Category Archives: Average Blog Posts

Average Blog Posts

Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.

Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.

Arsenio Hall Is Back

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Arsenio might have been out of the game for awhile but he obviously hasn’t lost his touch. If you have a guy in the audience with an eye patch you have to find some way of getting him on the air. I don’t care if you need to rewrite the whole show. Find some way of getting him on air, preferably positioning him as some type of stalker. That’s just what Arsenio did. That stereotype will never get old. People with eye patches are the coolest and the creepiest people in the world. Takes a special gene to pull that off.

– Ryan

Sumo Match Has Fat Guy Swag Turned Up To 1,000

A vicious body slam by the big man! Before I even hit play on this video I knew the outcome. One guy clearly has sumo in his blood and the other, well the other is just some fat white guy. There is a HUGE difference between sumo wrestlers and fat guys. Sumo wrestlers are trained killing machines, while fat people are trained to kill vending machines. Big difference. Nothing against this dudes fat guy swag though. Maybe sumo just isn’t your thing.

-MattyV

PS- I need this video with the JR voice over. “MAHHHHH GODDDD ALLLMMIIIGGHHHTTYYYY”

Monday Night Raw Recap – 9/16/13

And we’re live from Cleveland, Ohio!

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[RAW opens up with the new WWE champion Daniel Bryan. HHH then brings out the referee from the WWE championship, Scott Armstrong, to talk about his “fast count”. Looks like we have the Chris Jericho screw job part 2.]

Daniel Bryan refuses to give up the title, as the crowd chants “NO”. As HHH tries to grab the title away from Bryan, Orton sneaks in for an RKO. Cleveland seemed less upset when Lebron left town. Orton stands tall in the ring as HHH leaves with the title.

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[Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose (Non Title)]

Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Dolph Ziggler might be in the best shape a human being can be in. Great back and forth in this match, and let’s hope this feud continues, because they put on terrific matches. I still haven’t decided if Dean Ambrose reminding me of a serial killer is a good or a bad thing.

[We come back from commercial and Steph McMahon is laying the guilt trip on Show pretty heavily, as usual]

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[Fandango vs. R Truth]

R Truth grabs the momentum early on. Fandango quickly rallies back and goes for the quick pin. 2 count. Fandango has really gotten comfortable in the ring during Monday Night Raw and playing to the crowd has always been his strong point. Momentum back to Truth, who has really stood the test of time in the WWE. Hasn’t lost a step. Fandango hits the big leg drop off the top rope and pins Truth for a 3-count. Sweet, sweet Summer Rae, be my wife.

[Dusty Rhodes is shown backstage with Booker T and some of the talent. “The American Dream” will take the mic next!]

Never forget:

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Dusty Rhodes’ theme song is still top 3 all time. Also, his forehead is haunting. Always a strong segment when you fit a Bed Bath & Beyond reference in there. Stephanie makes Dusty decide between Dustin and Cody’s career. This a great twist to the storyline. Gives this story an entirely different dynamic. SiERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA! Here comes The Shield! Dusty may earn another slice to that forehead after this is over. And now here comes the Big Show. This is now the weirdest combination of people ever. Steph orders Big Show to knock out Dusty. The Big Show being poor is now my favorite storyline of all-time. Steph says if Show doesn’t knock out Dusty, The Shield will beat him with chairs. Not the ideal situation to be stuck in. Big Show knocks out Dusty. I’ve seen the Big Show cry way too often this month. Dusty was great in this segment.

[6 Diva tag match – Brie Bella, Funkadactyls vs. Alicia Fox, Aksana & Layla]

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AJ and Natalya were on commentary. This match was super short. Probably a good thing.

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[Sandow vs. RVD]

Sandow comes out with his briefcase, and RVD comes out with his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez. I like Ricardo, I really do, but how long can this personal ring announcer thing go for him? Quick match, RVD hits the insane frog splash off the top rope

[HHH fires referee Scott Armstrong]

hug it out

[Randy Orton vs. The Miz]

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The Miz is the hometown boy tonight, and he gets a good ovation from the crowd. He goes over to kiss his mom and dad who are easily the weirdest looking couple in the world.

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Orton attacks The Miz, much to the chagrin of Mr. Miz’s two chins. Segment ends with DDT on the outside, following a knee to the back of Miz’s head while it was locked in a chair. I can’t stop rewinding back to the part with Miz’s parents. Scary face city.

