Have you ever wanted a banana slicer? Of course you have. But just like any other necessary product, it’s important to read the reviews before you make that $2.51 purchase. While all the reviews are excellent, here are my top five:
Subject: No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I’ll call it South Side Story.
Banana slicer…thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.
Subject: Saved my marriage
What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone…. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices. It’s one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old “I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?” and of course, “You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!” These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That’s when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!
Subject: Kirk Cameron’s Banana Slicer
If God does not exist, then how is it that a banana fits so perfectly in this banana slicer? CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!
Subject: Such a time saver
No more throwing bananas at the ceiling fan for me! This product has saved me the work of peeling the banana slices off the wall after the fan slices them. Thanks, banana slicer!
Subject: Game changer
My entire life I would simply chew bananas through the skin and then spit out the skin after each bite… until I received this item. This product made me realize that I was doing it all wrong. When I found out that the banana slicer wouldn’t cut through the skin, I was puzzled and looked at pictures of the Hutzler 571 online. I then discovered that bananas could be peeled and had to be before using this product. Now that I’ve discovered this, I haven’t been using the banana slicer as much as I find a knife faster to use and easier to clean up.
Lesson here: if you need a banana slicer, it’s the Hutzler 571 or bust. Amazon reviews don’t lie.
Thanks to Holly for the tip.