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While Fred Armisen is Away, Bill Nye Will Play…in The Band

Love me some Bill Nye, Love me some Seth Meyers. Bill nye needs to work on his comedic timing just a bit, but I guess you don’t have time for any of that stuff when you are off saving the world. Seth Meyers putting the bit on his back like only he knows how to.



Biquette, The Most Metal Goat in the World, Passed Away


Biquette, which is actually French for “goat,” was 10 years old, according to Flo. She’d spent the first half of her life in a milking factory, and was then handed over to the farm, where she immediately started to hang out at the shows. “Seeing as the barn floor where we throw the concerts is wooden, I think that she felt the vibrations in her hooves,” Flo said. Flo added that the goat really enjoyed any settings with lots of people, and would hang out whenever there was a gathering.

Wormrot’s manager said that Biquette was very tame, and followed the Maylaysian grindcore band around like a dog. “When it was Wormrot’s turn to play, the goat suddenly went in front of the crowd and watched them play the whole set,” Azean Rot said. “It was just chilling around the corner when other bands were playing.”


And grindcore wasn’t Biquette’s only vice. Flo told Noisey that she loved tobacco and alcohol, which might have even contributed to her early demise. While they obviously wouldn’t feed the goat that stuff, she would eat cigarette butts from ashtrays and even try to take lit cigarettes from people smoking.  And she would try to consume paint and oil as well. However, Flo thinks Biquette might have passed away from a complete cleaning of the farm, along with a regime change of people. But apparently, she should have lived for another ten years. Rest In Peace, Biquette. You lived as you died – the most metal goat ever. If you want to leave your condolences, you can do it on Biguette’s Facebook page. Yes, the goat had a Facebook page. – Metal Insider

wormrotgoat1-300x300I’ve never wanted to meet a goat as much as I want to meet Biquette. Unfortunately for the metal world she has passed away. A Goat who sat front row to everyone of her favorite shows. A Goat who liked to party as much as the next metal loving goat. Eating cigarettes and drinking oil might have been the reason she passed, but that is the kinda goat Biquette was. She didn’t give a fuck about norms and did what she wanted, and there is nothing more “metal” than that.


The 22 Jump Street Red Band Trailer is Here

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pumped for this movie. I never gave the original one a chance until I had nothing else to do on a random night and watched it on HBO. I’ve now watched 21 Jump Street 15 times! Not really, but it was hysterical, and I expect 22 Jump Street to be just as good. Fingers crossed for another miracle Johnny Depp cameo.

– Ryan

‘The Hoover Boys’ are America’s Next Great Vacuum Cleaner Band

These guys may have hit the niche market everyone has been so desperately praying for, vacuum cleaner bands. There is no doubt in my mind that these guys will be the next big thing in America. Billboards, trading cards, t shirts, you name it, these guys are going to do it. Not to mention there is huge potential for jokes (These guys don’t SUCK, their vacuums do!). I can only assume that Tulips from Amsterdam is the single off of there album. It just has that “I could see this playing on the radio” type of vibe.


Ryan’s Even Better Music Monday – Mumford & Sons – Hopeless Wanderer Parody

This is easily the funniest and most disturbing music video you’ll ever see. Anytime you can get Ed Helms, Jason Sudekis, Jason Bateman and Will Forte on the same stage, you get a certain kind of magic. The best part about this video is how similar it is to an actual Mumford & Sons music video (minus the making out). Speaking of the french kiss sequence, if it’s wrong to watch Jaaon Sudekis and Will Forte make out, then I don’t wanna be right.

– Ryan

P.S. Proof positive that Will Forte is so underrated it hurts. MacGruber has it.

P.P.S. Mumford & Sons actually hired Sudekis, Forte, Helms and Bateman to impersonate them. All kinds of awesome.

I Need Jim Peterik To Sing “Eye Of The Tiger” Everywhere I Go

Does Jim Peterik bring his guitar and fantastic tight white pants everywhere he goes? I hope so. And I hope he’s available this Saturday for funky butt Matt’s birthday extravaganza. Better yet, I need him to follow me around where ever I go. Maybe I’m having bad day, work is busy and I burned the roof of mouth on some canned soup. Jim is there to save the day and give me the motivation to go on. At this point, I’m really banking on him being financially secure. Wherever I go, money doesn’t exactly follow. He’s going to have to accept an unnecessary amount of Busch Light and a few burnt hamburgers as payment.

– Ryan

I May Have Just Found The Newest Pop Sensation

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but when I retire from the force I may have a second career in the musical industry. If I’m able to find a band with as much talent as these three, then I have to believe that the sky’s the limit. As far as the three blind mice go, their passion for music comes right through the screen. No fans? No problem. No venue? Don’t need it. Get these guys an open field and a shit ton of cows and you have the equivalent of The Rolling Stones in the 70’s. You know you’re good when you don’t even incorporate any words into your songs. All they need is a drum set, a couple of saxophones and the combined musical talents that literally make animals run for their lives.

– Ryan

P.S. Get me that that saxophone player on the left’s shirt. It’s still 1960 to him god dammit.

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