Blog Archives
Jimmy Kimmel & Kanye Squash the Beef
This honestly gave me a lot more respect for Kanye. Still hate Kim though.
-MattyV
If at First You Don’t Succeed, Bang Another Pro Athlete
Former USC basketball star Brynn Cameron, who you might know as NFL QB (Can we still call him that) Matt Leinart’s baby mama, just spit out another kid with another dad!. The dad being none other than NBA superstar dunker, Blake Griffin!
I see what you did there, Brynn. Matt Leinart’s time in the spotlight is over and it was time for you to move on to greener pastures. The ultimate power move if I ever saw one. Getting two different child support checks from two rich athletes? Brynn, you sly fox…and she is a FOX. Woof.
-MattyV
Monster Blog – Royal Baby Name Central
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! This royal baby nonsense has gone on far enough, and it’s time for the Average Nobodies to put our classy touch on the birth of the century. Here’s what we know, the baby is a boy…and that’s about it. So here are our top names we think Kate and Will should consider naming their little bundle of joy.
Prince Indiana Jones of Cambridge
Right out the gate this kid is going to be a stud, I can feel it. I mean come on, look at his mom, dad, aunt, and uncle. This royal offspring is swimming in good genes, i actually haven’t seen this good a gene pool since the Mannings and the Baldwins. To complement this kids deadly charm he needs to have a dynamite name. Prince Indy will be all the rage 20-something years from now. Named after one of the greatest humans to ever live, Prince Indiana will pick off where Harrison Ford left off, kicking ass and discovering ancient artifacts. Not to mention he will have good ‘ol Uncle Harry to come along on all of his adventures.
-MattyV
PS- Or we could go with Charlie Daniel’s suggestion
How about naming the royal baby Bubba.
— Charlie Daniels (@CharlieDaniels) July 23, 2013
Captain Jacob Van Loon of Cambridge
I like to picture the royal baby as a infant super villain. From day one he’s a terror for both William and Kate. He refuses to be another pawn in their royal power game, and at age 18, he runs away from home. No one hears from Captain Jacob until a few years later, when he battles his father for the title of undisputed ruler of England. Of course the English version of a power struggle will probably be a fencing match or who can eat the most crumpets in one sitting. Either way, Captain Jacob is going to be one bad ass baby.
P.S. I know the baby’s official title will be prince, but no self respecting villain can call themself a prince. Plus, if Jacob and William are ever on a boat, Jacob will be in charge. There is no higher authority on a boat then a captain.
– Ryan
It’s A Boy…
..ok, are we done with this shit yet?
-MattyV
PS- I can finally sleep at night
Some Tweets About it…
It’s a boy. Where’s Rafiki to hold him up for the world to see? #RoyalBaby
— Scar (@GrumpyScar) July 22, 2013
BREAKING: Antonio Cromartie vehemently denies being the father of the #RoyalBaby
— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) July 22, 2013
#RoyalBabyNames Metälstørm
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 22, 2013
I’ll pay good money if they name the Royal Baby Royal.
— Jeff Daniels (@Jeff_Daniels) July 22, 2013
London Must Be The Most Boring Place On The Planet
LONDON, July 17 (UPI) — Margaret Rhodes, British Queen Elizabeth II’s first cousin, says she “is not terribly” excited about the impending birth of Prince William‘s first child. Rhodes made the comment when CNN’s Christiane Amanpour asked her this week if she is excited about the new addition to the royal family. “Not terribly,” she laughed. “Well, you know, everybody has babies, and it’s lovely. I don’t get wildly excited about it.” “Really?” Amanpour asked. “Not even for the next heir to the throne? History?” “Yes, all right, I’m prepared to be excited,” Rhodes said. William’s wife Kate Middleton reportedly was due to give birth to their first child July 11, but the palace hasn’t confirmed her due date and the baby has yet to arrive. NBC News said Middleton’s mom, Carole, has told friends the child will be a Leo, an astrological sign whose dates don’t begin until July 23. Middleton also has been spending time at her parents’ country house — miles from the London hospital where she intends to give birth — suggesting she’s not expecting her baby until next week, Zap2it.com said. William is the queen’s grandson. – UPI.com
In the US THIS WEEK we had a murder trial that exposed the major flaws in our justice system, a TV star overdosed on heroin and heated abortion debates are consuming one of our largest states. None of those stories compare to the bombshell coming out of London, England this morning. The Queen’s first cousin “isn’t terribly excited” about the birth of Prince Williams baby. The balls on this lady. Comments like this will surely rock the country of England to it’s very core. How boring must it be to live in London? I know America is insane and we’re guilty of shining the spotlight on all of the wrong people and things, but at least we’re not boring. Fatally flawed, yes. But not boring. Meanwhile everyone in London is walking around with umbrella’s talking about how the Queen’s first cousin couldn’t give two shits about the birth of a royal baby. Hey lady, stick to tea, crumpets and cricket. That’s the English way.
– Ryan
P.S. It’s always bothered me that the English put the word “terribly” in front of the word “excited”. Are you bad at being excited? Get your shit together and butcher the language like an American.
