“Taylor Swift has to deal with guys not loving her back pretty often, but this time around she’s got one guy who just won’t get out of her hair — and who’s straight up scary. The ‘Everything Has Changed’ singer reportedly has a full-blown stalker, and the perp was arrested after he tried passing her security guard a love letter while trespassing on her Rhode Island property. Swift, who’s dated men ranging from older (John Mayer) to barely legal (Conor Kennedy) has standards, and 55-year-old Joseph Bernatche didn’t meet them. The Portland, Maine man was arrested on July 27 for allegedly trespassing on Swift’s palatial property, something his lawyer denies. “We deny that Mr. Bernatche was ever on Ms. Swift’s property,” Bernatche’s attorney Michael J. Robinson told Radar Online. “The security guards have a job to do and I don’t blame them. They do what they think they have to do. In this case, I think they were just being overly zealous, overly cautious.” So what exactly happened? According to Robinson, not much. “Mr. Bernatche showed up and parked at the house next to Taylor Swift’s,” Robinson says. “He was carrying a note [with his phone number on it]. He signals to the security guard to come down and hands him the note. He says, ‘I’m not here to trespass, I’m just here to deliver this note. If you would kindly give this to Taylor Swift, that’s my sole purpose for being here.’” Right. Does that sound like any conversation you’ve ever heard? Robinson continued, “The security guard reads the note, gets the license plate, and my client walks away … [Bernatche] was driving away from Ms. Swift’s property when he was stopped and arrested by the Westerly Police.” Though Bernatche has a history of trespassing on Swift’s Rhode Island property, Robin asserts that proving such a case won’t be easy for the cops — so the likely disturbed man will may get off scott-free.” – Star Crush

This is why we can’t have nice things. Rhode Island’s beautiful beaches finally lure a celebrity in her prime and now every middle aged psychopath is trying to scare her away. I love how the lawyer is trying to play this off as a normal person move. Normal people don’t do this. They don’t get caught trespassing numerous times then park their car next door and try to deliver a note with their phone number on it. Also, normal people don’t look like this:

Until recently I was off the T-Swift bandwagon, but now that all these crazies are trying to abduct her, I think she needs me back. Hey Tay, I’m driving the bus again baby. I can be casual yet fierce, as shown by this picture of me and my long toothed friend.

Worry free times indeed.

– Ryan

P.S. If this song wasn’t playing as Joe was walking towards the security gate then I’ve lost all my faith in humanity