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I Just Signed Up For a Mini Triathlon – Time To Get Training

double-treadmill-fail

 

I’m not sure what I just got myself into. I just registered for a .5 mile swim, 10 mile bike, and 4 mile run, triathlon. To start off let me tell you that I am in no kind of shape to even WATCH a event like this. Last weekend when I was walking about NYC I needed to take a half hour break so I didn’t die.  I hope to change that over the course of the next few months and by august dominate* this event! I have experience biking and swimming so those pieces of the event will require the least amount of training for me. However, the running, even a meek 4 miles, is going to be a beast.

Here is how I see my run training going

Wish me some luck.

-Matt

Stay tuned for a before weigh-in/fit test.  That should be interesting.

*Finish without collapsing.

Cam Zink (awesome name) with Your Average 78 Foot Backflip on a Mountain Bike

These Red Bull athletes are insane. Just riding a mountain bike through the desert, doing backflips 80 feet in the air. As a 25 year old who can barely ride a bike, I give these guys a lot of credit, which I think is better than praise coming from their peers. I’m sure all these extreme athletes theoretically blow each other everyday, telling each other how good they are. Praise from the outside world is probably gold to them. Cam Zink deserves my golden praise. Awesome name, awesome trick. By the way who ever did that commentary needs a job hosting something that people watch ASAP.

– Ryan

P.S. Every time I see an extended video of the desert I think of Breaking Bad and a cloud of sadness engulfs me.

If You Cut Off Traffic On Your Motorcycle Shia LaBeouf Will Stare Into Your Soul

You know what? I’m glad Shia LaBeouf stole this girl’s soul from her. People on bikes thinks they rule the road, and just because they’re bike is small enough to create a middle lane they think they can skip out on traffic. Because everyone else in a car or truck is having the time of their lives sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. Whenever I’m in heavy traffic I can’t wait to get home and call my parents to tell them about what an enjoyable experience it was. If I’m being honest, watching someone skip out on that traffic and zoom by me in the middle lane makes it that much worse. At least I can look over at the car next to me and know that that person is just as miserable as me.

After watching this video, I just feel bad for people who use this move now. I’m 99% sure Shia knows all this girl’s secrets and desires. All her wants and needs are now apart of him, and he owns her soul. If you think you’re gonna zip through traffic repercussion free while Shia LaBeouf is around you’re wrong. Dead wrong.

– Ryan

Sticking it to the Cops Has Never Been Funnier

Here is a short “revenge” video this guy made in response to getting a ticket for not biking in the proper bike lanes. I’m not sure if this is just another d-bag or if he makes a valid point. All I know is that videos of people hurting themselves are funny. That’s the bottom line.

What do you think?

-MattyV

PS- I could never bike anywhere because by the time I get to my destination I will need a shower. I’m not sure how long this guy’s commute is, but if it is more than 10 feet then I would be sweating.

I Have A New Worst Nightmare, and it’s Name is The Peregrine Falcon

I hate birds. Let me rephrase that: I’m deathly afraid of birds. It’s a trait I inherited from my mother, who inherited it from her mother before her. To be honest I’m not quite sure why more people don’t fear them. Have you ever seen a hawk up close? No thanks. I’ll be a stay at home dad who makes sure the floor is washed and the clothes are folded. I was enjoying my day off like any other red blooded American does on a Tuesday (watching Maury) until I stumbled upon this gem of a video. I’ve literally never been more afraid of something in my life. Some fun facts about the peregrine falcon: it’s a raptor, or bird of prey, and it’s one of the most widely distributed species of bird in the world, found in every continent except Antarctica. Looks like I’m buying snow shoes and getting the fuck out of here.

– Ryan

P.S. This just proves those Red Bull athletes are the most insane people on Earth. “Hey Jimmy ride your bike down this mountain, oh and I’m gonna let a raptor chase after you and peck your dick off.”

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