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This Australian Guy Is Playing Tug Of War With A SHARK Like It’s No Big Deal

This man.  Show no fear, for fear shall get you killed.  This guy was pissed that the shark had it’s net, and he showed him.  There was no way that a shark was fucking with this guy today, or it seems, any day for that matter. Australians are a different breed, and I think a lot of that has to do with the insane animals they deal with on a daily basis. If I went fishing this afternoon I might run into some medium sized fish. Maybe a crab or a jellyfish. In Australia, you run into an enormous shark. If you’re not ready to fight a shark on a Friday afternoon, then you better get your ass out of the water in Australia.

On a ego system note, do you think the shark felt the pain?

~ The Doctah

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Sam Smith & His Precious Baby Turtle Throat Are Back!

Reaction GIF: whoa, excited, wrestling

Sam Smith has been out of action with some kind of throat illness, and I’ve been silently wallowing in a Olympic sized swimming pool of sadness ever since. Well it looks like things are turning around for ol’ Sammy, because he just announced he’s coming to Australia in November and December, as Australian fans were the unfortunate victims of his illness when he canceled his tour there. I got to see him live at MSG in New York, and he was incredible, so if he’s coming to a city or continent near you and you enjoy live music you should go out of your way to see him.

– Ryan

This is Why I’m Never Going to Australia

badger

I don’t care if Australia invents gold coins that you can simultaneously eat and buy stuff with, I’m never going there. If that bird ever attacked me I would sincerely never leave the house again. I’d build a bubble or use Australia’s version of pea pod and just become a hermit. That is legitimately frightening stuff. The bird takeover has begun.

-Ryan

Nobody Touches Sarah Hyland and Gets Away With It

SourceSarah Hyland fled a Modern Family party in tears on Thursday night after she was allegedly indecently assaulted by a fan.

The 23-year-old actress had been posing with fans outside the Modern Family party hosted by Qantas at The Sebel Pier One in Sydney, Australia, when the incident occurred.

Sarah was left in floods of tears when a male fan who asked her for a photograph grabbed her breast, according to reports.

You stupid son of a bitch. I don’t know your name but welcome to Hell, because that’s what your life is now going to be. Pure Hell. On a serious note, really? So now actresses can’t even pose with fans? This guy probably hasn’t touched a breast since the Clinton administration but that’s no excuse to violate poor Sarah Hyland. If you’re really in need for some lovin’ buy a laptop and subscribe to one of those sex webcam sites. Don’t go out in public and ruin everyone’s night. May God help you when Phil Dunphy finds out. Then it’s lights out for Chester for the Molester.

– Ryan

There is No Such Thing as a Free Vacation to Canada

“If it’s too good to be true, it probably is,” goes the old saying. Apparently that goes double for “free” vacations.

Just ask an unnamed couple from Australia, who believed they’d won an all-expenses-paid trip to Canada — complete with free luggage — but unwittingly became drug mules instead. When they returned from a seven-day vacation in the Great White North on Oct. 13, the couple, a 72-year-old man and 64-year-old woman, approached customs officials in Perth, Australia, over concerns they had with their new bags.

Australian Federal Police examined the luggage and found 3.5 kilograms (7.7 pounds) of methamphetamine stashed in the lining of each bag, worth an estimated total of $7 million dollars. Perth Now reports the couple had apparently been scammed by “AusCan Tours,” a fake Canadian travel agency that lured them into entering an online competition. They were contacted by the agency afterward with the good news that the pair had won a free vacation. – HuffPost

Well, you know what they say…don’t accept a free vacation to Canada unless you’re willing to peddle 7.7 pounds of meth across international boarders. “Too good to be true” is not the adage I would have used for this situation. A free trip to Canada, you say? As soon as I read this I knew these people must have been either elderly or from somewhere other than North America. Oh, look at that, this couple is both! Because there is no way someone gets that jazzed up about visiting Canada, unless they are from another country….or are senior citizens.

-MattyV

cruise to canada

PS- I’ve been to Canada once. It was on a cruise, and my buddies and I got off the boat to go to a strip club. We found out it was closed (at 11:00am) and got back on the boat and never returned.

A-Rod and Animal Abusers Move Over, I have an Undying Hate For Someone Else

0b7a69aa0159fb1c3a0f6a706700a54e090707--300x300OKLAHOMA CITY — An Australian man attending an Oklahoma college on a baseball scholarship was shot and killed in what police described Monday as a random act of violence by three “bored” teenagers who decided to kill someone for the fun of it.

Christopher Lane, 22, of Melbourne, was found dead Friday while visiting the town of Duncan, where his girlfriend and her family live. Three boys, ages 15, 16, and 17, are in custody and face a court appearance Tuesday afternoon.

Duncan Police Chief Danny Ford said Monday a woman called 911 after she saw Lane stagger across the road and fall to the ground in the south-central Oklahoma town of about 24,000 residents. Ford said Lane, who was staying with his girlfriend and her family in Duncan, had jogged past a home where the three boys were staying. He said the shooting appeared to be completely random.

Autopsy results are pending. Ford wouldn’t say how many times Lane was shot.

Ford said the 17-year-old has given a detailed confession to police but that investigators have not been able to locate the weapon.

“They saw Christopher go by, and one of them said: ‘There’s our target,'” Ford said. “The boy who has talked to us said: ‘We were bored and didn’t have anything to do, so we decided to kill somebody.'”

“They followed him in the car to that area, shot him in the back and drove off,” Ford said.

Ford told the television station KOCO in Oklahoma City that one of the teens said they shot Lane for “the fun of it.”

He said the district attorney is expected to file first-degree murder charges Tuesday, and all three will be arraigned at Stephens County District Court. It wasn’t known whether the three will be charged as adults or as juveniles. -ESPN

Thank god for Oklahoma having capital punishment. When i’m bored I take out a video game, I whip out the old sketch book, or hell, I’ll even visit the spank bank. Want to know what I don’t do? Go out and kill innocent people, but maybe it was just how I was raised. When I was young my dad (Happy Birthday old man!) always told me that I shouldn’t have my elbows on the table while i’m eating and that I should never go out and shoot people when i’m bored. Those two things go together like lamb and tuna fish. Chis Lane, a 22 year-old college student had his life cut short after these 3 morons (I will refrain from the words I would normally use because I have fucking taste) went out and killed him, because they “didn’t have anything to do”. Hey guys, I don’t have anything to do tomorrow after work, mind if I come by and take your head off with a baseball bat? It’s a damn shame that people like this exist.

R.I.P Chris.

 

-MattyV

 

PS- I am not one to glorify killers (i’m not the rolling stone), but these kids <sarcasm> are doing wonders for stereotypes. </sarcasm>

 

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