Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Matt’s Follow Friday – Child Star Edition
Devin Ratray aka Buzz
Girlfriend. Woof. I get it, everyone. Really. Seriously. Thank you. It’s only been 23 years.
— Devin Ratray (@ratray_devin) August 28, 2013
Bug Hall aka Alflafa
What happens when a twit and a jerk collaborate on a song?.. you get Miley and Justin’s new single #Twerk. BOOM!
— Bug Hall (@Bug_Hall) August 29, 2013
Jordan Blake Warkol aka Froggy
I recently had a guy turn to me and say, “that’s what he said.” Changed my whole perspective on that joke. It goes both ways.
— Jordan Blake Warkol (@JordanFrog) August 30, 2013
-MattyV
Cheaters, A Rhode Island Institution, Is Closing
(Source) PROVIDENCE — A strip club where a missing Boston 15-year-old girl was found dancing in July is up for sale — along with the adjoining adult bookstore, strip club, gay bathhouse and “personal service club.”
Cheaters Gentlemens Club, at 245 Allens Ave., faces a possible closure by the city license board for hiring an underage girl and for the arrest of a dancer who allegedly solicited an undercover detective.
The big pink strip club is part of the “adult entertainment center” listed on stripclubs4sale.com with an asking price of $8 million. The ad says the business and real estate — strip clubs, bookstore, megaplex club, “personal service club,” and two vacant spaces — are valued at $11.23 million.
“This is an outstanding business opportunity that offers cash flow in excess of $2.5 million!”
The ad doesn’t give the exact location in Providence or reveal the names of the businesses, but the description only fits the Allens Avenue properties owned by H. Charles Tapalian and registered to him and his family: Cheaters, Studio 253, Mega-Plex, Adult Video & News, and The Body Shoppe, all listed at 245, 253, and 257 Allens Ave.
Tapalian refused to speak to a Providence Journal reporter Thursday regarding the sale.
The advertisement went up on July 22, a week before the police found an underage Boston girl dancing at Cheaters. The teen was accompanied by a Massachusetts sex offender, who the police say put her to work in the club and was acting as a pimp for her and another 15-year-old girl.
The Providence police say that the teen solicited an undercover detective — and a week later, on Aug. 8, one of the veteran dancers did the same, saying the fee was payable to her and “the house.”
Tapalain closed Cheaters the next day, and a sign was hung on the door that the club was “closed for renovations.” There are no recent permits for renovations at the property on file at the city Building Department.
The city license board is expected to hold a hearing on Cheaters on Sept. 16. Providence police Capt. Anthony Sauro said the police want the club shut down. He says the club violated state law and city ordinance by hiring an underage girl and violated the city ordinance against chronic nuisance properties.
Cheaters came under investigation in 2009, after a 16-year-old runaway from Boston told Providence police that she’d been working at the strip club. That led to a city ordinance and state law banning anyone under 18 from working in the adult entertainment business. Licensed establishments that violate the ordinance face fines of up to $500 for a first offense and up to $1,000 for subsequent offenses.
City Council President Michael A. Solomon, who sponsored that ordinance, plans to introduce legislation next week to require the sex businesses to get criminal-background checks on prospective employees to verify their ages.
Is nothing sacred? Cheaters is where dreams came true. I got my first lap dance there at 16 and I wasn’t even the youngest one there. That’s an important moment in a young mans life, and now you’re my throwing my memories in the trash. I’m legitimately heartbroken. Although I never knew they had a gay bathhouse on site. Turning down an offer from a stripper to head into the bathhouse now ranks pretty high on my list of things I’m glad I refused to do.
– Ryan
P.S. Imagine the surprise of the out of town businessman who reads that ad in the paper and shows up to Cheaters. I’ve heard you get syphillis just by looking at the stage.
I Kinda Sorta Definitely Need This Flask Tie
I think we can safely assume that when Peter Pan equated wearing a tie with everything bad about growing up, he had never heard of the Tie Flask, a microfiber tie with a six-inch pouch for tucking inside the front flap and a self-sealing valve for sucking booze. Growing up may be awfuller than all the awful things that ever were, but at least you’re allowed to drink in a variety of silly ways, including from your tie, or even better: out of a sippy-cup for wine.
This is it. This is why I was put on this Earth. Remember in Superman when Kevin Costner was telling Superman he was brought to Earth for a reason? Well this is my reason. To casually drink alcohol out of my tie at work. Some people save the world, some people booze. I’m a boozer baby.
– Ryan
P.S. There’s a link in the original article promoting a wine sippy cup. I tried this in college. So overrated it’ll make you weep.
Why The Extreme Japanese Raptor Prank Won’t Work in the USA
Here is why this awesome prank wouldn’t work in an American office building…heart attack city. To many morbidly obese business men in America.
-MattyV
Cyanide & Happiness Knows How to Tickle my Funny Bone
Here is one of their new shorts! Enjoy
-MattyV
Taking Over a Small Island Would be Easy Peasy
Sorry I have been absent from the blog today; I was on Prudence Island all morning for my job. After visiting the small island I have come to realize one thing, I was born to conquer.
As soon as I landed on Prudence, I felt this strong sense of urgency. I looked around, didn’t see another person (other than the people I was with) and decided that if these were different times, Prudence would be mine. I said it before, and I will say it again, I was genetically built to be born during medieval times (click here for my full explanation). I can, and have, survived on my own in the forest (Scout camp) without food and water for extended periods of time. I can make my own shelters (Fort making as a kid). Not to mention I have led thousand’s of people into battle and have won (Age of empires). Taking over and populating a small island? Piece of proverbial cake. All I need is a few sure-handed swordsmen, a castle, wine, and a wench…or two…or three.
For all you out there who say that I am crazy, 3 seasons of Game of Thrones says differently. I have the mind of Tyrian, the strength of Hodor, the muscle tone of lady Brienne, and the devastating good looks of The Hound.
-MattyV
PS- “Your Grace” has a nice ring to it






