The guys of Lonely Island are back at it! The creators of such jams as ‘I’m on a Boat’ and “I Just Had Sex’, have a new song and video out. Enjoy!
-MattyV
P.S. ‘The Wack Album‘ out June 11th
Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
The Four Types of People You Follow On Twitter
Four Types of Twitter Follows
I have a confession to make: I love Twitter. It’s Facebook’s cool, hot cousin and it’s taken over the world. You can’t turn on a show without seeing each person’s twitter handle flashed beneath their name plate. While Twitter is mostly a positive thing, it does have one major drawback: anyone can tweet. Personally, I like to follow a lot of celebrities and professional wrestlers, which most of the time is really cool, primarilly because of the chance to interact with people who you would normally only be able to watch on TV. For every John Krasinki and Aaron Paul, there are thousands of keyboard warriors who ruin my day. With that said, here are the four types of people you follow on Twitter.
Celebrities
(Actors, Athletes, Musicians, Comedians) – Love ’em. I’m a huge movie, TV, sports fan, so to to be able to see celebrities interact via social media has always seemed cool to me. It almost feels like I’ve entered their inner circle, and I’m step one away from Clooney’s fancy, skinny dipping parties. I rank the celebrities slightly higher than my friends, mainly because celebrities post pictures of their yachts in Cabo and my friends post pictures of each other sleeping. (FYI: Clooney and Bill Paxton don’t have Twitter, and no I’m not ok with it.)
Stage 1 & 2 Friends
96% of my Twitter followers are people I’ve met at some point in my life. (the other 4% are sex bots) I’m not a complete savage, so naturally I follow some of those people back. Stage 1 friends are the people I associate with on a day-to-day or at least semi frequent basis. Then you have the Stage 2 or outer crust friends. These are the people you see at a bar on a random Friday night and they say “it’s been too long” but in the back of your mind your thinking even if you lived to be 500 years old it would be too soon to see them. Most of them live the same life as me, and I’m sure they’re just as bored with my tweets as I am with theirs, but without them, my @ tab would never have a down arrow. Celebrities may be cooler, but friends are more important (Clooney and Bill Paxton once again are the exceptions)
News-Breakers
Not quite celebrities, definitely not friends. But an integral part of your Twitter life nonetheless. Adam Schefter may be a midget, but on draft day, he’s the tallest man in the room. Consistently breaking NFL related stories before all the major networks (including his own). Depending on the season, this type of tweeter could potentially sneak into my top spot. Whether it’s movie news (indiewire) wrestling news (ewrestling) or random celebrity insanity (TMZ), the news breakers will always hold a special place in my peanut sized heart.
Porn Stars
I had to seperate the porn stars from the celebrities. Now when I first started following porn stars on Twitter, I expected them to be like everyone else. Do they get stuffed up for a living? Yes they do. But I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and asssumed their tweets would be just like any other self respecting actress. Boy was I wrong. Some of the filthiest shit I have ever seen in words has come from the fingers of one Bibi Jones. Oh you can’t find a decent guy? Maybe don’t tweet about jamming objects into every hole of your body next time. (Keep tweeting nude pics please)
Are there more than four types of people on Twitter? No.
– Ryan
I Didn’t Know Tony Stark Was in the Yacht/RV/Van Game
Some people just have SWAG coming out of their asses. This has to be the coolest……I am not actually sure what to call it. A water bus, land boat, house van, mega boat? I’m going with mega boat. This just validates that real life Tony Starks’ and Bruce Waynes’ exist. Who else has this type of time and money? But, as awesome as this is, I have one grievance with the creator; why isn’t this also a helicopter? I mean, fuck roads, you could go anywhere in the world with this bad boy. Just toss some copter blades on it. (I’m pretty sure it’s that easy) Why don’t you think a little further outside the box next time. Good first shot though, keep at it.
-MattyV
Is it Weird this Makes Me Hungry
So this kid gets fired from Taco Bell for licking a bunch of hard taco shells. There is so many things wrong with this picture, but his tongue on those shells isn’t one of them.
