Picture my Sunday afternoon like this: Bruce Arians is Pennywise, living down in the sewers, leading idiot fans (like myself) to their deaths with the idea of a 2-1 start on top of the NFC South.

I’m stuffing my face with hot dogs and chips as the Bucs play a nearly perfect first half of football. I’m feeling good, great even. Then I hear a whisper from out in the street. My windows were open yesterday during the games, it was nice out. It’s PennyBruce, he’s calling from the storm drain.

I look down into the sewer with wanting eyes. “This is it! Jameis has found his rhythm….The Bucs have changed…Maybe they’ll talk about us on SportsCenter this week…Mike Evans’ prime won’t be squandered!”

“Come closer Matt! Have you seen Shaq Barrett? He’s awesome!”, the clown brags–It doesn’t matter, I’ve already taken the bait.

Next thing I know I’m being dragged into the sewers. Jameis throws a pick, my arm gets bitten off. “3 and out, 3 and out, 3 and out”, the demented clown starts to chant. I’ve lost the will to live by the time Daniel Jones runs it in to put them ahead.

I let the other side take me as the field goal attempt soars far outside the right post. I wish I could tell you it was painful, but it wasn’t—I was numb. I had seen this story before.

I slump back on my couch.

Death, taxes and the Buccaneers blowing a second half lead.


Maybe I’ll be back later this week with a more positive outlook. Maybe I won’t.

Glennon Gets No Lovie


Before I begin I would like to assure the New England Average Nobodies that we have channels in place so that we can get more local sports coverage besides the Sox. I promise. Having said that, back to Tampa.

Once again Mike Glennon gets no love from the Bucs coaching staff. Lovie Smith announced this week that he would not name the 2nd year QB their week 5 starter…yet. With Josh McClown….i’m sorry, McCown*, still nursing a hand injury it will have to be later in the week before Lovie makes his choice. Because you know, beating the Steelers and getting the first tally in the win column isn’t enough to beat out a veteran guy that looks like he hasn’t played football before…oh and has a sprained throwing hand. I get it, Lovie doesn’t want to look like the idiot that went out and paid for McCown when you had your starter in pewter and red all along. Makes sense, but come on man! Our season depends on it. McCown is not the future so lets see what this Nebraska boys got!



Tampa Bay Buccaneers v Pittsburgh Steelers

Some People Think Lavonte David Doesn’t Deserve #35 on The NFL Top 100 List




It’s kind of funny that the FIRST TEAM ALL-PRO LINEBACKER, that got #35 on the top 100 players list, didn’t make the Pro Bowl. Oh well, next year buddy.

Congrats, Lavonte! Can’t wait for you and McCoy to DOMINATE this year! Go Bucs!

The Seahawks Signed Jared Allen……


Why Tampa? Why?! You make all these signs but not Allen? That’s right because we don’t need sacks. Who needs sacks? I sure as hell don’t need sacks.


Watch Out! The Buccaneers Just Won Their 3rd Straight!

While this season might be done after starting 0-8, not all is lost!  Keep playing hard! Next up, the red-hot Panthers! Lets skin these cats!


Where Do You Draw the Line on Being Well-dressed and Looking Insane?


I think Darrelle Revis and Tim Wright might be riding the line perfectly. Fresh suites at Raymond James means time to kill the Fins.

Side note: is that a man purse in Revis’s hand? If so I think I might need to go out and get one. Matt’s Island all over Providence.

Before you hate all over my face, let’s see whose company I would be in.

John Mayer


Steve Nash


Hugh Jackman


Terrence Howard


and Jerry



I’m Ready For Some Football!

Tonight my boys, the Tampa Bay Bucs, go against the home team favorites, the New England Patriots.

We are one step closer to football season,  and that means one step closer to Fantasy Football. OHHHHH I love this time of year.

How about a video from the Buccaneers glory days, featuring a mic’d up Derrick Brooks? AWESOME



PS- What a D-squad! Ronde, Brooks, Sapp, Rice, and Lynch! Does it get any better?


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