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Blog Archives

Charlize Theron’s SNL Promo’s Are Here & Man Is She Gorgeous

It’s an undeniable fact that Charlize Theron is gorgeous, but she kind of sneaks under the radar sometimes. Whenever these beautiful people lists come up she never seems to float to the top but she absolutely should. Short hair, long hair, no hair. She’s just got that face that makes you forget where the hell you are. As far as hosting SNL, this is her second time, with the first being way back in the year 2000. She’s a pro, so I can’t see her flopping, and with her there promoting A Million Ways To Die in the West, I’m hoping for a cameo or two from some of her co stars. Seth Macfarlane? NPH? Liam Neeson? Maybe even her new lover Sean Penn? Possiblities are endless. The Black Keys doing the singing is just a major bonus. I can’t wait for Saturday night.

– Ryan

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Lebron James Channeling His Inner Philippe From Man in the Iron Mask

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Is Lebron trying to overthrow his evil twin brother or playing a basketball game? Because I honestly can’t tell. If Lebron wants to know why the whole world hates him, look no further than last night. A few years ago Lebron got a face boo boo while playing for the Cavs and wore a regular face mask. Now he gets the same boo boo and of course he has to make a spectacle of it. He knew the game was on TNT. He knew it would get national coverage. And now instead of the story being about his TEAM winning the game, SportsCenter will have 18 different segments dedicated to his mask. Puke city.

– Ryan

R. Kelly is Going to Make a Christmas Album, Seduce Everyones Female Relatives and Probably Have Sex With Them

Source – If you’re planning to play one of R. Kelly’s recent albums to liven up your  holiday parties (and really, who isn’t?), make sure you check the album art  first.

That’s because his forthcoming Christmas album (due out in time for next  year’s holiday) would be a much more seasonally appropriate choice than his  lascivious new one, “Black Panties.”

Don’t mistake the Christmas record as being exactly wholesome, however, he  told Rap-Up Interview. “It’s gonna be a lot of lovemaking. … I come with  that bearing gifts.”

The mind reels at the sex-metaphor possibilities that the holiday season will  open up for Kelly.  Though we hope he’ll broaden his topicality to include  all sorts of cultural celebrations — from Hanukkah (eight nights of passion, etc.) to Diwali and  beyond.

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I don’t care what this article says. In R. Kelly’s world, there are two things: wonderful, visceral sexy sex..and death. Horrible, boring death. R. Kelly could be making a Christian church album for small children. It wouldn’t matter. All he knows is sexy sex. If you buy this album, R. Kelly is going to have his way with you. And it’s probably going to be glorious.

– Ryan

Vladimir Putin Awarded Grandmaster Status in Taekwondo Even Though He Doesn’t Do Taekwondo

“Russian president Vladimir Putin has been  awarded the highest rank in taekwondo, giving him honorary grandmaster  status.

It means the president has attained a higher  ranking than former US martial artist Chuck Norris. The actor has an  eight-degree black belt, while Mr. Putin has a ninth-degree.

The president does not  practice taekwondo, but holds a black belt in Judo and has been awarded an  eighth Dan in the martial art by the International Judo Federation.”

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Oh Putin doesn’t study taekwondo? He practices Judo? That’s adorable, now give him the 9th degree black belt and grandmaster status before he wrestles a bear and kicks your ass. If I ruled an entire country I’d probably pull off power moves like this too. Shoot bow and arrows shirtless. Get 9th degree black belts in something he doesn’t even practice. Your move, Chuck Norris.

– Ryan

Saturday Night Live Review – Kerry Washington & Eminem

Kerry Washington and her fine self is your host. The hysterical Eminem is the musical guest. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights..

Cold Open – White House

Everyone knew this was coming. The casting of six white cast members (5 male) during SNL’s off season irked critics who’ve longed for more female black cast members. Washington is our first black host of the year, so it makes sense to talk about the elephant in the room. The text on screen was hysterical, and Washington played a good Michelle Obama and Oprah.

What Does My Girl Say?

Blogged about this earlier in the week. The SNL digital shorts have been solid this season, and as expected, SNL takes the cake when it comes to parodies of ridiculous pop culture hits. Who that, who that, who that bitch. Kinda catchy.

Weekend Update

I feel like there hasn’t been a bad weekend update in years. Seth and Cecily are a killer team, so it will be bittersweet when he leaves for his own late night talk show. Jay Pharaoh and Kenan’s Shaq and Barkley impressions are so good it’s creepy. Seriously, though: WHAT’S EATING THE RATS IN NYC!?

Career Week Speaker

This may be the year Nasim Pedrad breaks free. She got to star in two sketches last week, and her hand movements/gyrations coordinated with lasers were pretty awesome in this sketch. Can’t deny the success of someone who owns a Honda Prelude. Also, Kerry Washington can be my sidekick any day.

Ice Cream

Put a bunch of 25-35 year old guys in a room with a decent amount of weed and you have the ice cream sketch. This was bizarre, but I liked it. Compared to some of the sketches me and my friends have come up with, this is quasi normal. The digital shorts/ pre-taped segments have all been really good this season.

Kerry Washington was a great host, and Eminem was making me LMAO. Not really, but he lip synced his way through a few songs, which is fine with me. Another solid episode, with a few OK sketches, but for the most part a good show. SNL went out of it’s way to address the lack of a black female character, a trend I hope doesn’t continue. They’re in the business of making people laugh, not answering every gripe from boneheads with a computer. We’re back November 16th with musical guest and host, Lady Gaga.