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Category Archives: celebrity

Here’s Your First Look At Rami Malek As Freddie Mercury In ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

There are few people in music history as recognizable as Queen frontman Freddie Mercury — and not just his face, but his four-octave voice and flamboyant physicality. Rami Malek is well aware of that fact.

“When you’re able to open your eyes and see a different person staring back at you in the mirror,” Malek says, recalling his first time in hair and makeup, “it’s a very affirming moment.”

The Mr. Robot star is preparing to play Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody (out Dec. 25, 2018), the Bryan Singer-directed film that chronicles Queen from 1970, when Mercury teamed with Brian May and Roger Taylor, until the band’s performance at Live Aid in 1985, six years before the singer died of complications from AIDS. Malek channels Mer­cury’s look from that global-­concert event. Resembling the legendary musician, he says, “only adds to the level of confidence that one would need to play Freddie Mercury.” – EW

We have still a ways to go before Bohemian Rhapsody hits theaters, but whenever an actor takes on the part of playing another famous celebrity, it’s always important to get the look right. I think it’s safe to say Malek as Mercury is more than alright:

Photo: EW

Beyond the look, the attribute most commonly associated with Mercury is his voice, which I like to describe as a combination between an angel whispering in your ear and all of your wildest dreams coming true. Christmas 2018 can’t get here soon enough.

-Ryan

 

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Happy 30 Years to Rick Astley & Never Gonna Give You Up

Human beings may not be able to agree on a lot of things, but one thing we should all agree on is that Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley is a song that stands the test of time. Astley tweeted out a reminder that the song turned 30 today, which is kind of insane seeing as that means the song is older than I am. 80’s music will always have a place in my heart & Spotify library, and Never Gonna Give You Up will always be towards the top of the list. May we all be Rick roll’d for millenniums to come.

-Ryan

Let Jackie Chan’s Safe Sex PSA Whisk You Into The Weekend

If you were looking for a blog that dissects a 2011 HIV/AIDS public service announcement featuring action movie star Jackie Chan & an animated condom, then not only do you have oddly specific taste, but you’ve come to the right place. I was perusing Cracked as I usually do a few times a week when I came across this video, and it was too strange not to share with the world. Here you have Jackie Chan, who reminds everyone at the beginning of the video that he’s an action star, joined by an animated, mobile, TALKING condom.

I’ve always wondered who creates these PSA’s and if I had to guess, the creator of this one is locked away in a mental hospital. I also wonder who their target audience is, because if it’s kids who haven’t had sex yet, they’re going to be in for a fucking shock when they buy condoms that don’t talk and practice karate. If you need a conversation starter at some point this weekend, whip out this post and watch everyone run away in horror.

-Ryan

A Paralyzed Zac Brown Band Fan Couldn’t Make It To Their Concert, So The Band Went To Him Instead

Thomas Schoettle was looking forward to seeing Zac Brown Band, his favorite country act, perform live on July 14. However, a tragic diving accident 17 days before the concert left the Pennsylvania teen paralyzed and unable to attend the show.

On Saturday, Zac Brown surprised his No. 1 fan at Bryn Mawr Rehab Center where Schoetlle continues to recover from his injuries, including a fractured neck and bruised spinal chord.

“Oh my God,” the 17-year-old Glenolden native said as Brown entered his room as seen in videos shared by his mother, Samantha Springfield-Schoettle, on Facebook. “I figured since you couldn’t come to us, we’d come to you,” Brown, 38, joked. – People

Is someone cutting onions around here? This is simply wonderful, and while it might’ve been a minor inconvenience for the ZBB to visit this kid in the hospital, it clearly meant the world to Thomas. I’ve never understood people who have fame, fortune or power and don’t use it for good, but I’m glad to see that Zac Brown and his band are some of the good guys. Kudos to them for this gesture, and hopefully Thomas continues to recover.

-Ryan

The Doctah Diaries: R. Kelly Is Apparently Holding Aspiring Female Musicians Hostage

Before we begin, let’s all hope Dave Chappelle is hard at work on a new R. Kelly scandal song. I’m thinking ‘I’ll Never Let You Fly (The Hostage Song)’ to the beat of ‘ I Believe I Can Fly.

And now, back to the drama.

It has been a longggggggggggggg while since we heard from R&B singer, R. Kelly, and I think I know why.

Kelly has been pleasantly, or unpleasantly, keeping women in a cult.

Couple of things on my mind here before we continue about Mr Kelly

  1. I didn’t know that cults provided food, shelter, and clothing. I thought they only provided Kool-Aid
  2. What’s stopping women from leaving Mr. Kelly if they live in Chicago and Atlanta?  It’s not like they are next door neighbors

But, that’s neither here nor there …

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

Three former members of Kelly’s inner circle—Cheryl Mack, Kitti Jones, and Asante McGee— provided details supporting the parents’ worst fears. They said six women live in properties rented by Kelly in Chicago and the Atlanta suburbs, and he controls every aspect of their lives: dictating what they eat, how they dress, when they bathe, when they sleep, and how they engage in sexual encounters that he records. – Vice

First of all, keywords here are RENT, PARENTS, SEXUAL.  I’ll explain why.

