Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Why Pete Carroll and I Should be Best Friends – Reason #34
It’s game week! And… Shark week!!!
— Pete Carroll (@PeteCarroll) August 5, 2013
Just a 60 year-old man who gets as excited for Shark Week as my 6 year-old cousin. An all-around good guy who brings his sincere excitement everywhere he goes.
-MattyV
PS- I don’t buy into the hype of Shark Week, but I won’t knock people who get excited about it.
PSS- You know he loved ‘Sharknado’
Seems Like a Good Time to Re Post This – What I Learned This Weekend: I Hate Yard Sales
I came to a startling realization this weekend: I despise yard sales. Everywhere I drove on Saturday and Sunday, I saw tables set up on front lawns filled with lamps and toasters and a bunch of other useless crap. All I could think about while driving by these yard sales is how crazy the people doing this are. When I was younger, my parent’s would have yard sales, but I was a kid and I was forced against my will to be apart of it. Now that I’m a fully functional adult, I can’t think of something worse than spending a beautiful Saturday afternoon sitting on my front lawn waiting for strangers to come onto my property and buy shit I don’t want anymore. How has eBay and Craigslist not destroyed the yard sale game? What kind of a person actually wants to interact with strangers who haggle you down from $3 to $2.25 for an old watch that can’t even tell time? Psychopaths. Only psychopath’s would want to do that. Next time someone brings up the idea of a yard sale, tell them to put their shit on eBay, grab a case of beer and enjoy your summer Saturdays like a real American.
– Ryan
P.S. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter @averagenobodies. Unless you like yard sales. Your kind isn’t welcome.
Things you Should be Sure of #242: Marriage Proposal
David just got his heart ripped from his chest, and it’s his own fault. I have never proposed to anyone (sober at least) so I wouldn’t know exactly what it’s like moments before. What I can say is that when I (or if I) decide to propose, I am going to be damn sure of what the answer is going to be before I do it. It’s not rocket science, you have to know if she’s willing lock it up with you or not. This seems like very elementary intuition, but apparently David wasn’t in the same relationship she was. There is no way you go down on one knee, especially in a public place, without knowing the outcome already. $100 dollars on black? sure why not, but there is no way I gamble on the humiliation this guy is feeling. David, this could have all been avoided if you just read the signs, like that fact that she had absolutely no intention of getting hitched to you. Tough blow man, but it’s your doing.
-MattyV
PS- Hey David, if your ever in Providence, strip club on me.
Johnny Football Selling His Johnny Hancock – WHO GIVES A SHIT
BREAKING: NCAA investigating Johnny Manziel for allegedly profiting from autographs. If found that Manziel committed a violation, his eligibility to play this season could be in question. -SportsCenter
So Johnny Football was profiting from his autographs, and his season is in jeopardy because of it? Is this what the NCAA is seriously going to spend there time investigating? I know that this is a rule (a stupid rule), but in reality, who is this hurting? So what you’re saying is that it’s fine that colleges make millions of dollars off of these kids playing football, but they can’t make a little cash on the side for selling their personal brand? That is what they are doing, selling their brand, that they have created, and that people love. Take Johnny Football here: care-free, fun-loving, and a beast at the game of football. It’s a brand everyone has come to love, and that’s why he can make money from his autograph. But, people will still whine that he will be making lots of money in the NFL eventually. To those people I say: “Jelly Much?”. Stop being jealous of Johnny Manziel, because if you’re good at something you should never do it for free. Hell, if I was him i’d be selling a lot more than autographs, if you know what I mean….ok, too far… i’ll stop there.
-MattyV
Mr. Football, if the NCAA decides to be a bunch of whiny babies and suspend you, please think about joining my flag football team. Just throwing it out there.
Matt’s Music Monday – Vampire Weekend
Today’s Music Monday takes a look at Vampire Weekend’s newest album, ‘Modern Vampires Of The City’, and the single from that album, Diane Young. Not only do the boys from NY City produce a jam on this one, but the video looks like it was a blast to film. Enjoy the music video, and check out the rest of the album for free on Spotify.
-MattyV
Ellen Hosting The Oscars? SCHWING!
It’s official: I’m hosting the #Oscars! I’d like to thank @TheAcademy, my wife Portia and, oh dear, there goes the orchestra.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) August 2, 2013
boom. baby.
-Ryan
Matt’s Moron of the Month: The City of Detroit
Wow, already August? Time for me to declare July’s “Moron of the Month”. If you live under a rock the city of Detroit, the whole fucking city, declared bankruptcy. Detroit, the once booming automotive city has taken quite the fall from grace since the days Henry Ford ran the show. Ten “8 Mile” sequels couldn’t help this city now. This is the single largest bankruptcy event (is that a thing? bankruptcy event? Yeah, i’m going with it) in American history. I’m not sure how they are going to get out of there 18+ billion dollar debt; maybe they could start a bake sale.
Also, it’s not bankruptcy unless you DECLARE it, like Michael Scott
-MattyV
PS- Hey Red Wings, you better start winning more Stanley Cups so people have something to live for in Detroit.
I Defy Anyone To Beat My Celebrity Birthday Triple Threat
A few buddies and I were at the bar last night and in between rounds of trivia we decided to look up which celebrities shared the same birthdays as us. Needless to say my triple threat blew people away. I had strangers coming up to me wanting my autograph. The waitress picked up my tab. This kind of makes me a famous person right? When you share such an important day with three icons of the silver and movie screens, a little bit of that magic rubs off on you. Johnny Depp is a stud. A perfect mix of a franchise guy and a risk taker, and one goddamn beautiful man. Natalie Portman is a fox, and one pretty talented actress. Even if I stop here, I feel pretty confident that I have most people beat in the fictional celebrity birthday competition. But my foot is on the gas and I’m cruising down the freeway, so it’s only right that the the world’s greatest human being was also born on June 9th: Michael J. Marty McFly Fox. Enormous child star and centerpiece of the greatest franchise in movie history. You think Parkinson’s is going to slow him down? He spits in Parkinson’s face and makes it say his name. Now he’s back to his roots with the Michael J. Fox Show, premiering in September. I always knew June 9th was a great day, but this just reinforces the fact that I have the best birthday ever. Anyone care to debate? Lay your top three on me, but be forewarned, I got Dick Vitale and Tedy Bruschi in my back pocket.
– Ryan
