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The Doctah – If Only Barry Bonds Would Have Known

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So Alex Rodriguez, former shortstop for the Seattle Mariners, is in a lot of trouble as the New York Yankee’s third basemen, for taking synthesized supplements. Barry Bonds broke the record for home runs, but he took STEROIDS, so it doesn’t count.

If only they would have known what they were putting in their body. HGH is human growth hormone. They synthesize this hormone, mix it with some chemicals, and sell it legally as HGH. Athletes, like Barry Bonds, take HGH, or Steroids to up their testerone and boost their ability. However, this sh*t (and I say shit in every literal sense of the word) that they put in their bodies is derived from food. Yes, food. No, not POPTARTS. FOOD, as in superfoods.

Now if they ate these superfoods, they might actually have been able toUnknown play the game of baseball with no associated drama. These foods are specifically CHIA SEEDS. Yes, Chia, the shit you used to watch grow right before your very eyes. Think about it, the prefix “CHI” means life force energy. So “Chi-a” … means … life force energy in something. Hmmm? So these foods contain more HGH than steroids in just a teaspoon. AND you can eat them all day long.

EAT THEM, watch your body grow. COUGH COUGH, this may benefit a

handful of you. You can google it because google will tell you more than the JobsStein Monster, but you should educate yourself.

Oh, and if you have Barry Bonds’s number, call him, tell him, it could of all been avoided.

Sincerely,

The Doctah

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Another One Bites the Dust: Alex Morgan is Engaged

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I learned a long time ago that unless I want my kids physical peak to be an outfielder in men’s league softball I’d have to marry someone with some athletic ability. Alex Morgan was always on the top of that list. She’s a bonafide 10, and I looked forward to all the ketchup fights we were going to have together. Then she goes and gets engaged and completely pulls the rug out from under me. Coming out of left field with this longtime boyfriend/engagement crap. I guess my dreams of marrying an Olympic athlete will have to be put on hold a bit longer. Oh and Servando, if that is your real name, I have a little message for you..

-Ryan

Twitter News Weekly – Vol 2

-MattyV & Ryanfoges

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