KK – Forget about that $425,000 Neiman Marcus Oscars package that one lonely soul can purchase for himself while helping a charity this holiday season, because the folks at the adult comedy web series Get Sexxx Tonight want to send you to an earlier awards ceremony for free. One lucky winner gets to attend the 2015 AVN Awards in Las Vegas on January 24, except he or she will not be alone. Instead, that person will get to claim the title of “Kayden’s Arm Candy,” as he’ll get to walk the red carpet with Kayden Kross, one of the biggest stars in adult film history and the host of Get Sexx Tonight, which she calls “The Daily Show on Viagra.” (I’m told that she’s a big star by people who actually watch these movies, as I am a pure angel. Kayden who? Haha, nobody is the wiser.)

In addition to that already incredible honor, the winner will also enjoy the following perks (pun certainly intended):

• You’ll mingle with the superstars of adult entertainment.

• You’ll pose for pictures with the sexiest girl… AND lots of Kayden’s friends, too.

• You’ll be the envy of every guy you know! (or girl.)

• You’ll have stories to tell for the rest of your life.

• You’ll have seats up close for the award show, too.

• And who knows? You just might get lucky @ the after-party!

This is probably the greatest contest of all time. Adult film actors generally seem like some of the most down to earth people out there, because there job only requires them to have sex all day. That’s it. Show up, have sex, leave. Add in the fact that you have a 1 million percent chance of getting laid by a porn star and you have the perfect contest. The best part is that “getting laid at the after party” is an actual selling point. My envy for whoever wins this contest is unmatched. Also, Kayden Kross is such an underrated porn name. Double K’s is a savage move.

– Ryan