Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
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Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Netflix Must Watch: Storm Chasers
Remember all those tornadoes a few months ago that destroyed entire states? Well here are the people who actually chase these bad boys down in the name of insanity and science. It’s easy to be a couch potato observer and call these people dumb and crazy, but they have bigger balls than a pit bull ready to breed, so I’m going to save my judgment for better things. Perfect rainy day marathon show, as Netflix has the first four season in full. While they’re no Bill Paxton from Twister, they still risk life and limb tracking these forces and nature, and that’s good enough for me.
– ryanfoges
Great Lincoln’s Beard: Ron Burgundy Is Writing A Memoir
“Ron Burgundy’s “classy” life story will soon be coming to book shelves. A memoir about San Diego’s fictional Action 4 News Team anchor was announced on Wednesday to coincide with the upcoming release of “Anchorman: The Legend Continues,” a sequel to the 2004 hit comedy starring Will Ferrell, “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.” “Let Me Off at the Top! My Classy Life and Other Musings” will chronicle Burgundy’s beginnings, from his early childhood to his rise as a star journalist. No topics are off limits, including Burgundy’s many love conquests and his beloved dog, Baxter. “The list of legendary American broadcast news journalists is short: Edward R. Murrow, Walter Cronkite, and, of course, Ron Burgundy,” said Mauro Di Preta, vice president and editor-in-chief at the memoir’s publishing house, Crown Archetype. “The printed page will allow Ron to tell his story in a much more intimate way. ‘Let Me Off at the Top!’ will be a classic for years to come.” “Burgundy” also has high hopes for the memoir. “I don’t know if it’s the greatest autobiography ever written. I’m too close to the work,” Burgundy said in a press release, adding,”I will tell you this much: The first time I sat down and read this thing…I cried like a goddamn baby, and you can take that to the bank!” “Let Me Off at the Top! My Classy Life and Other Musings” will be released in digital and print formats on Nov. 19.” – CBS News
Will Ferrell and company sure do know how to build anticipation for a movie. Apparently the book, titled Let Me Off At The Top! My Classy Life and Other Musings, will document Ron Burgundy’s entire life, from childhood to his exploits as an anchorman. I have a feeling we’ve seen the last of Will Ferrell until Anchorman premieres December 20th. He’s 100% Ron Burgundy now. While I can’t see many other movies adopting this type of marketing strategy, one thing is for sure: no one transforms themselves into the characters they play better than Will Ferrell.
– Ryan
Is It September 9th Yet? I’m Ready for Peter Berg’s Monday Night Football
“On Sept. 9, as the Philadelphia Eagles prepare to take on the Washington Redskins in the first Monday Night Football game of the NFL season, ESPN viewers won’t be asked whether they are ready for some football. Instead, they’ll be treated to a montage of Darth Vader, Ronald Reagan and the daredevil who jumped from outer space in 2012. The creator of the new MNF opening segment is Peter Berg, the filmmaker and football fanatic best known for the Friday Night Lights film and TV series. Berg won the job after pitching the network on the idea of packing 44 years of culture and football history into a 90-second curtain-raiser for the weekly game. “Whether it be presidents being elected, great films, 9/11, Katrina — these are moments that we all remember culturally and somehow dealt with on Monday Night Football,” Berg tells THR. The new opening, which has been in the works for nine months, references Pac-Man, Bruce Springsteen and Titanic, among other major cultural forces. ESPN execs have been looking for a permanent opening since dropping Hank Williams Jr.‘s classic “Are You Ready for Some Football” intro in 2011 after the singer analogized President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler. ESPN executive producer Jed Drake says at the end of last season, the network quietly put out requests for proposals to creative firms before Berg offered the timeline concept. Berg was hired and worked with Los Angeles-based design firm Ignition Creative on the opening, which moves from the first MNF game between the New York Jets and Cleveland Browns on September 21, 1970 to wide receiver Calvin Johnson’s catch for the Detroit Lions that set the NFL single-season receiving record in December 2012. Along the way, MNF’s familiar “Heavy Action” theme music plays, and classic game moments are dispersed with cultural ones. Of course, making the cut was John Lennon‘s appearance on MNF in 1974 where he tells Howard Cosell about the experience, “It makes rock concerts look like tea parties.” The plan is to regularly tweak the opening, adding and subtracting historical moments. “We hope this will spark debate about which cultural touchstones should be in it,” says Drake. One aspect of the montage that could generate chatter is the Disney quotient. ESPN’s parent company is represented by Star Wars and Indiana Jones (Lucasfilm), Toy Story (Pixar) and Iron Man (Marvel). Are the inclusions a sly promotional tactic, or was it just easier to license rights from a sister company? Berg says it helped “for sure” to have the Disney archive at his disposal, adding that not all studios were enthusiastic about helping promote football on a Disney network. He notes, “There was some stuff from The Matrix we had trouble clearing.” For Berg, the chance to work on the MNF opening brought back fond memories of watching the games with his father during his childhood. “We weren’t allowed to watch television,” he says about school nights. “But we were allowed to watch Monday Night Football. So it always had this special, secret holiday association for me.” – Hollywood Reporter
It’s about god damn time. It only took ESPN 50 years to get a country bumpkin racist out of their MNF montage and put it in the hands of a legitimate filmmaker. “Are You Ready For Some Football” was one of the dumbest opening themes for any show ever. Obviously I’m ready for football Hank. Why else would I be watching the damn channel. Now the theme is in the hands of Peter Berg, the creator of Friday Night Lights, and the director of one of my favorite 30 for 30 films, A Kings Ransom. He’s one of the more underrated minds in Hollywood, and judging by this interview, his creative juices seem to be in overdrive. If you think Monday Night Football is only about football then your clearly missing the bigger picture. Over the years, it has become as big a part of pop culture as any show on TV. Logically speaking, it’s impossible for any show that’s been on for over 50 years, sports or not, to not influence society, . While we’re going to have to wait until September 9th to see the entire opening montage, Berg did drop us some hints. “Heavy Action” will be the background music, and the pictures featured in the opening will parallel pop culture and Monday Night Football throughout the years (photos included above). If this doesn’t get you ready for football, then I don’t know what will.
