Category Archives: Wrestling
Kevin Owens Joined An Exclusive Club By Beating The Crap Out Of Vince McMahon Last Night #SDLive
First off, what a goddamn segment. For too long Kevin Owens has been screwing around on Smackdown, and even when he was in a feud with someone as great as AJ Styles, it felt like something was missing. After watching this segment, the thing that was missing was the maniacal aggression he showed on the Indies and in NXT. It’s safe to say he’s found that again. Owens will take on Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell, which should be his rebirth, but last night he took out a different McMahon, and in doing so joined an exclusive club of all time superstars.
If you’re interacting with Vince McMahon inside a WWE ring, that’s a good thing 99% of the time. If Vince lets you beats him up AND bloody him, you’re on your way to something special. Stone Cold. The Undertaker. Brock Lesnar. CM Punk. Roman Reigns. That’s just a sample of the guys that have been in the ring with Vince and gotten over, and as Vince ages and falls into that beloved, insane grandpa role, beating him up brings out a sinister side in certain guys. That head butt from Owens was legit, and I like the uniqueness of the beat down. He wasn’t whaling on him with chairs or punching him in the head a bunch of times. One punch, one super kick and one frog splash, plus a tense stare down with Stephanie McMahon did the trick. The key will be for Owens to capitalize on this and make his Hell in a Cell match with Shane a match to remember. Shane O Mac is no stranger to making memorable moments, so that match should be something special.
-Ryan
WWE RAW Review (9/11/17): I Know A Guy
Photo: WWE
Welcome back to the Raw Review, wrestling fans. I took a week off last week as I was away for the Labor Day holiday, and if you didn’t watch last week’s show and need to know one thing, it’s that Braun Strowman is the BEST. This week’s Raw is live from Anaheim, California on the 16th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. September 11th and WWE will always be intertwined in my mind, because WWE held the first large, public event with a Smackdown show on September 13th. It’s almost impossible to ‘get back to normal’ after something like 9/11 happens, but for myself, nothing was more normal than watching Smackdown on a Thursday night, so it helped.
Average Nobodies note: make sure to follow us on Twitter – @averagenobodies and like us on Facebook – Facebook.com/AverageNobodies. We love talking pro wrestling, so you can comment on this post or reach out to us on social media if you want to join the discussion. You can also find all of our wrestling content by clicking the ‘wrestling’ tab under the banner on our home page.
Without further ado, the Raw Review for 9/11/17.
I Know A Guy
Before we get to the past match promo between Roman Reigns and John Cena, I wanted to mention how happy I am that Jason Jordan has been sandwiched into this feud. First off, Raw starting with an actual match for the second week in a row is great. WWE has this dynamic roster that they insist on putting in the ring to talk instead of wrestle and it always bothers me. The talking is good sometimes but the wrestling is almost always good, and tonight was no exception.
Jason Jordan took on Roman Reigns in the show opener to further the Cena/Reigns penis measuring contest, and having Jordan go step for step with Cena and Reigns on back to back shows will do more for Jordan than 1,000 squash matches. Jordan didn’t win either match, but it put him in a position to succeed. Jordan’s best attribute is his wrestling skill, and when you put him in the ring with someone more experienced than him (like Cena & Reigns) it allows him to follow their lead. Jordan’s rolling northern lights Suplex was awesome, and he looked great once again. When you hear people say the result doesn’t matter in wrestling, these are the type of matches they’re talking about. Jordan should have lost because Roman Reigns beats everyone, but he put up a great fight in defeat.
The post match promo between Cena & Reigns was better than last week’s but not as good as their original one. I enjoy when they blur the lines between reality and the TV show, but the reason it works is because they don’t do it that often. This is the second time Cena and Reigns have had this type of exchange, and Miz/Enzo had a similar one later in the show. WWE shouldn’t go to that well too often, because eventually it will lose it’s spark. I did enjoy Reigns’ ‘I know a guy’ line about Cena not cutting it in Hollywood (even though he’s clearly doing fine there) and Cena referencing Reigns’ drug test failure was A+. If this doesn’t end with Reigns ripping Cena’s arms off at No Mercy I’ll be shocked.
#AlexaBlissIsTheBest
Sasha Banks defeated Emma with Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax on commentary, and although Emma lost again, at least she was able to get in some offense. The Fatal Four Way at No Mercy should be aces, and I’m very interested to see how the Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss match goes next week. Nia should be the favorite in any match she’s involved in, but putting her into a multi women match could also be a way for her to not win the title without being involved in the decision. My favorite part of the entire segment was Alexa Bliss “on commentary”. She just sat there and stewed the whole time, because she’s upset Nia finally figured our her plan and that she has to defend her title against three challengers at No Mercy. No one plays their character better than Alexa Bliss.
Braun Strowman, Beast Conqueror
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar came out to do their usual song and dance, which is better than almost anyone else’s song and dance. Heyman is the master at hyping up a big time match by propping up Lesnar’s challenger but also making sure everyone remembers that no matter how good/big/scary Lesnar’s opponent is, Brock is better. He makes it look so easy that you wonder why everyone else doesn’t use that strategy, then you remember Heyman’s been in this business since the 80s and knows more about professional wrestling than almost anyone. Heyman challenges Braun to come to the ring and face off with Brock, and Strowman obliges. That leads to my new favorite wrestling GIF:
https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/907410630029832192
That is MAGICAL. The reason we’ll never see another Brock Lesnar isn’t because of his size, speed, strength or acting ability, it’s because he excels at all of them at the same time. Look at Lesnar’s face when he turns around to see Braun is standing up after a German Suplex. That’s so great. The best part is Brock Lesnar might as well be called German Suplex, because that is his go to move in almost every match over the last few years. It’s what he uses to soften everyone up before the F-5 finishes them off. What happens now that Braun can shake off a German like it was a Flair chop? Braun ends the segment literally standing tall on top of Lesnar, and I cannot wait to see these two F shit up at No Mercy.
