Blog Archives

Mandy Patinkin Shaving Off His Beard is a Crime!


What the hell Saul, Mandy, whatever. When you have the rare ability to grow out such a beautiful beard, why would you ever shave it? Millions of men around the world stare at that beard in reverance. And now it’s gone. This a crime against humanity. He should be locked in a jail cell and then they should throw away the key. Just don’t throw it too far, because Saul is the only good character in Homeland right now.

– Ryan

Jon Hamm Dominates No-shave November


If I could even grow a beard half-as-magnificent as that I could die happy. I’m also pretty sure that Jon Hamm could shave a stripe right down the middle of his head and still get any girls to swoon all over him. Jon Hamm, teach me your ways.

Every time someone tells me that I can’t grow a beard (because I can’t) this is how I feel.


Ultimate Showdown – Wally vs. Fred The Bird

wally vs fred

Looks like we have ourselves a little mascot wager. Can’t wait to see what Fred looks like with a beard.


PS- Ryan says: “PostCards. Cool name….NOT”

Jon Hamm’s Beard Is Magical

View image on Twitter

Someone who looks as handsome as Jon Hamm does clean shaven shouldn’t be allowed to grow a mean beard like this. I was always under the impression it was one or the other. If you looked good clean shaven then your beard would come in all patchy, and if you could grow a serious beard then maybe you had some type of facial deformity. Not Jon Hamm. He’s a mythical creature who’s handsomeness knows no limits. I don’t want to grow a beard now. I have to.

– Ryan

Why It Sucks To Be A Redskin Fan: Guy Loses Bet, Has To Eat Part Of His Beard

I don’t know why this guy bet on the Redskins and I don’t care. All I know is I expected to see someone eat his beard and I was let down. You lost the bet, so now have to deliver on a promise. Those are the rules of betting. If your beard is 3 feet long and you say you’re gonna eat your beard then I expect you to eat at least half of that beard. Who are these guys friends letting him get away with this? If this guy was one of my friends we’d make him shave the whole thing off then eat it piece by piece. Then we’d make a smoothie out of his tears. Tough love is the only love. I’m glad he’s a Redskins fan, because after a showing like that he deserves to suffer for all of eternity.

– Ryan

I’m Never Traveling to Florida Again


“Looks like this guy wasn’t using his noodle. Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese. A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy’s missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking. The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother’s stomach. When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando. Randy allegedly admitted that “I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn’t mean to.” He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.” – HuffPost

What the hell is in the water in Florida? Yesterday we had the chip thief/rapist murderer Jacky Rogers, and today we have Randy Zipperer, the Mac N’ Cheese stabber. To be honest, I’m not surprised that someone who looks like Randy stabbed someone over missing Mac N’ Cheese. He’s got no teeth, a rapist smile and that far off look that I’m assuming murderers get right before they finish their victim. If you showed me Randy’s picture without telling me the news story, I’d probably guess he stabbed someone on my second or third try. That’s what people who look like that do. In Randy’s defense, it seemed like he was going to let the missing Mac N’ Cheese slide. He may have been starving to death, but at least he had his beer. Then Edward had to go and take that away from Randy too. If someone were to lose my Mac N’ Cheese, then spill my beer, I’d turn into a knife wiedling maniac too. The most shocking part of this story is that Randy is 49. He’s got to be the oldest looking 49 year old in the world.

– Ryan

%d bloggers like this: