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Happy Birthday to The Hoff, David Hasselhoff

A lot of people would put the drunk cheeseburger video on here to make fun of The Hoff, but not me. I mean who hasn’t eaten a cheeseburger off the floor in a drunken stupor before? I’ve done worse things. Horrible, unexplainable things. Anyway, today is the The Hoff’s birthday, so today we celebrate. How many German girls do you think he’s getting with tonight? I’m put the over/under at 73.

– Ryan

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Stupid Sayings – I Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass

Why would you? Stupid saying.

– The Average Nobodies

Wolfgang Bosbach’s Humble Brag Move in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Blew Up in His Face

WolfA friend of German Chancellor Angela Merkel phoned her during the country’s version of “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”, only to get the leader’s voicemail – twice.

Wolfgang Bosbach , a member of Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats, made the calls as part of the “phone-a-friend” lifeline of the show, but had no luck.

He was trying to get Merkel, who has been Germany’s head of state since 2005, to answer a question about an East German washing machine.

Merkel grew up in the German Democratic Republic, which was part of the Soviet Union.

The question was what made the East German WM66 washing machine legendary. The answer was because people used it to stew fruit.

Bosbach would have won almost $700,000 for charitable causes if he had got the question right.

Instead, he decided to quit on $170,000.

Shame

Shame on you, Wolfgang. The number one rule of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is don’t count your chickens before  they’re hatched. So you get a question that you don’t know, and elect to use your “phone a friend” lifeline. Who do you call? The most important/busiest person in your entire country. Suave move. I’m sure she’s sitting at home eating whatever German people eat just waiting for your call. Not only did you let me down, but you let down the great people of Germany. This should be a lesson to all those people out there who think Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is such an easy game: if you fail to prepare, prepare to fail. On a side note, Wolfgang is an unbelievably badass name and I wish my mom named me that.

– Ryan

Charlize Theron’s SNL Promo’s Are Here & Man Is She Gorgeous

It’s an undeniable fact that Charlize Theron is gorgeous, but she kind of sneaks under the radar sometimes. Whenever these beautiful people lists come up she never seems to float to the top but she absolutely should. Short hair, long hair, no hair. She’s just got that face that makes you forget where the hell you are. As far as hosting SNL, this is her second time, with the first being way back in the year 2000. She’s a pro, so I can’t see her flopping, and with her there promoting A Million Ways To Die in the West, I’m hoping for a cameo or two from some of her co stars. Seth Macfarlane? NPH? Liam Neeson? Maybe even her new lover Sean Penn? Possiblities are endless. The Black Keys doing the singing is just a major bonus. I can’t wait for Saturday night.

– Ryan

Devin Brugman’s Instagram Was a Flurry of Emotion Last Night

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What a flurry of emotion. Devin Brugman’s instagram is the ideal place to feed creeps and weirdo. Granted I follow her so I’m not sure what that says about me. This is also a good time to point out that people who comment “first like” on instagram are the worst people in the world. Do you want a a medal or a prize? Go out and experience some human interaction. And Devin Brugmam, I’ll be in Austin, Texas until Wednesday if you finally come to your senses and want to hang out.

– Ryan

The Daily Breeze Did Not Think This Headline Through

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Not the brightest idea to phrase the headline like that. The Daily Breeze just had to get tricky with this. Couldn’t of went with “12 Years a Slave Triumphs” or “Emotional Win for Best Picture” or pretty much anything besides “‘Slave’ becomes master”. At least this headline can’t be read by the entire world. Oh wait…

– Ryan

Photo via UPROXX.com

Do Yourself a Favor and Watch ‘Confessions of a Superhero’ On Netflix

‘Confessions of a Superhero’ is a 2007 documentary that follows around 4 fame obsessed hopefuls as they dress up as various superheroes (Hulk, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman) in LA waiting to be noticed. I fully expected this film to be depressing, but it was actually fascinating. Living in Rhode Island you don’t see many fame hungry people, but this film opens your eyes to alarming number of people moving to Hollywood in search of celebrity. Although this film is 6 years old, it addresses a big problem in our culture: the new generations of kids don’t want to be doctors or teachers; they want to be athletes or musicians or actors. When those kids fail at Plan A, Plan B is sometimes to scary to watch. Do yourself a favor and witness the madness in ‘Confessions of a Superhero’.

– Ryan

Monsterblog Wednesday – If You Had to Watch One Movie For the Rest of Your Life…

A Bronx Tale

While I always go with Clooney in pretty much any hypothetical situation, I had to switch things up for this monster blog. Before Tony Soprano landed on our TV sets, there was Sonny. Sonny was a mobster, and Sonny was cool. A Bronx Tale, for those who haven’t seen it, follows C, a young Bronx boy who has to decide between a life of crime with mobster Sonny or follow in his father’s footsteps and make an honest living. The icing on the cake? Bobby De Niro stars as C’s father, and he directs the movie. Watch this movie and tell me it doesn’t have the greatest soundtrack of all-time. I DARE YOU. Also, it provides us with one of the greatest quotes in movie history: “the saddest thing in life is wasted talent”.

– Ryan

Armageddon

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NO question in my mind. This was probably the easiest choice I have ever made. Affleck, Willis, Tyler, Wilson, Duncan (RIP), Thornton, Buscemi, fitchner…and the list goes on! Star studded cast? Check! Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck saving mankind? Check! Romantic love story? Check! Uber emotional ending that I don’t cry at every time? Check! On my death bed i’m going to rip my hospital tag off my wrist and scream “GIVE THIS TO TRUMAN! MAKE SURE TRUMAN GETS THAT!”

-MattyV

What movie would you watch? Comment below!

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