Tears Of A Clown
Bray Wyatt took on Goldust, which should absolutely be a money matchup with a decent build that goes 10-12 minutes. Instead it’s super short, and Goldust is used as a pawn in the ongoing Balor/Wyatt rivalry. I mention this a lot, but if you look at the Bray Wyatt character minus the match results, he’s money. When Bray cut his pre match promo, blew out the battery operated lantern and his music hit, it infuriated me. His character is SO GOOD, except then you remember he loses every big-ish match he’s in, which makes his promo’s sound hollow and his character a bowl of shit. He wins his match against Goldust and wipes away Goldie’s face paint to signify that 1. he hates face paint and 2. to send a message to Finn Balor that he can’t beat him without resorting to the face painted Demon.
I do enjoy WWE portraying face paint as this magical, unbeatable force. It’s like when Jim Carrey put on the mask in The Mask. I won’t be shocked if everyone starts coming to the ring in face paint for every pay per view match.
Tag Team Chaos
Sheamus and Cesaro were scheduled to take on Gallows & Anderson with Rollins & Ambrose on commentary, but the three teams ended up brawling on the ramp before the match could begin. That lead to Rollins & Ambrose teaming up with the Hardy’s to take on Sheamus, Cesaro, Gallows & Anderson in the main event. The match was OK, but ended as lazily as possible, with Cesaro & Sheamus leaving Gallows & Anderson to take a 4 on 2 beat down for the loss. It looks like the tag title match might end up being a four way dance as well, and we will hopefully get some follow up next week.
Raw Is Ready For Asuka
Asuka is officially coming to Raw, and I’ll save my pros and cons for when she actually debuts. At this point, I’m just ready for more Asuka in my life.
Elias vs. Kalisto
Elias no known last name took on Kalisto again, and while these two have good chemistry, it was pretty much the same match we’ve seen from them in the past. I really enjoy Elias’s entire gimmick, but he should be getting into an actual feud at some point. His pre match songs about how awful the city Raw is in are always great, as are most of his matches, but he can only win random matches for so long. Give me Elias & Miz!
The John Cena Farewell Tour
Does anyone else find it odd that John Cena is burning through all these ‘dream matches’ on random Raw’s, Smackdown’s & B level pay per views? He fought Shinsuke Nakamura on a random Smackdown, Braun Strowman last night and will face Reigns at No Mercy. Those are all high level, WrestleMania quality matches. This smells a lot like Cena is winding down his WWE schedule, and WWE wants to get him in the ring with as much up and coming top level talent as they can.
This match was OK, but it was clear WWE booked themselves into a situation where neither one of these guys could lose. Braun just destroyed Brock Lesnar an hour earlier, so there’s no way Cena was winning clean. Cena is fighting Reigns at No Mercy, so there’s no way Strowman was winning clean. Therefore the match ended with Strowman getting DQ’d only after he power slammed Cena on top of the stairs. Hitting Cena in the head with stairs? A-OK. Body slamming Cena onto stairs? You’re out of here, pal.
Miz TV Featuring The Ethering Of Enzo Amore
First off, congratulations to The Miz and Maryse on their baby. My favorite part of this segment (and maybe the whole show) was Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas’s reaction. Pure joy. This felt like a way for WWE to address all of those Enzo/backstage heat rumors with one of their best talkers, and boy oh boy did Miz lay into Enzo. The only issue I had with this segment was that Reigns and Cena had already done something similar earlier in the show. The reason these types of promos work are because they happen sparingly, but doing two of them on the same show makes it less biting. The match that follows was not great, because Enzo Amore and wrestling go together like open wounds and salt. Give me Miz and Elias!
And that’s it for this week’s show. The first three segments were great, but Raw slowly lost steam as it finished off. We’ll see you next week for the go home Raw before No Mercy.
-Ryan
WWE RAW Review (8/28/17): Shooting From The Hip
Photo: WWE
Welcome back to Ryan’s Raw Review (I’ll figure out a name that doesn’t sound like Pee Wee’s Playhouse eventually) for what was an overall solid 3 hour wrestling show. We’re one week further removed from Summerslam and one week closer to No Mercy, which turns out is the best thing in the world because the No Mercy card is going to be stacked as hell. Let’s get to the review!
Average Nobodies note: make sure to follow us on Twitter – @averagenobodies and like us on Facebook – Facebook.com/AverageNobodies. We love talking pro wrestling, so you can comment on this post or reach out to us on social media if you want to join the discussion. You can also find all of our wrestling content by clicking the ‘wrestling’ tab under the banner on our home page.
Battle Royal
There are few things in life I like more than a battle royal with consequence attached to it, so naturally I loved this entire opening. The quick Miz/Angle promo and the battle royal took up the first 30 minutes of Raw, and it beat the hell out of a normal Raw opening that usually features two or more people talking, brawling and then most likely fighting each other in the main event. The Miz wants to bring prestige back to the IC belt, and Kurt Angle agrees, so instead of just naming his son as the #1 contender (which I really thought was going to happen) he makes an over the top rope battle royal with the winner facing Miz for the IC title next week. That’s perfect. There really isn’t one guy who stands out above the rest in the mid card division, so why not give them all the same opportunity and see who rises to the top?