  1. Kelly is renting.  I guess “I Believe I Can Fly” didn’t make enough royalties to buy a home?  Can’t you leave rent agreements freely by calling the police?  What ever happened to that idea?  “Hi Officer, I’m being detained against my will because I won’t pay the rent, will you come arrest somebody.”  Try that.
  2. Parents normally fear for their children’s lives.  Understandable.  However, they don’t go to the press – they go to the cops.  This is why I believe this is just terrible PR management and R. Kelly is just trying to make a comeback, and his publicist was just like “hey Rob, let’s run with the sex thing, tell your [expletives] they each get 50k.”.
  3. Let’s see.  How about if he’s really being a dick, you can technically bite his tallywacker right off and claim temporary insanity, domestic abuse, and self defense all in one defense and BAM you’ll be that girl, but you’ll be … how do you say it … FREE

The truth is, this R. Kelly mess is just a big made up scam by his publicist in a desperate attempt to free R. Kelly’s soul.

On the other hand, let’s talk about the happy days when you didn’t know R. Kelly liked to perform golden showers and make females hang out with him against their will. Remember little Michael Jordan’s dad saying “And when you’re all done with that … I suppose … youre gonna fly, huh?” and Jordan dunking the ball? Oh the times, they have changed. But now you know where all that Space Jam money went, and obviously it’s not enough for Mr. Kelly because he can’t purchase a damn mansion and store his collective females there.

Oh, Lord, this has been one hell of a day.  I need a ZIMA.  Google it.

Stay Classy my Nobodies.  Until we meet again.

~The Doctah~

Kid Rock Might Be Running For Senate, Because Nothing Matters Anymore

This honestly didn’t shock me. Donald Trump is the leader of the free world, so it’s going to take a little more than Kid Rock running for US Senate to actually shock me. The reason I want to bring this to everyone’s attention is because the Kid Rock for Senate website is a NATIONAL TREASURE. First off, here’s the header image:

I appreciate Kid Rock asking if we’re scared right off the bat, and the answer is yes, I’m petrified that someone like him would wield any true power. Back to the picture. As we talked about on last night’s podcast, this is a picture you could look at for hours and continually find something new to talk about. He’s wearing typical Kid Rock clothes, which consists of a leather shirt/jacket, jeans and some type of terrible hat. I say shirt/jacket because it’s clearly not just a shirt, but it’s also too thin to be a jacket. As you may have already noticed, he’s sitting next to a taxidermy moose.

I was going to try and find some type of symbolism for the moose, but I really just think it’s something he owns that was put there. Under the moose is a picture of George Washington, and above him are old timey looking documents that I’m sure have no relevance whatsoever. He definitely just got those at a yard sale. By far the best part of the picture is the trophy case behind him, clearly showcasing his little league baseball trophies. I don’t know what that has to do with running for senate, but if his slogan turns out to be ‘Make Little League Baseball Great Again’ you know where it all started from.

The current slogans on his site range from ‘In Rock We Trust’ (not bad) to ‘Pimp of the Nation’ (oh God why) and he’s also selling t-shirts, lawn signs, trucker hats and bumper stickers. What I’m saying is you need to go check out his website right now.

-Ryan

Conor McGregor Literally Wore A Fuck You Suit To The Mayweather Press Conference

Conor McGregor has no shot of beating Floyd Mayweather on August 26th. I’m not a diehard boxing or MMA fan, but it doesn’t take a human genius to tell you that a world class boxer is going to defeat a world class MMA fighter in a boxing match. With that said, I don’t know how you root for anyone other than Conor McGregor. He’s just as arrogant and insufferable as Mayweather at times, but he’s also someone who will wear a suit with the words ‘fuck you’ printed all over it. That’s so great. If it was anyone else, I’d say that they’re milking up all this publicity even though they know they’re going to lose, but I don’t think McGregor thinks that. He’s crazy enough to think he can win, but even if he doesn’t, he’s going down in a blaze of glory.

-Ryan

Andy Serkis Reading Donald Trump’s Tweets As Gollum Is Magical

Reading and following Donald Trump’s Twitter account prior to November 8th was a roller coaster, but now that he’s the leader of the free world, it’s frightening. He rarely makes sense, which is not something you’d prefer to be the main talking point of a world leader. Andy Serkis joined Stephen Colbert last night and brought a bit of levity to the whole ‘Donald Trump is probably going to end us all’ storyline by reading some of Trump’s tweets as Gollum. Skip ahead to the 4:00 minute to listen. Also, I’ll take Andy Serkis as Gollum as Trump’s new Press Secretary immediately.

-Ryan

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