Category Archives: Insane Instagram Comments
Insane Instagram Comments
We all know, the comment section on any website is a grotesque place. This is especially true for Instagram. The Average Nobodies’ Insane Instagram Comments highlights the most deranged comments Instagram has to offer. See some savage shit going down in the comment section? Hit us up on twitter or Instagram if you have any leads on a comment(s) that should be featured. Stay safe out there, internetters.
For those of you who don’t know, Olivia Culpo is Rhode Island native (hey now!), current model, actress, restaurateur and former 2012 miss USA winner. She’s also currently dating New England Patriot Danny Amendola, because beautiful people need to stick together. Olivia recently reached 2 million followers, and celebrated how anyone would: with a lot of balloons.
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THANK YOU TO THE TWO MILLION OF ALL OF YOU! I love getting to share so much with you, you make me smile every single day. Nothing makes me happier than interacting with you all whether it's through posts, pictures, comments, or even in person (when we're lucky 😉) Also thank you to my amazing team for ACTUALLY blowing up each of these 10000000 helium balloons. You guys make everything so much more fun ❤️❤️❤️❤️ @nikkibohannon @zoewrubs @carolinecarter8
Isn’t that lovely. Kind of sucks for her team because blowing up 10,000,000 balloons sounds awful. Beyond awful. While most of her fans were also in the celebratory mood, one creature from the depths of Instagram hell emerged to spoil the party:
I didn’t just include @me81093418470’s comment in that picture, but if you can’t distinguish the insane from the not insane we have bigger problems here. I’m always tempted to dissect these comments, but I know that’s a losing battle. I really can’t figure this one out though. “Look at me while you take your bra off” is insane on it’s own, but when you add all those extra exclamation points it enters into the danger zone. It’s so oddly specific too. The eye contact request is what really worries me, although if I’m being honest, this person existing on planet Earth is the most worrying thing of all.
Hey Olivia, if you’re reading, I apologize on behalf of the human race.
The best (or worst) thing about this is how casual it all seems. James Franco is advertising t-shirts with his name on it and then BAM, a ‘can I s your d’ comment just coming right out of left field. I don’t hate it, it was just unexpected, and it just seems like it was done so calmly. No exclamation point, no question mark, which means it was more of a statement than a question. This person wasn’t really asking, they were letting James Franco know what’s going to happen later whether he likes it or not. As a normal person, you don’t have people commenting on your pictures telling you that they’re going to suck your dick, so I don’t know how I’d feel about this. At first I’m sure it’s flattering, but after awhile I’m sure the people telling you that aren’t the kind of people you want near your dick.
The Rock goes out of his way, more so than any other celebrity I can think of, to be nice and accommodating to his fans. He’s always mentioning his fans on Instagram or taking pictures with people who idolize him at the gym, but I think even The Rock would have a hard time answering @bae_unknown_. It seems like this Instagram commenter had more to say but decided to just end his thought mid sentence. This isn’t the most outrageous comment we’ve seen by a long shot, but it is kind of insane. If you’re going to take the time comment on someone’s Instagram, at least have it make a little sense. The Rock is such a genuine guy he’d probably take you out for steak and tequila if you could form a coherent sentence. Until then, keep asking questions without question marks.
Porn stars are probably the easiest targets on Instagram, since most of the people who follow them are bloodthirsty horn dogs. So even when they post a picture as innocent as a couple takeout containers full of burgers and fries, the comment section is locked and loaded with some depraved comments. The only silver lining here is that porn stars HAVE to hear and see some really disturbing comments, so this is probably a welcome request to Abella Anderson. In the grand scheme of things, getting asked to have someone eat fast food off your ass really isn’t that bad. If you’ve ever scrolled through the comments on PornHub videos or any porn stars Twitter/Instagram you’ll realize that this request is as normal as apple pie, which is probably another thing @gooodlivin would like to eat off of Abella’s ass. Just another day in the life of a porn star.
This is obviously an insane thing to post on of all things an Instagram video of Sam Smith releasing the art to his new music video, but it also made me legitimately laugh out loud. The chain mail text/email/comment is a strategy as old as time, but this one automatically moves to the top of my list because it’s so vague and specific at the same time. It starts off specific: “post this on 15 other posts”, then gets very vague: “and you will be kissed”, then gets very specific again: “if you break the chain you will see a demon in 53 minutes”. Copying that comment on 15 other posts isn’t that difficult, but you have to make sure you’re posting it on celebrity posts where it can get lost in the comment shuffle and not your friends post where it’s the only comment and you look insane. The kissed thing creeps me out more than the demon thing if I’m being honest. It just says “you will be kissed”. By whom? I don’t want to share this comment to 15 different Instagram’s and then head out to the market and have some old man come over and try to kiss me. I’m not sure why my head jumped right to that specific scenario but it did and I really don’t want that to happen. You can’t post a comment like this and just be that vague in the middle of it. I want to know who I’m getting kissed by when I spread this propaganda around. If you know a demon is going to come 53 minutes after I refuse to share this comment then the least you can do is tell me who’s going to kiss me.