Balor, Elias or Jason Jordan would have made sense, but I liked the surprise of going with Jeff Hardy, especially since this is for a title shot next week and not at a pay per view. Taking the slower approach with Jordan is a smart move as well, because his character isn’t connecting yet, and the answer to that problem is not to strap a rocket to his ass and have him win all the titles. Let him earn a title shot and see how the crowd reacts to that. The only shitty part of the match was Bray Wyatt tossing out Finn Balor. Wyatt’s character is as stale as month old bread, plus Finn already beat him at Summerslam. Get ready for Bray to beat Finn on a random episode of Raw only for Finn to get the win back at No Mercy. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Smart Heels
"Tonight, the GODDESS of @WWE reclaims her throne!" – @AlexaBliss_WWE #RAW pic.twitter.com/34yqlBdY4J
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) August 29, 2017
https://twitter.com/WWE205Live/status/902332736706195456
Three champions (spoiler for the main event) cut promos last night that were short but so on the nose that I wanted to make sure I mentioned them. Alexa Bliss was interviewed earlier in the night about her Women’s title match against Sasha Banks and she once again pointed out that Sasha Banks has never successfully defended the Women’s title, so why wouldn’t Alexa be going into that much with a boat load of confidence? It’s a tiny detail that could get lost in the build up to the match, but Alexa pointing it out and then delivering later in the night was wonderful.
The second instance is after Enzo Amore defeated Noam Dar. If you’re interested in reading a write up of that match I honestly don’t know what to tell you, but the only thing I wrote in my notes for that match was that WWE should give Enzo a finisher that he can’t fuck up as badly as he did last night. When your finisher requires you to put your foot on the other person’s face and pull their arm down to the mat, you should probably make sure your foot is on their face. Anyway, Neville cut a quick promo after the match (which isn’t on WWE’s YouTube yet) explaining that if Enzo is considered competition in the Cruiserweight division, then Neville is going to be champion forever. PREACH.
The final promo of the night was from The Miz, who was interviewed as he was leaving the building before the main event (apparently he hates women’s wrestling?). Miz rightfully points out that the point of his promo from earlier in the night was that he wants to bring prestige back to the IC title, and he doesn’t think that someone who wins one match should automatically get a shot at his title. As much as I love battle royals it’s tough to disagree with that point, although Jeff Hardy & Miz could sneak their way into our hearts next week.
Paul Heyman, Public Speaker Extraordinaire
Paul Heyman & Brock Lesnar were back again this week, and I could get used to the most important champion on the show showing up on a consistent basis. Last week Lesnar got eaten alive by destroyer of men Braun Strowman, and Heyman was out here this week doing the Lord’s work, putting over Strowman as Brock’s toughest opponent on the current roster. It’s such a simple technique & I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t use it.
If I’m fighting you, am I going to look stronger if you’re built up as this powerful entity or if you limp into the match with no momentum? It’s always option A, and WWE almost never builds up a match that way. I’ll get to The Bar/Rollins/Ambrose in a minute to show you what I mean. Heyman is predictably wonderful here, and Brock even gets on the microphone to formally invite Mr. Strowman to Suplex City™, bitch. It’s always nice to hear Brock actually speak, and while I favor him talking about making people vomit or piss themselves, I’ll take a Suplex City catchphrase when I can get it.
50/50
So. The Bar lost the tag belts to Ambrose & Rollins at Summerslam, and since there are only two other teams in the division we’re going to keep getting The Bar vs. Ambrose & Rollins until the end of time. It’s not the worst thing in the world because they’re four of the best guys on the roster, but if last night is any indication, the build to their matches are going to be super frustrating. Cesaro and Rollins squared off first and had a very good match, but once Sheamus got on the microphone after the match and announced he vs. Dean Ambrose, you knew exactly what was going to happen. Cesaro beat Rollins, so Ambrose HAD to beat Sheamus immediately after that to keep everyone even Stevens. The only thing worse than one team going into a title match with no momentum is both teams going in with no momentum. 50/50 bookings helps absolutely no one and it’s the dumbest thing WWE does on a consistent basis. The thought process behind it must be that both teams look evenly matched, but there are other ways to portray that besides having them constantly beat each other.
#MakeItStop
Emma and Mickie James had a backstage argument over internet hashtags, because it’s not possible for the Women’s division to have two storylines without one of them revolving around arguing over who started the Women’s Revolution. Emma beats Mickie in a quick, sloppy match, but if we’re looking for a silver lining, at least Emma won a match.
Reality Kings
John Cena will take on Roman Reigns at No Mercy because apparently No Mercy is the most important pay per view of the year. Seriously, the current card is Strowman/Lesnar, Reigns/Cena and they planted seeds for Nia/Alexa after the main event. Those are all WrestleMania quality matches. Before the match comes the contract signing, and Reigns and Cena knocked this segment out of the park. There are going to be people that didn’t like this segment because it featured Reigns and Cena, but WWE doesn’t go to the reality well too often which is why segments like this always work for me. The basis of this promo is that Reigns doesn’t need to fight Cena, and he’s right.
He’s been in the main event of three straight WrestleMania’s, retired the Undertaker at last year’s Mania and is clearly on his way to being John Cena 2.0. Cena’s job is to get under Reign’s skin and convince him to sign the contract, and John Cena does that better than anybody. Cena called out Reigns for his weak promo skills (while it looked like Reigns was in the middle of forgetting his lines) and told Roman that the only reason Cena is still even a part timer is because Roman can’t do his job right. That has to cut deep, and has a whole lot of truth to it. Cena still sells merchandise and tickets, and when WWE needs a ratings boost, it’s not Roman Reigns they turn to, it’s John Cena. Reigns pulled out the burying talking point and they mentioned heel turns and breaking the fourth wall, and while that feeds into the internet chatter more than anything else, it felt real and like I was watching two guys who didn’t really like each other.