- Dude, if you’re going on a licking spree in your place of business don’t post that shit to Facebook. That’s rookie fundamentals right there.
- Everyone knows licking isn’t nearly as shocking as hacking up a lung into say…the sour cream. Work up a good loogie and let that shit fly!
- Taco Bell is supposedly having an “investigation” regarding the matter. Really? It seems like a pretty open and shut case to me, but i’m no investigator. (This kid better have an airtight alibi)
- Who really gives a sweet shit?! Everyone knows you get soft tacos when you ride through for fourth meal.
-MattyV
P.S. If that kid happen to be licking Doritos Loco taco shells there would be no place on Earth he could hide from my wrath. You don’t mess with the loco.
Grab Your Wiener? Use This Cleaner!
Oh boy, do I know someone who could use this. But don’t we all? That one friend who spends 99.9% of the day with a hand(s) down their pants? If you don’t know what i’m talking about, take a look down, because you’re that friend.
-MattyV
Photo Cred: Peter Hanney
Conrad Farnsworth is a Cocky Bastard
Conrad Farnsworth is the cockiest high school nerd I’ve ever seen.
Just get a load of this guy.
So Conrad here, makes a nuclear reactor at home and submits it into his science fair (impressive) and then proceeds to be kicked out of the fair entirely. This arrogant piece of crap has been in too many science fairs! So I don’t care if you’ve built a homemade atomic collider under your entire neighborhood, you’re too greedy Conrad! Let the kid with the vinegar volcano or the poorly crafted model of the solar system have a chance. You’re winning too much.
Also you’re attending the South Dakota School of Mines next year. What the fuck? Why aren’t you going to MIT or something. This stinks to high heaven of plagiarism.
P.S. it could be plagiarism because he’s one of 15 high schoolers to accomplish this feat. I’m sorry what? How has this happened 15 times? All
15 of these kids better be on an FBI watch list…
The Hulkster Endorses The Bruins, May As Well Have Jesus On Our Side
From Toucher & Rich: Hulk Hogan’s Message for the Bruins
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2013/05/31/toucher-rich-hulk-hogans-message-for-the-bruins/
There’s no denying that Hulk Hogan is a legend, an icon, and one hell of a model American. Well that last one is debatable, but how does the saying go? Greatness finds greatness? Ok maybe, I made it up, but when a guy like Hulk Hogan puts someone over, you know they’re destined for greatness. I mean yes, the interview was the typical Hogan schtick with all of the “brothers” and “dudes”, but man can this dude draw a crowd. Dammit. Also, I’m starting to think this guy is just permanently in character now, which isn’t a terrible thing. Aside from holding back my guy Y2J, Hogan recognizes talent, and when he says the Bruins are gonna run wild on you, you better batten down the hatches.
I can’t say I’m surprised the Bruins took game 1 in Pittsburgh, and to be honest I wasn’t expecting it, but knew it was possible. The Hulkster probably saw it from a mile away. What I do know is that wasn’t even the best hockey Boston can bring and we still came out with the W. And another thing I know? You don’t bet against Hulk Hogan and with him on our side anything is possible. Let’s go B’s!
+Berno
P.S. What are the chances we can get him to play the National Anthem on guitar alongside Rene Rancourt on Wednesday? Let’s make that happen.
Robb Stark is a Baby Back Bitch
Game of Thrones spoiler alert.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you last night’s episode surprised me. I didn’t know when or where Robb and his dime piece were gonna die but it was pretty obvious they weren’t long for the world. But seriously that’s how you go out? C’mon man. Your mother at least took someone with her. You just stood there like a baby back bitch while your woman got stabbed repeatedly in the baby maker. Your father would’ve been ashamed. Ned would’ve taken at least five goons with him and if not, he would’ve gotten to Frey and chopped both his head and his one off.
Anyways that’s what you get when you mess with my boy Tywin.
Which brings me to my next point. If Tywin Lannister get killed by anything short of a dragon I’ll quit the show. Only thing that kills Tywin is a dragon or I’m out. Your move, Thrones.
-Sean Lite-
