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Well I knew it. Donald Trump is president. I said it in my inaugural post that there was something about him. Now look what happened………I mean I didn’t vote, but you guys fucked up big time. But to be honest I could care less about politics. His presidency may or may not be a successful one, but at the very least we get four years of comedy gold. And who knows maybe he gets impeached, that oughta be pretty funny too. So give the golden raisin a chance, maybe he’ll surprise you. But in case this whole thing turns into a circus, I got just the song to start it off. Check out that choreography.
Game of Thrones season four is coming to an end this Sunday, so we decided to look back and find our favorite season finale moments from television’s past.
The Sopranos Season 2 Finale “Funhouse” – Big Pussy’s Death
Although we saw it coming, the death of Sal “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero was still heartbreaking and violent. It was a stark reminder that there are rules to be followed in Tony Soprano’s world, and if you break those rules, best friend or not, you’ll sleep with the fishes. While friendship isn’t exactly a major theme in the Soprano’s, Tony’s crew relied on each other to survive in the cutthroat world of organized crime. As you might expect, Big Pussy wasn’t the first or last cog to fall during the Soprano’s run, but his death was one of the most important in the series.
Breaking Bad Season 4 Finale “Face Off” – The Death of Gus and the Rise of Heisenberg.
In one of Heisenberg’s most devious plans he turns his once nemesis, Hector Salamanca, into his interment of death but taking down the fried chicken king with a bell, a pipe bomb, and the element of surprise. When I was watching this episode unfold I had no idea that Gus would go this way. I had a feeling his days were numbered as Walter became more and more like the devil incarnate, but I had no idea he would go like this. The ultimate “fuck you” move has to be settling the score by taking your lifetime enemy down with you. And of course, who comes out on top? Walter White.
I’ve been in Italy for the past 10 days, and if you haven’t noticed, that’s because Funky Butt Matt has been doing one hell of a job running Average Nobodies. Now that I’m back, I have a lot of DVR’d television to watch, but first, I wanted to spread the word about everything I learned while in Italy.
I visited Rome, Assisi, Perugia, Florence, Sienna, Venice, Murano, Lake Como and Malpensa. I know, I impress myself sometimes. If I had to sum up all these places in one word, it would be wine.
1. I would be 500 pounds if I lived in Italy. I know a lot of people say that when they come back from vacation but it’s 100% true. Italians don’t eat to leave and go somewhere else, they leave where they are to go eat. It’s like a spiritual experience to them. Every day we put aside 2-3 hours for lunch, and by lunch I mean antipasto as an appetizer, followed by loads of bread followed by pasta followed by veal/fish. For LUNCH. Throw in a few jugs of wine and you have the best lunch ever created. It was wonderful, but if I stayed any longer I’d be one of those people who needs a forklift to get from their bedroom to the bathroom.
2. Italians, and Europeans in general, somehow didn’t get the “smoking is bad for you” memo. EVERYONE smokes in Italy. Babies, normal people, old people. Its insane. The only downside to this, besides constantly smelling like cigarettes, is that Italians love to smoke while they eat. Luckily for them, just about every restaurant in Italy has outside dining. What’s a bowl of pasta without half a dozen cigarettes anyway?
3. I found my new favorite song. While in Florence, I ate at a restaurant that played a live version of Country Roads by John Denver, except with a violin and an accordion. It was amazing. I don’t know who the two guys who played it are, but one day I will travel back and find them and make them play that song for me on repeat forever.
4. The YMCA is my jam. You know how the Soviets used to train spies and send them to the US and give them trigger words to cause chaos? The YMCA is my trigger word. Once I hear it I stop what I’m doing and just turn into a dancing machine.
5. The mosquito’s in Italy are ravenous animals. Apparently if you eat fruit they single you out and take advantage of you. Guess what this guy had for breakfast every morning? Large quantities of fruit.
6. Pasta Arrabbiata is the most amazing thing I’ve ever eaten. It’s translating as just pasta with a spicy sauce, but it’s so much more. I do not know what is in the sauce, but whatever the hell it is must be some sort of heaven on Earth. Also, refer back to point 1 about being 500 pounds because I would eat this for lunch and dinner every day for the rest of my life.
7. If wine addiction is a thing, I have it. I’m also addicted to the Italian lifestyle of multiple hour lunches with four course meals and endless jugs of wine. Between the food, wine, sites, views and history, Italy is a place to be treasured. Basically, Italy is heaven on Earth.
Today marks the start of SXSW 2014 in Austin Texas. There is only one problem with that…WE ARE STILL IN RHODE ISLAND. Never fear, The Average Nobodies are diligently finishing up their last days at work and are flying down tomorrow to begin our SXSW extravaganza! But what does that mean for you? It means that you are coming with us! Well, kind of, and let us explain. We will be covering every inch of our experience while down in Austin. Look for our tweets (@AverageNoboides), look for our videos (we will be releasing a special “Twitter News Weekly” filmed at SXSW), look for our pictures, and, if you happen to be at SXSW, LOOK FOR US! We would love to meet up with you guys!
See you on the other side!
-Ryan & Matt
PS- if you happen to be at SXSW keep a lookout for our flyers!
What would you eat for your last meal? Walk in the park right? WRONG. Some people may think they have a favorite food, but all that changes when you realize this will be the last thing you put in your flavor snout forever. Here are our picks, whats yours? Comment below!
When I eventually get arrested, and sentenced to death, for loving the Tampa Bay Buccaneers too much, i’m going to be eating like a king at my last meal. What do I have? Meatloaf, hands down. A delicious meatloaf made with extra ketchup and a ketchup sauce all over the top just seeping into the meaty goodness. Maybe I make a sandwich or maybe I have it plain. I don’t know, it’s my last meal, i’ll do what I want. Just so I am clear I’m not talking a couple slices either. I’m talking a big, fat, tender, juicy loaf. The whole loaf, and nothing but the loaf. This is your last meal, if your goal isn’t to eat like you’ve never ate before then you’re doing it wrong. My aim is to have a heart attack before they can jolt me.
I’m living my dream as a high school chemistry teach when out of nowhere I get diagnosed with cancer. My next logical step is to team up with one of my former students and start selling meth, partly because I’ve always felt undervalued and partly to keep food on the table for my family (my son has an insatiable appetite for breakfast foods). Things go surprisingly smoothly, unless you count the fact that I’m now murdering drug dealers and I’m constantly paranoid of being caught because my brother in law is a DEA agent. Things really go south when I shave my head and start wearing a fedora. Eventually I become a kingpin, but I still don’t feel I get the respect I deserve. After leaving the business, my brother in law finally realizes I’m the man he’s been searching for all along. Just as he’s about to arrest me however, my Nazi friends kill him and his underrated Spanish partner and steal almost all of my money. MY MONEY! Now that my family is in shambles, my sleazy lawyer hooks me up with a vacuum salesmen who puts me in the unofficial witness protection program. I’m content with living out the rest of my life in New Hampshire. As I’m ready to finally surrender, my two old college friends just happen to be on the TV and condemn me for entering the drug business, and strike my name from the annals of history. Not on my watch. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS! I summon up the courage to get back to my hometown and take out the Nazi’s and my former student, who ratted me out to the feds. The police finally have me surrounded, but before I put my hands behind my head, I reach into my pocket and find the Ricin I had left there for a rainy day. Do I take it? No. I’ll wait for the beef stew in prison. I love beef stew.
— Mick Foley (@realmickfoley) August 9, 2013
Asus-made Nexus 10 tablet reportedly coming soon http://t.co/pCoOApQLWF
— The Verge (@verge) August 9, 2013
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) August 9, 2013