It’s the same reason why Rock/Cena worked so well, and why it was the most watched WrestleMania in history. Add in a dose of reality every once in awhile with two guys who can pull it off and you’ll get some magic. It’s just funny that WWE is using magic to promote No Mercy. I’m going to pretend The Club didn’t come out to ruin the moment and that this segment ended with Reigns and Cena trying to rip each other apart.
Pelvis Wesley
Elias continues to be a great character and his weekly song about the city WWE is in is always a highlight. Unfortunately he’s still not in a meaningful feud, and last night he beat up Heath Slater in an Elvis costume. They were in Memphis, get it? Hey WWE, Elias and Goldust aren’t doing anything. Maybe use your 25+ veteran and have him work with your new guy who has lots of potential instead of whatever else you’re doing.
Main Event
The first four episodes of the Mae Young Classic premiered on the WWE Network after Raw (although they were available earlier in the day as well) so it made sense to put Alexa vs. Sasha as the main event, and the women delivered once again. Alexa & Sasha have great chemistry together, and I enjoyed the psychological aspect of the match with Sasha targeting Alexa’s arm and Alexa targeting Sasha’s back. The end result was the right call too, because you still have Nia Jax waiting in the wings, as Alexa promised her a title shot long ago. Alexa wins with her beautiful looking DDT, and Nia comes out to help Alexa celebrate. She hoisted Alexa up on her shoulder and walked around the ring with a smile, only to change expressions to stone face and drop Alexa on her back. It was a great moment, and Nia is long overdue for a title program. If this sets up Alexa vs. Nia at No Mercy, I’m all the way in.
-Ryan
Asuka Relinquished Her NXT Women’s Title At Last Night’s NXT Taping #WWENXT
The #NXTUniverse cheers for @WWEAsuka moments after relinquishing the #NXTWomensTitle to GM @RealKingRegal. #ThankYouAsuka #WeAreNXT pic.twitter.com/2CjDsDKQXU
— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) August 25, 2017
Asuka is unquestionably the greatest champion in NXT history, and will go down as one of the best title holders in all of WWE. She’s undefeated dating back to October 2015 (!) and has had the NXT Women’s title since defeating Bayley at TakeOver Dallas in April 2016. Unfortunately one of those streaks has come to an end, as Asuka relinquished her NXT Women’s title at last night’s NXT taping. It was rumored that Asuka suffered a collarbone injury during her match with Ember Moon in Brooklyn, but even with the 6-8 week timetable for recovery I thought Asuka could get by without losing the belt. Turns out that won’t be happening, and it’s a very interesting move.
It’s been NXT tradition to have a champion drop the belt to a deserving challenger before moving on to the main roster (the latest example of that being Bobby Roode) but it’s been clear for a long time that Asuka was different from anyone else who has ever performed in NXT. Asuka truly was so dominant that I don’t think anyone should have taken the title from her, and while Ember Moon came the closest to dethroning her, I’m OK with her leaving NXT with a perfect record. Plus, Ember will eventually be on the main roster too, and Asuka hammering home the point that Ember never defeated her will make for a great third act in this rivalry.
-Ryan
Fans Surprising John Cena Is The Best Video You’ll Watch Today
Talk about a punch to the feelings bone. I feel like Michael Scott during the ‘Grief Counseling’ episode of The Office, except much happier. Whether you love or hate John Cena the wrestler, it’s become abundantly clear that John Cena the person is a pretty great guy. While my generation might not be the target audience for Cena and his message, it’s clear that his Never Give Up catchphrase has a positive effect on a lot of people. If you didn’t tear up when Tyler started telling his story then you have no soul.
-Ryan
WWE RAW Review (8/21/17): You Both Suck
Photo: WWE
Summerslam has come and gone, and outside of two good tag matches and a bat shit crazy main event, it felt like just another pay per view. Usually a show with three great matches would be considered a success, but Summerslam had THIRTEEN matches. 3/13 isn’t a great percentage for your biggest show of the summer. Alas, we’re now moving forward to the fall with the follow up Raw from Brooklyn. Let’s get to the review!
Average Nobodies note: make sure to follow us on Twitter – @averagenobodies and like us on Facebook – Facebook.com/AverageNobodies. We love talking pro wrestling, so you can comment on this post or reach out to us on social media if you want to join the discussion. You can also find all of our wrestling content by clicking the ‘wrestling’ tab under the banner on our home page.
Braun Strowman, MONSTER
It was going to be pretty hard for WWE to screw up a no DQ/no count out match featuring Lesnar, Reigns, Joe & Strowman, but the way Braun was booked in that match exceeded my expectations. He’s looked fantastic for pretty much this entire year, but Sunday night was magical. He destroyed everyone in his path, especially Brock Lesnar, and for the first time in Lesnar’s career he was stretchered out of a match. That’s badass. Braun didn’t end up winning the belt Sunday, but he made sure to remind Lesnar just how much of a monster he is last night. Lesnar/Strowman for the Universal title is confirmed for No Mercy, and I can’t wait to see these two go at it again.
Even though Lesnar is only around part time, it’s been refreshing watching him these last two pay per views. He put on a great match with Samoa Joe at GBOF, and was equally as great at Summerslam. He sold his ass off for Strowman and made him look like a legitimate monster, which is always great to see. It’s also going to be interesting watching Lesnar play the underdog. He never was able to German Strowman at Summerslam, so if he’s finally able to at No Mercy, it’ll be a huge spot.
