Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
BREAKING NEWS: Jim Ross Announces Retirement
It is a sad day in the pro wrestling world. Hall of famer, Jim Ross, has announced his retirement after 20+ years of service to focus on his personal business endeavors.
Jim has called some of the most memorable matches in WWE history incuding the epic and iconic hell in a cell match between Mick Foley and The Undertaker. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2007 by his long-time friend “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.
Fans everywhere thank him for his many years of service and wish him well.
All I have to say is “AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!”
-MattyV
PS- Nicest guy in person and he loves his fans!
How The Breaking Bad Violence vs. Hair Chart Relates To Fat George Zimmerman
The oatmeal created an awesome (and accurate) breaking bad chart that analyzes each character’s tendency for violence vs. how much hair they have. Since George Zimmerman can’t see to keep his fat head out of trouble, I decided to do a little analyzing of my own.
Here’s George Zimmerman in 2005 after a domestic violence incident. Still not a choir boy, but the case was eventually thrown out. Also, notice Zimmerman has a full head of hair and he’s fat.
Here’s George Zimmerman towards the end of the Trayvon Martin trial, and only a few months before his most recent domestic violence incident. He isn’t pure evil by any means, and he’s grown out his hair and somehow gotten fatter.
Fresh off a murder George Zimmerman. That’s right, no hair, semi-skinny, and now he’s a murderer. Shot an unarmed kid. When George Zimmerman is fat with a full head of hair, he get’s into minor domestic disturbances. When George Zimmerman gets a buzz cut and loses weight, he turns into a murderer.
Moral of the story: whether you’re cooking meth to feed your family during a cancer battle or a member of the neighborhood watch, if you’re skinny with a shaved head and a goatee you’re a cold blooded murderer.
– Ryan
Rob Levine’s New Commercial With His Talking Dog Somehow Makes Me Hate Him More
For those of you outside of the Southern New England area, Rob Levine is an asshole personal injury lawyer. What separates Rob from the other asshole personal injury lawyer’s are his infuriating commercials. The guy calls himself “the heavy hitter”, which is the legal term for stupid douchebag. All of his commercials suck, but this new one with his talking dog takes the cake. Aren’t dogs supposed to make you happy? Like if you put a cute pooch in a commercial people smile and it helps them get through their day. Rob Levine somehow ruined the dog stereotype for me. That’s how much I loathe this man. You better keep hitting the gym Rob, because if I ever see you, I’ll make sure you never do another commercial again.
– Ryan
I Need JD in the NFL Right Now
Does this kid have it? or does this kid have it? Let’s break down the video. JD rolls out of the pocket with total disregard for any life on the field, he sizes up the first kid he sees (happens to be twice his size) and just puts him on his ass. I mean just a stone cold stiff arm/body slam from the pee wee QB. Then, JD rolls out to the sideline for some tightrope action. He blows by what looks like 20 guys who then trip all over themselves and to top it off he stiff arms the last kid into submission. If Marion Barber has an illegitimate, white, child running around somewhere and killing it in pee wee football, I found him.
-MattyV
Monsterblog Wednesday: Horse Names
If we ever make it big, our first purchase is a horse. A lot of rich people have fancy cars, or mansions with moats, or luxurious yachts, but only the truly elite own horses. With great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility comes naming your horse. We have to imagine there is nothing worse than watching your stallion cross the finish line with the entire crowd laughing at you because you picked a shitty name. The real winners in horse racing are those brave men and women who dare to be bold when choosing their horses name.
Bubba Gump
It was my childhood nickname (because apparently I reminded my parents of a black man with a speech impediment who ran like a white boy with leg braces) and I’ve embraced it ever since. Bubba Gump just so happens to roll off the tongue like a fine wine, and announcers better get used to saying it, because Bubba Gump does two things well: shrimpin’ and winning horse races.
-RyanFoges
Kevin
Something that I have believed in since I was a child was that human names make the best animal names. Take my hypothetical horse, Kevin, for example. Pretty decent human name, but dynamite horse name! Let’s look at others named Kevin: Kevin Costner, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Spacey, Kevin Durant. Do I need to say more? Kevin will steal the Triple Crown and your heart, with ease.
-MattyV
Today We Remember 9/11 With Vince McMahon and the WWE
For all the brave men and women in America and serving around the world, and to the civil servants that protect our streets everyday, we here at the Average Nobodies say thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. American may not be perfect, but it is home. We will never forget the unity in America the days after 9/11, and neither should you, that is the strength that America is built on.
-MattyV & RyanFoges
Jimi Hendrix: Hear My Train A Comin’ Documentary
PBS American Masters series, which has been producing biographical documentaries on some of America’s greatest authors, actors, athletes and musicians since 1986, is venturing into the psychedelic world of Jimi Hendrix for it’s next installment. Hear My Train A Comin’ will feature a combination of Hendrix home videos and rare live performances, and premieres nationally on November 5th. If you love music, or just want to see rare footage of how Jimi got down, then this documentary is an absolute must see.
For the full article and trailer, click here
– Ryan
P.S. Jimi Hendrix wore some sweet ass hats.
‘True Detective’ Looks Like the Next Smash Hit From HBO
It looks like HBO really does have a green thumb for original series. Starring Woody Harrelson and Matt “Dreamboat” McConaughey, True Detective follows two detectives as they hunt for a serial killer over a 16-year span. The first season will consist of 8 episodes, and if all goes well season 2 is said be shot “American Horror Story style”. Meaning it would have a whole new plot and characters. I can only imagine what HBO has in the pipeline for this show, and I can only dream of who else they could cast in the following seasons! That’s what I call a BOOM BABY. Look for it January 2014.
-MattyV
PS- HBO, if you are reading this, Ryan and I would like to put our hats in the ring for the parts of the next two detectives. We are a little rough around the edges, but we will allow being paid with a wrestling ring or beer (or both).
