Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Matt’s Follow Friday
It’s that time of the week again! Here are my picks.
Howard Stern (The King of All Media)
Is anyone excited that Jake Peavy is going to the Red Sox? I don’t know who Jake Peavy is – I just wanted to sound manly.
— Howard Stern (@HowardStern) August 1, 2013
Isa Adney (Public speaker and author of the blogs “Community College Success & How to get a job without a resume)
I love #Boston. So happy right now. 🙂 #pearsonstudentspic.twitter.com/7Uo8gfvUqD
— Isa Adney (@IsaAdney) August 1, 2013
Will Sasso (Vine and Twitter funny man, orignally of MADtv)
Arnold Schwarzenegger Driving Pt. 25 https://t.co/GVApu3m3qR
— Will Sasso (@WillSasso) July 30, 2013
Classic Google Search “Mixup”
Michele Catalano was looking for information online about pressure cookers. Her husband, in the same time frame, was Googling backpacks. Wednesday morning, six men from a joint terrorism task force showed up at their house to see if they were terrorists. Which prompts the question: How’d the government know what they were Googling?
A family spending some down time on good ‘ol Google get pinned for being terrorists. I’ve seen this story 100 times…wait…no I haven’t. Ok, this is getting ridiculous. You’re going to sit there and tell me this is the best way to catch a terrorist? By looking at what people search on Google? Let me tell something, you are going to get some pretty strange combinations out there. I mean, imagine doing this in a college neighborhood? Google search history: How to make Ramen Noodles, porn, porn, wikipedia, porn, spark notes, porn, porn, wwe, espn, porn. All you would find are porn addicted plagiarizers. Government, breathe in deep, and take another crack at it.
-MattyV
PS- To test this out I am going to have my roommate search “places to buy harpoon guns” while I search “endangered species habitats” in the other room. PITA is going to burn my house down.
PSS- Search history on a friends’ phone (no lie): “Danny Trejo’s net worth, Miley Cyrus tits”. One right after the other. What do you think’s going on at his house? Crack that code.
Movie Trailer Watch! – Bad Grandpa
The guys at Dickhouse Productions have done it again! From the guys who brought you the Jackass trilogy, I give you, Bad Grandpa! The trailer tells you everything you need to know about Johnny Knoxville dressing up as an old man and terrorizing America with his grandson. I swear this humor will never get old to me.
In theaters October 25th!
-MattyV
PS- That kid is going to be a star!
Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones Are Leaving Pawnee Forever
Parks and Recreation’s on-again/off-again relationship between Rob Lowe’s Chris Traeger and Rashida Jones’ Ann Perkins will be coming to a head this season: because the two actors will be leaving the beloved NBC comedy. Sources have confirmed Lowe’s and Jones’ departures, which will take place in the show’s 13th episode (likely landing during February sweeps). The season ended with Chris and Ann continuing to try to have a baby together — let’s assume that plot will help usher the two out of Pawnee under happy circumstances. Jones has been on Parks and Rec playing Leslie’s (Amy Poehler) best friend since the show premiered in April 2009. Rob Lowe joined the cast near the end of Season 2 in what was meant to be a guest arc, but turned into a regular role. Both actors will continue to be busy: Jones has a development deal with Warner Bros. Television with her Celeste & Jesse Forever writing partner, Will McCormack; Lowe will play John F. Kennedy in NatGeo’s upcoming Killing Kennedy and will surely pop up on series television again in the future. Representatives of Jones and Lowe did not immediately return emails and calls about the departures. NBC had no comment. The hour-long premiere of Parks and Rec, filmed in London, airs on Sept. 26.
Update: Through the show’s publicist, Parks and Rec’s executive producer Mike Schur sent the following statement: “The news about Rob and Rashida is true — they will be leaving the show after the 13th episode of the upcoming season six. We’ve been working on their storyline (on and off) for four seasons now, and heading into this year, with the two of them contemplating parenthood, it felt like a natural time to move them into the next phase. We absolutely love both Rashida and Rob, and will be sad to see them go. Rashida was one of the very first people we knew we wanted in the cast, and as important as Ann is to Leslie (and vice-versa), she’ll certainly never be far from Pawnee. Rob we initially thought we could only have for six or eight episodes, and we couldn’t be happier that he will have stuck around for 75. They are wonderful, funny, committed actors, they’ve been a huge part of the Parks and Rec family, and we think we have a great Pawnee send-off in the works for them.” – Buzzfeed
Well this sucks. Goodbye Chris Traeger. And goodbye my sweet, beautiful Ann. Parks and Rec certainly thrives due to it’s multi-talented ensemble cast, but it’s still sad to see two great characters (and actors) go. The ageless wonder, Rob Lowe, delighted us for over 3 seasons as Chris Traeger, the fitness obsessed auditor we all grew to love. No comedic character in recent memory was able to change the way a single world was spoken as much as Rob Lowe changed the word “literally”. He was an auditor, a city manager, a boyfriend, and one super positive dude. I sure am glad Chris didn’t die as a baby. Rashida Jones was already one of my favorite TV actresses due to her role as Karen in The Office, but her role as Leslie Knope’s sidekick Ann Perkins solidified her as a bonafide comedy star. When we first met Ann in season 1, she was dating resident slacker Andy Dwyer. Over the next 5 seasons, she struck up many romances, (including an on again, off again romance with Chris) nursed people back to health, and became a Pawnee public official when she was named public relations director for the health department. Fittingly, Ann was trying to get pregnant through vitro fertilization during last season, and who else but her old pal Chris was called upon to be the father. According to executive producer Mike Schur, both Lowe and Jones are expected to leave the show after episode 13 of the new season, where they will receive a “great pawnee sendoff”. Fly away my sweet prince and princess. Fly away and be free.