WHY, PART ONE
Big Cass and Enzo have been feuding since the late 70s, and even though Big Cass has taken out Enzo every time they’ve been in the ring together while also proving himself right that Enzo’s mouth gets him into fights he can’t win on his own, we got ANOTHER Enzo/Cass match last night. Cass beat Big Show at Summerslam, which for all intents and purposes should’ve been the end of the feud, but for some reason they booked a Brooklyn street fight instead last night. The match ended up being a throwaway due to Cass’s injury, which could go either way. We’ll know later on today if it was legitimate, but he did a great job of selling it if it wasn’t real. While you never want to see anyone get hurt, if this is the only way to end this feud and have both guys move on to literally anything else, I’m all for it.
WHY, PART TWO
Emma and Nia Jax fought again, and Nia murdered her again. In other news, the sky is blue, the grass is green and the POTUS likes to stare directly into the sun.
WHY, PART THREE
Elias is consistently one of my favorite parts of Raw, but WWE is testing my patience by pitting him against R-Truth. I understand they both have musically involved characters, but Elias is too good to be slumming it up with R-Truth. Elias wins easily, and I hope he moves onto something more meaningful very soon.
Cruiserweights
Gran Metalik, Rich Swann, Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali took on Drew Gulak, Noam Dar, Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari because there’s only time for one short, mashed together Cruiserweight match on WWE’s three hour wrestling show. If you’ve seen this match once, you’ve seen it a million times. Metalik, Swann, Alexander & Ali are all studs, but when they’re only given 5 minutes combined to show their stuff you’re going to get a crowd reaction like we saw last night, which was everyone more invested in the wave than the Cruiserweights. At this point talking about the Cruiserweights is like beating your head against a steel door, and until WWE changes up the way they’re present & wrestle, the crowd will continue not to care.
The Makings Of A Real Tag Team Division
The 1-2 punch of the Hardy’s vs. Rollins/Ambrose & Jason Jordan vs. Finn Balor was the best actual wrestling on the show, and I can get into Rollins/Ambrose as a take on all challengers type of team. They tore the house down at Summerslam with Sheamus & Cesaro (which shouldn’t have surprised anyone) and had another solid match last night with the Hardy’s. As good as the Hardy’s still are, knowing that the Broken characters are a possibility gets more and more distracting. I know there’s a ton of legal stuff to get sorted out, but all I want is for Broken Matt & Brother Nero to start tearing it up with Rollins, Ambrose, Sheamus & Cesaro. Nobody needed a change of scenery more than Ambrose, and putting him back with Rollins seems to have rejuvenated him the past few nights. If we can add a few more teams to the tag team division, we might be in for a great stretch of tag team wrestling.
Boss vs. Goddess
This wasn’t an ideal night for the Women’s division. Nia Jax squashed Emma, and the only other segment featuring the women was a short verbal confrontation between Sasha Banks & Alexa Bliss. We’ll get Bliss vs. Banks next week for the Women’s title, which is always a good to great match.
A Fresh Matchup
Earlier in the night Jason Jordan approached his dad backstage and asked for more competition, so Kurt Angle put him in a match with Finn Balor. Reading that sentence out loud is very weird. Anyways, Jordan vs. Balor was really good, and unfortunately this match was performed in front of a crowd that was going on hour 11 of wrestling over the past three days. I understand being disinterested in the Cruiserweights because WWE hasn’t given us a reason to care about 98% of the division, but you shouldn’t need a reason to get hype about Jason Jordan vs. Finn Balor. Jordan’s character isn’t polished yet, but he’s still an ace in the ring, and Balor is at his very best when he’s fighting a bigger, stronger guy. Balor winning is obviously the right call as he should always be in the upper mid card, and this could turn into a good story for Jordan as well, as he bit off more then he could chew and might need to readjust his game plan before going after some of the bigger fish on Raw.
Main Event – You Both Suck
Earlier in the night, Kurt Angle announced the newest Raw superstar, John Cena. You may have heard of him? Cena came out and did his usual song & dance, which summoned the protector of yards Roman Reigns. Thankfully the conversation was kept to a minimum between the two, because no two wrestlers sound more robotic and unrealistic than John Cena and Roman Reigns. Cena has the ability to at least elicit some passion if he’s really into a feud, but Reigns has the same monotone delivery whether he’s fighting in the main event of WrestleMania or he’s ordering chicken wings from a local restaurant.
The star of the first segment is The Miz, who once again ethered both Cena & Reigns with his ‘moments’ promo. Miz excels at blurring reality and wrestling storylines, and he always, always, always makes a good point. How many moments do Reigns & Cena get? It doesn’t matter how often they get cheered or booed, or how often they win or lose; at the end of the day, they’re still Roman Reigns & John Cena, so they’re going to be in the most important spots when it matters. Miz is having such a great year, and it’s a shame that even though he’s the IC champ, he’s far and away the third most important person when Reigns or Cena are around. The 1B star of this segment is obviously Bo Dallas’s jacket.
After Samoa Joe came out to confront Reigns and Cena, GM Kurt Angle made the main event a tag match between Cena/Reigns & Miz/Joe. If you guessed that the match would end with Cena AA’ing Miz and Raw going off the air with ‘tension’ between Cena & Reigns, then congratulations, you’ve been paying attention. Cena/Reigns is the money feud and I understand that, but I wish they didn’t have to do all this at the expense of their only mid card champion who consistently kicks ass on the microphone and in the ring. If you were wondering how the Brooklyn crowd felt about all of this, they end the night on a ‘You Both Suck’ chant. I feel you, Brooklyn.
