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Don Harris Has Finally Hit The ‘I Don’t Give A Shit Anymore’ Age

DonThe leader of the NAACP in Phoenix hopes his community takes a stand against racism, but is now under fire himself after he had no problem making a sexist comment about a reporter.

Don Harris, president of the civil rights organization’s Maricopa County chapter, was speaking about reaction to six girls spelling the N-word on their shirts at a local high school when he said “nice t–s” to a female reporter.

When a bunch of white people mess up and do something racist, it’s normal for the local NAACP chapter leader to talk to the media about how ignorant and dumb white people are. And then there’s Don Harris. Don skipped that part and decided to go as rogue as one can go. Not only did he tell the female reporter she had ‘nice tits’, as quoted above, but he also offered one of the most bizarre apologies in the history of the world.

Harris’s outburst was followed by a bizarre mea culpa from the former lawyer, who told the Times, “I apologize if anyone was offended. I could have said nothing . . . I’m really f—ing sorry.”

“I’m going to slash my wrists,” the 77-year-old, who is white and in his second year as NAACP leader, said in response to a question about fighting sexism.

“Better yet, I’m going to throw myself out of a f—ing window, except I’m on the first floor . . . I’m one of the best goddamned people in the state.”

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First question – why is a white guy the leader of any NAACP organization? Seems counter productive. Two – why is a SEVENTY SEVEN year old white guy the leader of anything? There is no demographic more unstable than old white people. They just don’t care about anything. They’ve seen a lot of shit, and are so stuck in their ways it’s infuriating. I love my grandmother, but I would not put her in charge of bringing napkins to a birthday party, never mind leading the NAACP. Just look at Don Harris’s apology if you don’t believe me. He threatens suicide by saying he’s going to jump out a window, takes it back because he realizes he’s on the first floor, then says he’s one of the best goddamn people in the state. All in a matter of a sentence. You know who says stuff like that? Crazy people. Whoever put Don Harris in a position of power needs to seriously reexamine their strategic thinking skills, and maybe get him out of the spotlight forever.

-Ryan

Steven Segal and His Fists of Fury Might Run For Governor of Arizona

Oh good. This is just what we need. Steven Segal and his velcro facial hair making an even bigger mockery of our political system. It seems like his main and only agenda item is border control. Having a delusional movie star running for major political office is worse than illegal immigrants trying to get into our country. Steven Segal needs to stick to slap dancing in the streets of Russia. Hit the music!

– Ryan

Anthony Weiner, Cornering The Market In Awesome Aliases

mayor-anthony-weiner-it-could-happenIt was bound to happen sooner or later: An anonymous woman has claimed to the Arizona-based gossip and nudies site The Dirty that she carried on an explicit online affair with mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner — after he was busted and forced to resign from Congress for the exact same thing. “She was lured by Anthony Weiner post scandal via Facebook,” wrote the site’s editor Nik Ritchie yesterday. “They had a relationship for 6 months and she believed they were in love … The relationship consisted of Anthony Weiner and Anonymous sending sexually explicit pictures of each other and having sexual conversations via phone. The best part was Anthony used an alias this time thinking this would protect him. Anthony Weiner used the name ‘Carlos Danger’ when he would email pictures of his penis via Yahoo.” -NYMag.com

Anthony Weiner is at it again, but hold on one HOT SECOND. Carlos Danger? Really. That’s the name you’re going with? All this time I thought Anthony Weiner was just a dick pic machine, but now I know for sure……that he is also a genius! What an Alias! I wish I had gotten to it sooner. Back in the day, when you tried to impress all your friends with clever AIM names, this one would have killed it! All the girlies would have been crawling all over my AIM profile.

Ok, so Weiner not only gets right back on the sexting express (NSFW) but his defense is totally weak. “I said that other texts and photos were likely to come out, and today they have.”  That’s all you got, Weiner? I’ll remember that next time I go on a dick pic killing spree, or any other other crime wave. “I told you, officer, that I might rob another liquor store, and today I have. That”s all on you.” Not exactly somehting that will stand up in court. At least not in Rhode Island….cough cough….i’m looking at you Florida.

-MattyV

PS- This is isn’t the last time we will hear about Anthony Weiner’s Dick. Mark my words.

PSS- This is what I imagine Carlos Danger looks like (Via Twitter)

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I’m Ready For The Badwater Ultramarathon

“AdventureCORPS, Inc., an event production firm specializing in ultra-endurance and extreme sports events, hosts BADWATER® 135 annually in July of each year. Recognized globally as “the world’s toughest foot race,” this legendary event pits up to 100 of the world’s toughest athletes—runners, triathletes, adventure racers, and mountaineers—against one another and the elements. Covering 135 miles (217km) non-stop from Death Valley to Mt. Whitney, CA in temperatures up to 130F (55c), it is the most demanding and extreme running race offered anywhere on the planet. The 36th anniversary edition is July 15-17, 2013.” – badwater.com

Not bad. Little 135 mile race through Death Valley to get the blood flowing. Here’s the route these psychopath’s take:
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I got tired just trying to figure out where the beginning and end of the route was. Anytime you see the words “Death Valley” in the middle of your running route I think you should just pack up your things, go home and count it as a loss. According to the official website, one of the main symptoms participants experience is chronic back fatigue. You don’t say. You mean running 135 miles over 48 hours in 130 degree heat isn’t good for the back?

Here’s an example of the beautiful landscape the runner’s get to experience:
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Gorgeous right? Except the fact that you’re basically trying to complete a death march. You could project a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on in the sky for the entire race and that still wouldn’t change the fact that I’m making the worst decision of my life.

To the legitimately insane people who complete, or even attempt this race: bravo. Give me a 48 hour heads up before you snap and start trying to rob liquor stores with rubber duckies.Because it’s going to happen.

– Ryan

P.S. This guy finished the ultramarathon with a prosthetic leg. Enjoy your hour of cardio on the treadmill this weekend you two legged freaks.

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