Category Archives: Average Blog Posts

Average Blog Posts

Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.

Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.

Grand Theft Auto V Official Trailer Is Decent

Jesus Christ. I thought I had no social life before I saw this trailer. Looks I’ll be king of the hermits this fall/winter/forever.

– Ryan

So Armpits4August Is A Thing

(Source)  And now, the female answer to Movember: British women are growing out their pit hair to support Armpits4August, a new initiative to raise money and awareness for those suffering from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), a condition so little known that spell-checker wants me to fix its name. According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of PCOS include weight gain as well as excess hair on the face and body (hence the gesture of growing out one’s body hair to support PCOS sufferers — although a monthlong weight-gain initiative could be interesting too). Armpits4August’s website says that up to 10 percent of women are affected by the disease — which is a lot, considering how little is known about it.

Armpits4August was founded in 2012, so it’s still quite small and still restricted mainly to the U.K. Although its participants only number in the hundreds so far, the Telegraph is already billing it as the ladies’ version of Movember, an initiative in which men grow mustaches during the month of November to raise awareness of men’s health issues. Global awareness of Movember has exploded since its 2003 inception, raising nearly $118 million last year with well over a million mustachioed participants.

 

There has to be a better way to raise awareness for this disease. HAS TO. I understand one of the symptoms is “excess hair on the face and body”, but is growing out your armpit hair really the look to combat that? That picture of the woman with the hairy pits is haunting. Can’t we just set up a telethon or a website to spread the word. Basically do anything but grow out your armpit hair. And let’s stop with the comparisons to guys with mustaches. Yes they were cool in the 70s but some guys can still pull them off. I can’t think of one woman who I’d want to see with a barrel of hair under her arm.

– Ryan

Leave It To Hookers To Save Americas Economy

(Source) Recession-sensitive hookers at Nevada’s brothels are offering customers deep discounts — and promising more “bang for the buck.”

“All the girls are independent contractors, self-employed, and some of them are absolutely reducing prices,” Dennis Hof, who runs seven Nevada brothels, told The Post.

Hof owns the desert sex emporium Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nev., where one employee said she’s game.

“I offer a lot more specials and discounts and incentives for people to come in to see me,” Bunny Ranch prostitute Brooke Taylor, 32, told Bloomberg News. “People are looking for deals.”

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Just when you think America is falling apart, hookers come in and save the day. The Oxford dictionary may be trying to destroy us from within but hookers in Nevada will have none of that. In a time of crisis, we no longer look to politicians or community leaders, we look to those brave women who sexually satisfy men no other woman can bare to touch. I can’t think of a situation that fits the saying “more bang for your buck” better than these hookers with a heart of a gold.

– Ryan

P.S. Brooke Taylor needs to work on her prostitute name. You’re in the big leagues now honey.

Twerk Is A Word Now

(Source) Twerking, the rump-busting up-and-down dance move long beloved on America’s hip-hop scene, has officially gone mainstream. It’s got the English dictionary entry to prove it.

Britain’s Oxford Dictionaries said the rapid-fire gyrations employed by U.S. pop starlet Miley Cyrus to bounce her way to the top of the charts had become increasingly visible in the past 12 months and would be added to its publications under the entry: “Twerk, verb.”

Although Cyrus’s eye-popping moves at Monday’s MTV Video Music Awards may have been many viewers’ first introduction to the practice, Oxford Dictionaries’ Katherine Connor Martin said “twerking” was some two decades old.

“There are many theories about the origin of this word, and since it arose in oral use, we may never know the answer for sure,” Martin said. “We think the most likely theory is that it is an alteration of work, because that word has a history of being used in similar ways, with dancers being encouraged to ‘work it.’ The ‘t’ could be a result of blending with another word such as twist or twitch.”

“Twerk” will be added to the dictionary as part of its quarterly update, which includes words such as “selfie,” the word typically used to describe pouty smartphone self-portraits, “digital detox” for time spent way from Facebook and Twitter, and “Bitcoin,” for the nationless electronic currency whose gyrations have also caught the world’s eye.

Oxford Dictionaries is responsible for a range of reference works, including Oxford Dictionaries Online, which focuses on modern usage, and the historically-focused Oxford English Dictionary, which probably won’t be adding “twerk” to its venerable pages any time soon.

The definition: “Twerk, v.: dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance.”

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So this is where we are as a species. We’ve gone from Billy Shakespeare basically creating our modern language to Miley Cyrus humping oversized teddy bears and bringing herself so much attention that Oxford has decided to include the word twerk in the dictionary. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t mad, but it’s far from the end of the world. When was the last time anyone ever read a dictionary anyway? Dictionaries, newspapers and magazines are all going the way of the egg salad sandwich. I guarantee more people per year read Barstool Sports than the Boston Globe. If this is Oxford’s way of trying to draw more readers in, I have a bit of advice for them: you’re a dictionary. Unless you get some pictures or MP3 attachments in that bitch, no one under the age of 95 is going to read you. I think it’s only fair that their be an asterisk next to twerk, and that asterisk gives one citizen a free punch to the face to anyone who uses the word twerk in a sentence. Win, win.

– Ryan

Joel Donaldson Sucks At Robbing People

(Source) A Brooklyn cellphone crook’s poor wardrobe choices led to his arrest when his saggy jeans tripped him up during his getaway attempt and allowed cops to chase him down, police said. Joel Donaldson, 21, allegedly punched his victim in the face before snatching her phone at around 2:30 p.m. at Court and Remsen streets, just steps from Borough Hall. He then tried to get away on foot, but didn’t get far. His droopy blue jeans — which left his boxer shorts exposed — kept slipping down as he ran. A cop who was directing traffic nearby spotted the bungling bad guy’s sorry sartorial situation and hurried after him. Donaldson made it only about a block before his pants were completely around his ankles, allowing the officer to tackle him near Joralemon Street. “He was zigzagging all over the place, but he couldn’t run because his pants was falling down,” witness Arlene Williams said. “This cop saw it, and he went right after him.’’ Donaldson was arrested two blocks from Brooklyn Criminal Court and charged with robbery, cops said.

Belt-less. I really don’t understand some people. If you’re going to go through all the trouble of punching some poor lady in the face and stealing her cell phone, you’d think you’d invest in some comfortable clothes. Maybe gym shorts? Running shoes? Basically anything but baggy jeans. You rob some lady’s cell phone in baggy jeans you’re getting caught every time. The most important part of a robbery is getting away. I could go up to some lady on the street and knock her lights out, but I get winded running to first base in beer league softball so the chances of me getting away are very slim. Joel has all the gifts you want in a thief, yet he let his pride and baggy pants get in the way. Get some new clothes Joel, or invest in a belt

– Ryan

The Spinning Beach Ball of Death

When I see this…

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…I feel like this

american-psycho-axe-scene-o

-MattyV

The Only Twitter You Will Ever Need To Follow is @GCatPix

I was just introduced to the best twitter accounts I have ever seen. It’s called @GCatPix, and it tweets out random rap lyrics along with a picture of a cat. Don’t ask “why”, just be glad it’s there. This automated twitter “bot” was created by Joel Mccoy (@boodooperson).  You can see a write up about him and his other twitter bots in WIRED Magazine.

Here are some of the @GCatPix Tweets:

 

 

-MattyV

Vin Diesel Sings “Stay” (Originally by Rihanna)

Look at that intensity! It’s official (I’ve known for a while, however) Vin Diesel is a triple threat! He can act, sing, and drive fast cars (who needs to dance when you can drive cars off cliffs)

-MattyV

PS – Most impressed with the high notes. F-Sharp City