Join us next week when John Cena & Roman Reigns continue to begrudgingly be friends.
-Ryan
Your Average #WWESummerslam Preview & Predictions
Photo: WWE
Last week I previewed WWE Summerslam 10 days before the pay per view. Now that we’re through the final Raw & Smackdown, it’s time for our official preview & predictions post. Between the pre-show and main card Summerslam is slated for 6 hours, so if you were looking to watch a whole lot of wrestling this weekend, you’re in luck. Let’s get to the preview!
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Randy Orton vs. Rusev
Photo: WWE
I’m not as well versed on Smackdown feuds as I am with Raw, but WWE aren’t exactly the Coen Brothers when it comes to telling stories so I’m pretty sure I can figure things out. 2017 has been a frustrating year for Rusev. He missed WrestleMania due to a shoulder injury, got separated from Lana and when he finally debuted on Smackdown, he got thrown into a USA themed feud with John Cena that he obviously lost.
You’d think that’d be enough awfulness for one year, but now he’s slotted against Randy Orton, the man with less momentum than a nailed down piece of wood. Orton started the year off strong with a Royal Rumble win and a World title win at WrestleMania, but everything post Mania has been awful. He was in the House of Horrors match & has lost to Jinder Mahal three pay per views in a row. Even though he inexplicably got a clean non title win over Mahal on Tuesday, he’s still tanking.
Prediction
Ryan – In a perfect world, this would be a spot to give Rusev a win at a major pay per view over someone with name value, but we do not live in a perfect world. RKO out of somewhere will win it for Orton.
Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
If you’ve been following the story of Bray Wyatt, you know all his storylines have three acts. Act 1. Start a feud by teleporting in and costing someone a match. Act 2. build up that feud with teleportation/spooky dark room promos. Act 3. Lose the match at a pay per view. We’re all the way though act 1 and almost through act 2, so the only thing left for Wyatt to do is lose to Balor at Summerslam. I really hope I’m wrong, but Balor hasn’t done much since returning from injury, and he wasn’t even on the GBOF card. Wyatt beat Rollins at that show, which was nice, but his track record causes me to believe he’s going to lose to Balor at the more important PPV.
Balor and Wyatt fought on Monday with Wyatt picking up a clean win. After the match Wyatt dumped a bucket of ‘blood’ on Balor, which caused Balor to announce that he’s summoning The Demon for Summerslam. I guess a bucket of blood is The Demon’s version of a bat signal? As hyped as I am to see a Demon entrance at a major pay per view, I wish they hadn’t wasted this match on Raw. Also, Wyatt already winning clean almost guarantees a win for Balor here.
Prediction
Ryan – The Demon
Big Cass vs. Big Show (Enzo Amore will be suspended in a shark cage above the ring)
This has been the never ending feud, but I will give credit where credit is due: I loved the segment from Monday featuring these three plus Gallows/Anderson. At this point Enzo shouldn’t be garnering any sympathy, and he once again talked too much and hung his 7 foot friend out to dry. Cass cut a great promo about how after Summerslam, he’s going to be the best big man in the business. Enzo interrupted, brought out the Big Show, and the Big Show got his hand destroyed by Cass, Gallows & Anderson for once again trying to help out Enzo. I hope the Cass, Gallows & Anderson pairing is more than a one off since Gallows & Anderson aren’t doing anything else, and I’m once again going to suggest putting actual sharks into the shark cage with Enzo.
Prediction
Ryan – Big Cass
John Cena vs. Baron Corbin
My original stance on this match was that Corbin needed the win much more than Cena. Corbin had the MITB briefcase, and assuming Nakamura beats Jinder for the title, giving Corbin a win over Cena would make him that much more dangerous as he chases Nak.
It didn’t even need to be a clean win. He could kick Cena in the dick, set him on fire, whatever. WWE baby faces will never be as popular as they want them to be unless they have a legitimate heel to oppose them. If Corbin beats Cena at Summerslam, he’ll be on his way to being a true threat to whoever is holding the title.
WELP, so much for rooting for fun outcomes in pro wrestling. After John Cena beat Mahal via DQ on Tuesday, Corbin decided to cash in on Mahal. Cena distracted him, Mahal rolled up Corbin for the win and Corbin lost his briefcase. I can’t comprehend who thought this was a good idea 5 days before Summerslam, but whoever it was should be exiled. This decision takes a lot of suspense out of the title match now that there’s no MITB briefcase holder, and while Corbin might be more aggressive now that Cena cost him his briefcase, I’d rather have Corbin lurking in the shadows than fighting angry.
Prediction
Ryan – John Cena, because we can’t have nice things
Cruiserweight Championship Match: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa (C)
Neville has consistently been the best part of the Cruiserweight division for the entirety of 2017, so obviously he lost the title to Tozawa six days before Summerslam. I have no idea why they had a title match on Raw, and I’m even more flabbergasted that Neville would lose clean. Is anyone even interested in the rematch when we’ve already seen a clean outcome? The only silver lining is that Neville & Tozawa work really well together, so the match should be top notch. I just wish they didn’t already face other, with a title change, 4 days ago.
Prediction
Ryan – Tozawa has to retain, right? I honestly have no idea what to expect, but I’m going with Tozawa
Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: New Day (C) vs. The Uso’s
New Day & The Uso’s have been having a very under the radar feud on Smackdown, and this is one of the matches I’m most excited for. As solid as Xavier Woods was at Battleground, the best wrestling version of New Day is always Big E & Kofi, so I’m glad to see they’ll be defending the straps. The Uso’s picked up a decisive win two weeks ago over Sami Zayn & Tye Dillinger, and New Day also showed some much needed aggression in their post match attack. You get the sense that these two teams really dislike each other, which is an element that’s missing from a lot of modern day feuds. If they’re given as much time as they were at Battleground, this could turn into a classic.