– Ryan
P.S. If that Darth Vader/Terry Bradshaw two face picture isn’t the background of your computer by the end of the day then I know everything I need to know about you as a person.
Monsterblog Wednesday: Our Favorite Fantasy Football Team Names
We’re not what you would call brilliant men. The good Lord didn’t bless up with fully functioning brains. But we’ll be damned if we can’t come up with some creative names for our fantasy football teams. Each year around mid August, men come together, in bars and basements alike, for one beautiful cause: their fantasy football draft. Should you go running back running back? Is Adrian Peterson trustworthy enough to be picked #1? The decisions are endless, but it all starts with one thing: your team name. Some are creative, some are funny, and some are downright genius. Don’t have a team name yet? Check out our list of fantasy football teams for the upcoming season.
RyanFoges’s Top 3
1. Tracy Chapman’s Fast Cars
Really has nothing to do with football, but when you include one of the greatest songs of our generation into your team name, only good things can happen.
2. Rob Gronkowski’s School For Kids Who Can’t Read Good
He may be legally retarded, but the man can play football. With this name, your team will be like Gronk himself, the biggest wildcard in fantasy football, especially when you combine his streak of injuries and his blatant refusal to rehab them correctly.
3. Red White & Drew Bledsoe’s
Drew Bledsoe is the coolest name in NFL history. America is the greatest country in the world. With this team name, fantasy football glory is yours.
MattyV’s Top 3
1. Attempted Murder
A team name dripping with double meaning. I bet you didn’t know that a group of crows is called a murder.
2. John Mayer’s Bed Post
John Mayer’s bed post is notched with all-stars and so is your fantasy team.
3. Lieutenant Dan’s Platoon
Lt. Dan Taylor might have lost his legs in the war, but you won’t lose a game with this team name. Naming your team after this American hero is the first step towards greatness.
Jo Jo Offerman Is Singing The National Anthem At Summerslam, Which Reminds Me: Isn’t Her Dad Insane?
Jo Jo Offerman, a WWE developmental Diva and star of the E! show Total Divas, is singing the national anthem this Sunday at WWE Summerslam. She’s beautiful, a great singer and very talented in the ring.
Pretty normal news story right? Except for the fact that her father, former MLB player Jose Offerman, is insane. In 2007, he was arrested for assault after hitting a pitcher and catcher IN THE HEAD WITH A BAT.
Now I’m sure after somebody does that, they’re never allowed to play the game again. Wrong. Three years later, Offerman punched an umpire while disputing a call.
Those of you who are going to say “well he didn’t actually connect with the punch” are really missing the point. Following this incident, Jose was banned for life by the Dominican Winter League, which apparently means nothing, considering the ban was lifted in February of this year.
Let’s hope Jo Jo does the national anthem justice this Sunday, and pray to God she leaves her dad at home.
– Ryan
So Grosse Point Woods-Shores Is Going To Win The Little League World Series
Might as well just hand Michigan the title now, because apparently Andre The Giant has risen from the grave and now plays little league baseball. 6’2, 200 pounds at 12 years old seems unfathomable. A little league mound is 45 feet away, which means his hand could basically tickle your chin after he releases the ball. In his first qualifying game, Lorkowski struck out 10 batters and hit two home runs. Ya don’t say? That’s what happens when you let a monster play with children. The monster wins.
– Ryan
P.S. I’ll give credit where credit is due. Swag Daddy is a cool ass nickname.
