The Golden Globes took place Sunday, and there was a lot to love about them. Ricky Gervais was naturally hysterical, and I will burn my own home to the ground before I dislike any awards show host who drinks a beer all night. The speeches were good, as were the presenters, and Denzel even won a makeshift lifetime achievement award. What were our favorite moments? Well, that’s what we’re hear for.
Sly Stallone Wins Best Supporting Actor
Sly Stallone has been in movies for 5 decades now, and while you’ll never hear him mentioned in the ‘greatest actors of our generation’ conversation, the characters he’s created will last forever. In that vain, it was pretty awesome to see him get recognized for his role in ‘Creed’, as the aging, wise and still emotionally fragile Rocky Balboa. Rocky is hands down one of the most iconic characters in movie history, and Stallone has found a way to breath life back into a character that we thought had thrown his final punch. ‘Creed’ was a very good movie, and the combination of Stallone and Michael B. Jordan was a fun one to watch. His speech was unjustly criticized, as he forgot to mention his fellow actors and director, but that’s just the society we live in now. We refuse to let anyone enjoy the moment, and even though this is Stallone’s first Golden Globe nomination in THIRTY EIGHT years, it’s much more accepted now to criticize his speech than congratulate the man who’s making it. My favorite part of his acceptance speech was when he proclaimed “I am the sum total of everyone I’ve ever met.” I really like that line, and I hope he has another chance to speak come Oscar night.
Jonah Hill puts a bear head on and Channing Tatum laughs like a school girl
The bartender at the Globes was over pouring and I LOVED it. It seemed like everyone who went to the mic was hammered off their ass. When Channing went up and introduced the Bear from The Revenant I knew exactly who would be lumbering on stage, Jonah “fluctuating weight” Hill. He did a hilarious little bit from the perspective of a bear on a big Hollywood set. The banter was funny, but was was even funnier was Channing laughing hysterically behind him. Its like he slipped a little bit of the drug from 21 Jump Street before going on stage.
I love that Jonah and Channing are best friends. If Ryan and I had the opportunity to get on stage during the Golden Globes I feel this is exactly what would happen. Moments later Ryan would be singing ‘Fast Car” and I would be screaming into the mic looking for Bill Paxton. That’s when we get banned from every hollywood event for the rest of our lives. Until that moment comes we will have to live vicariously through Jonah and Channing.
Bears – After knocking over trash cans and scaring the residents of a Daytona Beach neighborhood Thursday, this black bear needed a rest. Photographer Rafael Torres said he followed the bear as it climbed into a hammock on Glenbriar Circle and got comfortable. Torres said he was about 60 feet away when he took the photos, and the bear didn’t seem bothered by his presence. It stayed in the hammock for 20 minutes before heading back into the woods around 8:15 p.m. “He got in the hammock like he was a tourist or something,” said Vincent James, who owns the home and the hammock. “Then something spooked him and he ran right back there. Then half an hour later I come back and I saw there he is in the hammock again.” The bear has been spotted multiple times in the Pebble Creek neighborhood in Daytona Beach since Wednesday. Residents say he was looking for food, tearing through a bird feeder and then trash cans.
This is weird. A species in Florida that isn’t stabbing a family member over mac and cheese or inventing words or urinating all over women. Bartholomew the Bear is actually just acting like a bear, and a pretty cool bear at that. In his defense, knocking over trash cans looking for food sounds pretty tiring. I bent down to tie my shoes the other day and needed to sit the next couple minutes of my day out, so I feel his pain. And if you see an open hammock you lay in it. One of the first rules of life. I don’t care if you’re a bear, a turtle or a human or some kind of future hybrid animal. Always lay in the hammock. Welcome to Florida, where bears lay in hammocks and humans dump buckets of urine on each other’s heads.
Planet Fitness, I really enjoy your gym. It’s clean, well maintained, all the machines work, and I have ample space for my finer stretches. However, there is one thing that you lack in a BIG way, wild animal fighting. There is no space for me to fight with any wild animals and even worse there are no wild animals at your gym. With the way the fitness society is changing this is unacceptable. How am I suppose to work up a good sweat? On a treadmill? Pshhhh, like that will ever work. See the video below for my new workout regiment.
Protein powder? Diet pills? Steroids? Who needs ’em when you have a bear to spar with. I figure I will go out and find a adolescent bear and start there. Maybe move up to its parents as I gain experience. Not to mention I will have an awesome new pet; Talk about two birds with one stone. I can’t see this ever going wrong.
A spokesperson for Winslet confirmed the name to People Magazine.
According to the Daily Mail, Rocknroll’s original surname was on Bear’s birth certificate (Ned Abel Smith), but the Virgin Galactic employee changed it back to Rocknroll. Because NAMES.
Move over Florida, Rhode Island’s got crazy fever! This video of a Rhode Island NBC10 reporter explaining what to do when you see a bear is the craziest thing i’ve seen since Sharknado. That’s how to repel a bear?? By looking at this girls survival tactics something tells me she wouldn’t last 2 minutes on ‘Naked and Afraid’. Apparently this is going viral, and why not?! It’s hilarious. And it already has a remixed version! That’s when you know you’ve made the big time.