Prediction
Ryan – This is a toss up for me, but if I HAD to choose, I’m going Uso’s.
Raw Tag Team Championship Match – Cesaro & Sheamus (C) vs. Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose
Photo: WWE
This is my pick for match of the night. It’s also a story of two similarly formed teams, as Cesaro & Sheamus were also enemies who joined forces when they realized they were stronger as a unit. Rollins & Ambrose reluctantly rejoined forces after Cesaro & Sheamus continually beat them down, and we already know how effective they can be when they’re on the same page. I’ve enjoyed Cesaro & Sheamus’s tag title run, and even though there hasn’t been a lot of competition, adding Rollins & Ambrose into the mix is a big plus.
Prediction
Ryan – I don’t think reuniting Rollins & Ambrose and having them immediately win the tag titles is the right move, so I’d expect some growing pains. Cesaro & Sheamus retain.
Raw Women’s Championship Match: Alexa Bliss (C) vs. Sasha Banks
Photo: WWE
While you never want to see anyone get injured, Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss had all the making of another major letdown match. Bayley & Bliss have never clicked in the ring, and thrusting Bayley into another title match was not the right move. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa is a much better match up, and these two have already proved they have better chemistry with their match at GBOF. The thing to remember here is that Nia Jax is still guaranteed a title match as long as Bliss remains champion, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see her get involved in this match.
Prediction
Ryan – Alexa retains, potentially with some help from Nia Jax
Smackdown Women’s Championship Match: Naomi (C) vs. Natalya
It’s refreshing to see the Smackdown Women’s title defended in a one on one match at a major pay per view. I understand the mindset of wanting to get as much people on the card as possible, but the title feels more important when there’s a standout challenger. It’s also nice to see Natalya given a title match at a major pay per view, and as the senior member of the Women’s division I think she and Naomi are going to put on a hell of a match. Summerslam is slated for 4 hours (plus a 2 hour pre show) so there’s no reason to not give each match the time it needs to tell a story. The result of this match may not matter as Carmella should be lurking in the background with her MITB briefcase.
Prediction
Ryan – Naomi retains after a hard fought match, and Carmella capitalizes and cashes in.
WWE United States Championship Match: AJ Styles (C) vs. Kevin Owens (Shane McMahon as special guest referee)
Whenever you put AJ Styles and Kevin Owens together they have a chance to do something special, so my only request for this match is to let them do what they do best, which is wrestle and tell a story. I know that’s a lot to ask when Shane McMahon is the special guest referee, but this is a different Shane O Mac than the one we saw ref matches in the late 90’s & early 2000’s.
The general consensus is that this will lead to KO vs. Shane somewhere down the line (since we’ve already seen Shane vs. AJ) but again, all I want is for these two to wrestle their asses off. Leave the shenanigans for another day. This match doesn’t need AJ getting his foot stuck in the announce table or a confusing ending based on shoulder placement. You have two of the best wrestlers in the world in a title match at your second biggest pay per view. Let them work their magic.
Unfortunately we’ve gotten the exact opposite over the last two Smackdown’s. AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens for the US title at a major pay per view should not be centered around which guy is going to accidentally hit 47 year old special guest referee Shane McMahon, but that’s what WWE has chosen to focus on. It’s almost a certainty we’ll get some type of ref knockdown, but hopefully it doesn’t overshadow the match.
Prediction
Ryan – I’m very into workhorse mid card champion AJ Styles, so I’m going with AJ.
WWE Championship Match: Jinder Mahal (C) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
This is the match I’m most nervous about. While it’s great to see a fresh face as champion, Jinder Mahal’s title reign hasn’t been great. While a lot of that has to do with him only fighting Randy Orton, you also have to remember who Jinder Mahal was before this run. He was the third best member in 3MB during his former run and his most noteworthy moment during his last run on Raw was hitting Finn Balor too hard in the head. Just because he’s champion doesn’t mean he’s magically going to turn into AJ Styles in the ring.
Nakamura has also had some growing pains since debuting on the main roster. He’s had sub par matches with Ziggler, KO & Corbin, all of whom are capable of much more, especially against Nak. If Nakamura can’t have good to great matches with those three, is he capable of doing it with Jinder Mahal? Are we in for another bad match with Singh Brother interference? I always skew positive when it comes to pro wrestling, but this match doesn’t have a lot going for it.
Nakamura should win this match. Even if you have the Singh Brothers interfere, Nakamura is clearly the star of this match, and he should be able to overcome the odds and Kinshasa Jinder to win the belt. Corbin losing his MITB briefcase takes away all of the post match drama, but regardless, Nak should leave as the World Champion
Prediction
Ryan – Shinsuke Nakamura
Fatal 4 Way Universal Championship Match: Brock Lesnar (C) vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe
The biggest compliment I can give this match is that no result would surprise me. If Lesnar wins and retains the title somehow, it would make sense because he’s Brock Lesnar. If Samoa Joe or Strowman win, you’re giving them their first major title win at your second biggest pay per view. If Rollins & Ambrose win the tag titles earlier in the night and help Reigns win the Universal title in the main event I’ll probably lose consciousness.
The biggest stipulation is the announcement that if Lesnar loses, he’ll leave WWE. It’s no secret that he wants back in the UFC, and it’s tough to train for that and appear for WWE at the same time. As awesome as Brock is, he’s always better in small doses, and he doesn’t need the title. He can show up and murder everyone every 6 months or so until he’s 60. If his heart is set on returning to the UFC, let him do it and then welcome him back with open arms if he wants to return.