– Ryan
Brian Williams Can’t Stop, and Won’t Stop, Rapping
This is rapidly becoming my favorite skit on “Late Night” with Jimmy Fallon. What happens is simple, Jimmy’s editing team makes anchor, Brian Williams, rap different songs. First it was Snoop, then it was NWA, but with Marky Mark, himself, on as a guest, Fallon had to hit up one of the Funky Bunch’s classic tunes: Good Vibrations. Enjoy.
-MattyV
Netflix Must Watch: “Roman Polanski: Wanted And Desired”
It’s fascinating to think how huge certain stories would be if covered by the 21st century media. The same media that glorifies criminals and turns murder cases into spectacles would no doubt have a field day with the famed director. I couldn’t tell you if many people in my age bracket (20-25) have ever heard of Roman Polanski, but I can tell you I’ve never had a conversation about him with friends. Although his story is one of the most fascinating and disturbing in American film history, it seems as if his struggle has been put on the back burner in exchange for the constant updates on the Bieber’s and Lohan’s of the world. From the tragic murder of his wife, to the scandal that forced him to flee the United States, Wanted and Desired provides an in depth look at a star’s fall from grace. Do yourself a favor and block off 90 minutes of your time for Marina Zenovich’s documentary. You’ll be glad you did.
– Ryan
Clooney Quietly Spying on The Asshole Leader Of Sudan
“Jennifer Aniston, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Connery, Meg Ryan, Dennis Hopper, George Clooney — and of course, John Travolta with this recent gem — these are just a few A-List celebrities who have pocketed big dollars starring in foreign commercials. I’m trying to make movies in my life … that last longer than opening weekend,” Clooney told Newsweek in 2012, explaining why he does these ads. “That’s it, that’s my whole goal. I don’t have to make money; I do films for scale and then, you know, I go do coffee commercials overseas, and I make a lot of money so I get to live in a nice house. … And I don’t give a sh-t. And people will go, ‘Oh that’s a sellout.’ And you know what? F–k you.” While Stacy Keibler’s ex may have made light of being called a “sellout,” he’s putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to spending what he earns. Many stars pocket their ridiculously large paychecks, but George — who appears in commercials for Nespresso — said he’s spending the cash on a satellite aimed at Sudan. “Most of the money I make on the [Nespresso] commercials I spend keeping a satellite over the border of North and South Sudan to keep an eye on Omar al-Bashir [the Sudanese dictator charged with war crimes at The Hague],” the Oscar winner said in Paris on Tuesday. “Then [Omar al-Bashir] puts out a statement saying that I’m spying on him and how would I like it if a camera was following me everywhere I went and I go ‘Well, welcome to my life Mr. War Criminal.’ I want the war criminal to have the same amount of attention that I get. I think that’s fair.” But don’t let the Clooney’s humor and charm take away from what he’s really doing. The Satellite Sentinel Project, Clooney’s spy program, aims to use advanced satellite imagery to monitor potential human rights abuses in Sudan. The SSP tracks movements of Omar al-Bashir’s army and attempts to warn civilians in advance of attacks. Clooney’s passion for Sudanese satellites is hardly random. In March 2012, he and his father Nick Clooney were arrested during a protest outside of the Sudanese Embassy in Washington DC. The protesters accused Omar al-Bashir of provoking a humanitarian crisis and blocking food and aid from entering the Nuba Mountains in the county’s border region with South Sudan. Clooney told The Associated Press that through his actions he hoped to draw attention to the crisis in Sudan.” – Yahoo
You don’t violate a nation’s human rights. Not on Clooney’s watch. He’ll do a million coffee commercials and build a spy satellite that monitor’s your abusive ass 24/7. Oh you don’t like that Mr. Dictator? Clooney says fuck you. First he spies on you. Then you complain about him. And then he wins. He’s a modern day Ghandi, except much handsomer. All jokes aside the guy really is amazing. He could easily pocket his fortune and live on some island with models feeding him grapes. Instead he’s building spy satellites to call out human rights violator’s. You go George Clooney.
– Ryan
P.S. Here’s a photo of Clooney being arrested outside the Sudanese embassy in 2012. Intensity. Integrity. Intelligence.



