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Remind Me Never to Buy Marijuana in Florida

Fat Boy Deputies found marijuana nestled in the stomach chub of a 450-pound Florida man known as “Fat Boy.”

The drug-running suspect and his driver were pulled over near Osteen on Friday for not wearing a seat belt.

The big passenger, Christopher Mitchell, 42, told the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office deputy he was too fat to wear a seatbelt, arrest records show.

Mitchell goes by “Biggie” as well, according to the Florida Department of Corrections’ website.

But the two men appeared nervous and the deputy called in a drug-sniffing dog that immediately picked up on cocaine in the front seat and traces of marijuana.

The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat.

Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock.

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First things first: how heavy is this guy’s head? I’m gonna say 150 pounds. Secondly, of course. Of course Florida drug dealers hide their drugs in their stomach fat. I understand this guy was 450 pounds and was nicknamed “fat boy”, but 23 grams of marijuana is a decent amount of weed. It’s not like he had a gram or two under there. That is an excessive amount of fat storage. It also makes me question a lot of things. Do other drug dealers do this? Am I smoking belly fat weed? Because if I am then I’m going to be really depressed. Not even angry; just extremely upset. Florida is slowly killing everything I enjoy, and I’m powerless to stop it. Also, work on your nickname game, Florida. You don’t nickname a fat guy “fat boy”. It’s poor taste.

– Ryan

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