Monday Night Raw Recap – 8/12/13
Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett w/ guest ref Brad Maddox
Good match. Daniel Bryan get’s “cheated” out of the win with the Maddox fast count, yet still looks good as he got in a lot of offense. He hasn’t had a bad match in what seems like years. 
Orton vs. Sandow
Really good match. I wouldn’t mind these two feuding, as Sandow could carry the feud on the mic and Orton Is still super over with the crowd. Orton wins after Cody provides the distraction and Sandow gets RKO’d. 
PS- Love Sandow’s briefcase.
Sneaky good Ambrose/Shield promo I can’t see Ambrose losing the US Title anytime soon
Great Lesnar promo! Need more of those. Followed by a CM Punk promo where he quotes one of my favorite TV characters of all time, Omar from the The Wire: “you come at the king, you best not miss”.
Khali and Natalya beat Big E Langston & AJ Lee Filler match, with the ref missing the original submission finish. Probably the last time you see that ref.
VKM/Maddox/HHH promo Maddox as the special guest ref at SS? Or is it HHH? Judging from the pedigree, looks it’s going to be the three H’s.
P.S. Vince’s suit. Male Woof.
You can always tell the worth of a man by the way he takes a pedigree. #wwe @arda_ocal
— Mattchew (@MattyV1989) August 13, 2013
Kane vs. Titus O’Neil Kane wins a short match with a choke slam. Here comes the Wyatt’s! Usual entrance, with Bray Wyatt sitting in the rocking chair, while Rowan and Harper enter the ring and stalk their prey. Swerve! Kane sneaks out of the ring, and with the flick of his wrists makes fire come out of the ring posts! Quick, effective segment. Can’t wait for the ring of fire match at Summerslam.
P.S. The goat mask that Erick Rowan rocks is going to be a fashion staple for the Fall of 2013. You can either jump on board or be left in the dust.
Alberto Del Rio def. Kofi Kingston
So glad Kofi is back. Another really good match. Del Rio makes Kofi tap out, but Kofi looked really good in this match. I’m also glad he now wears pants to the ring.
Christian Promo Could it really be his last match? I really hope not.
Zeb Colter and The Real Americans I don’t think there is anyone in the WWE who is better than Zeb on the mic right now. “Letting immigrants cross our boarders like a hoard of rats.”…”if California floats into the Pacific Ocean that is 2.5 million reasons why America is a better place to live.” He could turn any crowd on himself. 
Also, can we talk about Cesaro’s flag cape? Pure power moves all-around for the Real Americans.
The Real Americans vs. The Usos
Decent match, with The Uso’s picking up the win with a roll up. I’m not sure where they’re going with this storyline, but as much as I like the Uso’s, I’d love to see Cesaro and Swagger got a shot at the tag titles.
Miz TV featuring Cena and Daniel Bryan
Great back and forth. Bryan is slowly becoming a great promo guy and Cena always has an awesome rebuttal. I don’t think HHH needs to be involved, which goes to show how good the lead up has been. They’ve done a great job hyping this match and I think it’ll be the best match of the night on Sunday.
Fandango vs. R-Truth (kind of)
Fandango and R-Truth have a weird dance off. I have to imagine the Miz TV segment ran long so they rushed this one. At least we got to see sweet Summer Rae 
WOOF
20 Man Battle Royal – Winner faces US Champion Dean Ambrose at Summerslam
Normal battle royal match. Cool spot with Kofi, Cesaro and Swagger towards the end of the match as Kofi got thrown over the top rope but held onto Cesaro and his feet dangled but never touched the ground ala HBK at the Royal Rumble. RVD and Mark Henry are your final two participants, with RVD picking up the win. The Shield’s music hits, but before they can take out Henry and RVD, the Big Show returns! Could setup a Big Show/Henry vs. Reigns/Rollins match.
Paul Heyman vs. CM Punk
Heyman comes out and runs down Punk on the mic, eventually bringing out Brock Lesnar. He tells Punk he has two choices, either be the “smart coward” and stay backstage and live to fight another day (Summerslam), or be the “stupid hero” and get his ass kicked tonight. Punk’s music hits, but there is no sign of Punk on the entrance ramp. He comes out through the crowd, grabs a camera and bashes Brock over the head. Lesnar takes head shots better than anybody. He beats Brock down with a chair, then chases Heyman up the ramp, where is greeted by Curtis Axel, who gets a GTS on the ramp for his troubles. RAW ends with Punk standing tall and Lesnar licking his wounds outside of the ring.
Overall a really good RAW, with several solid matches and an unbelievable back and forth promo between Cena and Bryan. If you weren’t excited for Summerslam before RAW, you should certainly be excited now.
A Look Inside The Oregon Duck’s New 68-Mil Facility
Chip Kelly is going to want his old job back.
-MattyV
PS- This puts Bama’s 9-mil facility to shame! Makes them look like broke hillbillys.
