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The Doctah Weighs In: Science Says The Broken Heart Can Be Mended…By The Placebo Effect

Researchers at the University of Colorado Boulder found that simply believing you’re doing something positive to get over your ex can influence brain regions associated with emotional regulation and lessen the pain you’re feeling. In other words, remaining open to the possibility that what you’re doing could potentially make you feel better works like a placebo effect.The participants were asked to bring in two photos: one of their ex and one of a close friend. Inside a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, the heartbroken parties were shown images of their exes and asked to reflect on the breakup.

Then they saw the images of their friend (the control variable).They were also given a jolt of physical pain (a hot stimulus on their left forearm).As these stimuli were alternately repeated, the participants were asked how they felt on a scale of 1 (very bad) to 5 (very good). Meanwhile, the fMRI machine tracked activity in the brain. The machine showed similar areas of the brain lit up during both emotional pain (reminiscing and looking at the ex pic) and physical pain — suggesting that the heartache you feel after a breakup is very real and not just in your head. – Huff Post

Holy Shit!  First of all, now science has decided to inflict pain on humans to distinguish heartbreak.  Does anybody not find this alarming?  Let’s look quick:  electronic pain to determine how heartbroken you are?

Ok.  Now that we are over the woes of humanity.  They also found a solution:  Fake it until you make it.  Now, I may not technically be a doctor, but some say I may be a doctor of “LOVE”, so I could technically give you some unofficial breakup advice for men by a/the MAN.

You love your girlfriend, you buy her a gift, she breaks up with you.  Let’s keep the synopsis’s general and short.  Best way to handle this is, according to science, do not attempt to gain her back.

Instead, go to the mall, and tell every girl you see that you need to take a picture of them kissing your cheek to make your ex girlfriend jealous.  Two things will happen:  You will get a lot of kisses which will make you feel more loved which will slowly decrease the heartbreak (there are reasons why I am considered a Doctah, rather than a Doctor).  You will also post them on Facebook and Instagram, and this will bring more females into your life, as well as bring her back.

Whala!  Eureka!  No one gives break up advice for MEN, so I’m going to do it.

Stay Classy My Friends.

~The Doctah~

 

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Robin Thicke is Reason #1000 Why It’s Easier to Be a Celebrity

AlanRobin Thicke will stop at nothing to get his gal back.

The 37-year-old singer has reportedly written a new song in effort to work things out with his estranged wife, Paula Patton, and will perform it at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards, according to TMZ.

“I should’ve kissed you longer/ I should’ve held you stronger,” are some of the lyrics from the hearlfelt ballad titled “Get Her Back.”

“All I wanna do is make it right,” the track continues via the gossip site.

“I gotta get her, go get her back/ I gotta treat her right /I gotta cherish her for life”

This is not the first public attempt Thicke has made to make things right with Patton, who he has been involved with since his teenage years.

He has opened up at several of his concerts since the pair’s separation announcement, made in February after eight years of marriage, stressing how he wants to work things out.

Patton, 38, recently spoke out about the split in Vanity Fair’s June issue, telling the mag, “there’s a deep love there — always was, and always will be.”

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Wait, am I supposed to feel bad for Robin Thicke? If you play the game you can’t get mad when the game ruins your life. That’s how it works. You can’t travel around the world seducing everybody and having sex with every girl who gives you the eye and expect your hot, actress wife to be OK with it. Also, let’s not forget that Robin Thicke has the one thing working for him that can heal this marriage: he’s a celebrity. Your wife caught you cheating? Write her a song that you can perform at an award show so she has no choice but to watch it. Make the lyrics all lovey dovey so she REALLY knows you mean it. It really is that simple. If I wrote my ex girlfriend a love song and tried to sing it to her I’d be trespassing and breaking probation. But Robin Thicke does it and he’s a hero. Game ain’t fair. Game ain’t fair.

– Ryan

 

Movie Title Breakup Video

Pretty fantastic. Happy Valentines day!

-Matt

Ryan & George: Best Friends Forever

“Buzz is bubbling up that George Clooney, 52, is single again. Clooney, who has been dating Stacy Keibler, 33,  for the past two years, have apparently called it quits. According to RadarOnline, the two were last seen together in public on March 16 in Germany. This past holiday weekend, Clooney was spotted at his Lake Como estate in Italy without her on July 4th. And Keibler posted a photo of herself in Malibu on July 3. She’s is busy working on her new Lifetime TV show, Supermarket Superstar, premiering July 22. He’s working on the film, Monuments Men. People mag reports that it was Stacy’s doing because she “wants to have children and a family someday,” a source says.  No official word from either camp.” – USA Today

So you’re saying theres a chance. Classic Clooney, breaking up with one of the hottest girls in the world on America’s birthday. Its really insane how quickly guys like him and Leo and John Mayer go through girls. With that said, now is my time to prove to George that we should be best friends. He’s vulnerable, needs a strong male influence to get through this tough time. I feel like if Clooney gave me a chance, I could be the Chris O’Donnell to his Batman. He doesn’t realize it now, but having me around would greatly increase my opportunity of hooking up with world famous supermodels. I could cook him Ryan’s special eggs every morning, and whenever he seduces a lucky lady, I could.lend him my special mix tape to set the mood.

Just think about it George. You have everything in the world except a best friend. Let me be that best friend.

– Ryan

P.S. These are the lengths I’m willing to go for my best friend. A+ in heart.

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