Prediction
Ryan – My heart is set on Samoa Joe winning here, so that’s who I’m going with. Lesnar leaves temporarily, Strowman & Reigns become de facto number one contenders and Joe gets a title he over deserves.
The match card currently sits at 12, but there’s always room for more. Look for a Miz/Jason Jordan or Miz, Miz-Tourage vs. JJ & The Hardy’s to be added, as well as whatever Goldust has planned.
-Ryan
Your Average #NXTTakeOver Brooklyn Preview & Predictions
Before the biggest party of the summer on Sunday, NXT will hold their third consecutive TakeOver from Brooklyn Saturday night. The show is headlined by Bobby Roode defending his NXT title against Drew McIntyre. Asuka will defend her Women’s title & the AOP will defend their tag titles, while Aleister Black vs. Hideo Itami & Andrade Almas vs. Johnny Gargano round out the card. Let’s get to the preview!
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Andrade Almas vs. Johnny Gargano
Photo: WWE
Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa, formerly known as #DIY (RIP) would have been a magical main event in Brooklyn in an alternate universe . They were the ultimate baby face tag team, and unlike most heel turns, Ciampa turning on Gargano felt organic and painful. Unfortunately Ciampa suffered a pretty serious injury, so Gargano is forced to move on without the closure of finishing a feud with his former partner.
That brings us to Almas vs. Gargano at TakeOver, and this match has all the makings of the beginning of an underdog story. Almas’s character is finally getting rehabilitated thanks to the addition of Selena Vega, and it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to start his new journey off with a loss at TakeOver. It would make sense to position Gargano similar to how Sami Zayn & Tye Dillinger were booked in the past, especially since he already has the built in crowd love from his time in #DIY.
Prediction: Andrade Almas
Hideo Itami vs. Aleister Black
Photo: WWE
As awesome as Black has been so far, he still doesn’t really have a character in NXT. We know he enjoys the dark arts and can kick your head off in an instant, but the motivations behind his character still aren’t clear. It’s very similar to Hideo Itami’s frustrating run in NXT (minus the injuries), but Itami has finally been given some semblance of a character. He’s been great in his role as an paranoid performer who craves respect, which was amplified a couple weeks ago when Aleister knocked him out cold with a Black Mass. Itami still seems caught in the middle as far as where NXT wants to position him, and after losing to Bobby Roode, I’m not sure how much longer he should stay there. Black, on the other hand, is on an upward trajectory and should have a title shot in the near future.
Prediction: Aleister Black
NXT Tag Team Championship Match: The Authors of Pain vs. Sanity
I wasn’t a huge fan of this pairing when it first started, but after the opening segment last week, I’m all in. The Authors of Pain are still undefeated and have been dominating the tag team division since their debut, but for the first time ever they were outsmarted and overpowered last week. Sanity finally looked like a legitimate threat to the AOP, and the reemergence of Eric Young put the numbers game firmly in their favor.
While Killian Dane and Alexander Wolfe might not be able to overpower AOP as a team, they can use their over aggression against them. That’s what they did last week, as Akam charged the ring ahead of Rezar, allowing Eric Young to take out Rezar and zip tie him to the guard rail. As powerful as Akam is, he’s not going to win a 2 or 3 on 1 attack against Sanity. The AOP will definitely be coming in guns blazing Saturday night, but Sanity has the upper hand and EY back in their corner. We haven’t had a title change (not counting the UK title) on a TakeOver since Bobby Roode won the NXT title in January, but I’m going with the upset.
Prediction: Sanity
NXT Women’s Championship Match: Asuka (C) vs. Ember Moon
Photo: WWE
“No one is ready for Asuka”. Have truer words ever been spoken? It’s almost silly to call Asuka dominant at this point, because she’s so much more than that. She’s the longest reigning, most overpowering champion in NXT history, and she will roll into TakeOver still undefeated, with a 16 month & 2+ week title reign. Ember Moon has been her most worthy adversary, and a case could be made that Asuka might’ve lost her title at TakeOver Orlando if she didn’t shove the referee into Ember when she setting up for the Total Eclipse. One thing we know for certain is that if Ember does hit the Total Eclipse, Asuka’s undefeated streak and title reign are over. That’s a big IF though, because Asuka has proven flawless at avoiding big time moves that would cause maximum damage. Will we have two title changes in one night? I think so.
Prediction: Ember Moon
NXT Title Match: Bobby Roode (C) vs. Drew McIntyre
As of now (Thursday afternoon) this is still a one on one match for Roode’s NXT title, but after he interfered in McIntyre & Strong’s match on Wednesday, I wouldn’t be shocked if it turned into a triple threat. I’m going to preview it as if it were a one on one match, and McIntyre will be one of Roode’s toughest tests to date. That’s saying something when you remember he’s already faced guys like Nakamura, Itami & Strong, but this new version of Drew McIntyre is a perfect blend of experience, size & strength.
What separates Roode from most guys, and what has allowed him to win and retain his title, is his ability to outsmart his opponents. Take his feud with Drew McIntyre. He baited both GM Regal and McIntyre into taking a match against Roderick Strong, someone Roode knows is a tough competitor who will wear down Drew before their match TakeOver. His arrogance and cockiness gets under his opponents skin, which alters their game plan and Roode is a good enough wrestler to capitalize on it.
As impressive as McIntyre has been since his arrival in NXT, I think he’ll be next in a long line of victories for the GLORIOUS Bobby Roode.
Prediction: Bobby Roode
