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And Now, A Video Of A Baby Wearing Glasses For The First Time

God damn onions all over my office. Every time I watch this video somebody starts cutting onions. Maybe they’re making some kind of soup. Anyways, I dare you to watch this video and not smile. This baby is extremely far sighted, and this is the first time she wore glasses, which means it’s the first time she was able to see clearly. Babies for the win.

– Ryan

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Nothing Like Watching A 20 Month Old Baby Climb A Rock Wall To Make You Feel Like A Lump Of Shit

I say this with as little sarcasm as possible: watching this 20 month old baby climb a rock wall really makes me question my athleticism. I’m pretty sure I could do this, but that’s really not the point. A 20 month old baby can do this, so a 27 year old fully grown male doing the same thing isn’t really that impressive. The fact that I have to think twice about whether or not I can do this is hands down one of the saddest moments of my life. Congrats to this overachiever, but maybe slip up a bit to make the rest of us feel better.

– Ryan

Insane Instagram Comments – Mickie James

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Not even, poor, defenseless babies are safe in the world of insane Instagram comments! Clearly an aggressive move by day_nizzle13. I mean, come on, is that really necessary? Do you really need to comment on a new mothers Instagram account, in all capital letters, “LET ME SEE HIS DICK”? No, the answer is no, and it will always be “no”. There is no situation where a comment like this is warranted. Day_nizzle13, throttle back just a little bit, you don’t want to be that guy. You don’t want to be the guy asking to see baby dicks on Instagram. It’s not a good look for you, or anyone. If there was ever a time for Instagram to hit the self destruct button on an account, it’s now.

-Matt

The Internet Has Finally Gone Insane – People Are Losing Their Over Ryan Gosling’s And Eva Mendes’s Potential Baby

StopThis baby’s sure to be a DNA darling.

Smoldering Eva Mendes and Hollywood hottie Ryan Gosling are the latest couple to jump on the baby bandwagon.

Gosling, 33, and Mendes, 40, who have been dating since 2011, somehow managed to keep her pregnancy a secret until the seventh month, reports said Thursday.

Now the Internet has gone crazy trying to picture the offspring of two of the most genetically blessed people on the planet. The little Mosling is sure to come out a winner either way: His Canadian-born daddy’s got striking blue eyes and clean-cut blond good looks. And his mom is a sexy Latina stunner from Florida with glowing skin, great hair and a heart-shaped face.

The couple has yet to officially confirm they’re expecting a love child, a story first reported by OK! magazine.

 

This is the point we’ll look back on and realize things changed. This is the point when the internet literally went insane. Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are reportedly having a baby together. They didn’t invent flying cars. They didn’t go on a Bonnie & Clyde type murder spree. They are having a baby. One of the most normal things a couple can do. And people are literally losing their shit over it.

 

These are two human beings have a baby. If you want a gauge on how fucking crazy people are, just search “Ryan Gosling baby” on Twitter. It’s frightening, disturbing, but mostly just really sad. I love the internet. But I hate it so much more. Also, in case you didn’t feel like sleeping tonight, here’s what their baby might look like. For the love Bill Paxton, please stop.

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– Ryan

I Discovered Baby Goats Screaming Videos on YouTube and Now I Don’t Ever Want to Do Anything Else But Watch Them

Are other people aware that baby goats scream like humans? I have to think they’re not because I would hope someone would have brought this to my attention if they were aware of this phenomenon. I was shown this video last night and now all I want to do is watch videos of baby goats scream like human beings. I was 99% of the way to calling out of work and just eating sunflower seeds all day and watching these videos. That’s my new life goal: be a baby goat aficionado. Dream big, Ryan. Dream big.

– Ryan

So Bill Clinton is Going to Be the Coolest Grandfather of All Time

What a lucky baby. On the one hand half of this baby’s genes are going to make him/her look like Chelsea Clinton, but on the other hand your grandfather is Bill Clinton. Some baby’s just have all the luck. The stories this kid is going to hear will be legendary. Any time you have the opportunity to be born into a presidential family you have to take it. I feel like the book Oh, The Places You’ll Go was written specifically for this baby. Dr. Seuss knew one day Chelsea Clinton would have a baby and that baby would have Bill Clinton as a grandpa to take it around on a magical ride. My life has now reached a point to where I’m jealous of an unborn baby.

– Ryan

Beck Bennett’s “Baby Boss” Skit Is Back For Round 2 and It Was Great

The one thing I always wished Lorne Michaels added to SNL was who created and wrote the sketches. I don’t know how he’d do this but I’ve always wanted to know, and this rings true for the “Baby Boss” sketch as well. I have to imagine the sketch idea was created by Beck Bennett, unless one of the writers has ESP and just knew he could play a perfect baby. Whether you like this sketch or not, there is no denying that Beck Bennett has perfect the mannerisms of a baby. Playing with his feet, trying to walk, smacking his hands together. I’m glad this is turning into a semi returning sketch, because the possibilities are literally endless for this kind of character.

– Ryan

I Just Found the Songbird of the Next Generation

Look I don’t know much. I floated through school, and I’d much rather drink a beer than read a book. With that said, I do recognize talent. This baby might not be able to speak or walk, but it will become the next big thing. That’s what happens when you watch footage of the greatest performer/ man with the best mustache ever. If there’s one person who’s life path I’d wish to follow it’s Freddie. Just a flawless, mistake free life in the fast lane. I never thought I’d be jealous of a baby, but I guess that’s what YouTube is for: to make me jealous of a person who literally shits their pants all day.

– Ryan

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