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Hey Mike Jeffries, You’re Scaring the Kids!

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Mike Jeffries has a face like a road that needs paving. You’re scaring the kids buddy!

– The Average Nobodies

Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries Should Look in the Mirror Before He Starts Calling People Fat

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According to the NY Post, Mike Jeffries will stay on as CEO of Abercrombie for at least one more year. He’ll also be getting paid a fat (no pun intended) 7 figure salary. Apparently Abercrombie supports the views of Jeffries, because you don’t hand out millions of dollars to people whose views you disagree with. The move is baffling, but I’ll save that story for another day. What I do want to talk about is the face of Mike Jeffries. He’s on the record basically saying he only wants cool, in shape kids wearing Abercrombie clothes. The fact that a 69 year old is saying this is weird enough, but when you add in the fact that his face looks like an old catchers mitt, the story takes a hysterical turn. Mike Jeffries really has the balls to tell fat people that they can’t wear Abercrombie clothes?

Shame on you! You’d think someone who looks like that would try and shy away from the spotlight. Not Mike Jeffries. He trots his Rocky Dennis face and big fat lips out into the limelight and expects people to take him seriously. It’s weird enough that you’re 69 and obsessed with teenagers washboard abs. But next time your out in public or you feel the need to spew your warped views on who should wear your clothes onto the public, do everybody a favor and wear a ski mask. Ain’t nobody got time for that face!

– Ryan

P.S. I guess I’m considered fat by Mike Jeffries standards. I’m also a grown man and don’t want wear Abercrombie, but that’s besides the point. Abercrombie, you just lost the business of a customer who makes in or around $25,000 a year. Good luck replacing that.

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