{Paul Heyman promo with Ryback]

Great promo by Heyman, who came out clean shaven but in a wheelchair. selling the caning by Punk the night before. Ryback speaks and says he doesn’t like bowleys. Whatever that is. Heyman seals the promo with a kiss on the check, and now we will forever have this photo:

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[Tag Team Turmoil: Uso’s vs. Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans]

Really good match. Cool spot with Tensai delivering a delayed suplex to Cesaro. Tons of Funk eliminated first. Cesaro then pulls of the big swing, reminiscent of last week vs. Santino. He really needs a push. The Uso’s ass to the face has to be low on the list I’d move I’d wanna take. Nice ending sequence: Jimmy Uso is on the top rope, and Jay Uso tags in just as Swagger runs up and throws Jimmy to the mat. Jey Uso then frog splashes Swagger for the win. I’m starting to believe Zeb Colter is an actual racist.

[Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns]

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Great match. Reigns seems to get better as the weeks go by. Bryan had Reigns in the “Yes lock” but Orton interfered. The rest of The Shield join Orton in the ring and beat down Bryan. Orton goes to the outside and grabs a chair to finish the job on Bryan. Out comes the locker room for the save! Reigns hits a HUGE spear on Kofi, but The Shield are finally outnumbered. Ziggler hits a fame-asser on Ambrose, and RVD nails Reigns with a reverse spin kick. Daniel Bryan hits the flying knee on Rollins as the superstars put Bryan on their shoulders and we go off the air.

SNL Officially Announces New Cast Members

(Source) “When NBC’s Saturday Night Live kicks off Season 39, it will be with a sum total of six, not five, new featured players.

As previously rumored, AT&T pitchman Beck Bennett (pictured, right) and Kyle Mooney (who also perform with the sketch comedy group Good Neighbor), female impressionist Noël Wells and comedian John Milhiser are now confirmed to join the late-night sketch series’ ensemble. Also, SNL scribe Mike O’Brien will step in front of the cameras this season.

But in announcing on Monday the new on-camera additions, SNL lobbed another name into the mix: stand-up comedian Brooks Wheelan (pictured, left), who last month had been made a part of the show’s writing staff.

The official announcement comes on the heels of Lorne Michaels telling the New York Times that sophomore player Cecily Strong will co-anchor Weekend Update with Seth Meyers this season.

SNL returns Sept. 28, with host Tina Fey and musical guest Arcade Fire.”

There you have it. 6 fresh faces will be part of the 39th season of Saturday Night Live. While I’ve only seen Beck Bennett perform (I hope his legs aren’t as short as they look in those AT&T commercials), it’s hard not to trust Lorne Michaels and his staff when it comes to finding new comedic talent. Transitions are always tricky, especially in a show such as SNL, which relies heavily on the chemistry of it’s actors and actresses. And while we’ll definitely miss Armisen, Sudekis and Hader, the large void their departures created could produce the show’s next rising star. My money is on Bobby Moynahan, but no matter who steps up, Season 39 should be a doozy.

– Ryan

Justin Bieber Is Ruining My Life

Justin Bieber as Robin?!

There is a solid chance this is a hoax, but hoax or not, this is one of the worst pictures in the history of the world. I got my heart ripped out last night watching Breaking Bad but that’s nothing compared to how I felt when I saw this picture. This move has the potential to ruin movies for me. If I have to watch Justin Bieber be Robin, or any character in any movie ever, then we as a society have failed. He failed miserably as the host of SNL, and I can only imagine how many squinty faces he’d make if he was actually given a prominent role in a feature film. Way to make a rainy Monday worse than it already is, Bieber, and may God help you if this is real.

– Ryan

P.S. IF this is real, the transition from Joseph Gordon-Levitt to Justin Bieber as Robin would be the worst in movie history.

Maybe I’m Late to the Party, But Cody Simpson HAS IT

Here is the video for Cody’s new song, “La Da Dee”. To start off on a high note, this song is the “theme” song of sorts for the sequel to Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. One of the best animated movies I have ever seen, so Cody and this song have that going for it already. Now lets break down the video. Cody walks up to a diner with his Ukulele, yes, a fucking Ukulele. The power instrument to end all power instruments. Just look at that chick working at the diner. You think she would be gushing for a Cody Simpson sitting there playing the xylophone? Hell no. Ukulele for the win. Everyday and twice on Wednesdays.

-MattyV

PS- Is that chick Taylor Swift’s doppelgänger or what?!

PSS- If Cody Simpson exists why does Justin Beiber? You don’t see Cody running around speeding in his ferrari and getting high do you? Get rid of Beiber and crown Cody, king.

PSS- Kid has a great head of hair. I don’t care if that’s weird of me to say, or not.

If Rooting For Jeff Wagner To Become Mayor of Minneapolis Is Wrong Then I Don’t Wanna Be Right

Politicians these days are good for two things: sending dick pics and making false promises. Not Jeff Wagner. He just wants you to wake the fuck up. He is putting everyone who runs for public office on notice: if you’re not half naked and screaming obscenities in your mayoral commericials then you need to wake the fuck up and get with the times. If he doesn’t win in a landslide I’ve lost hope for this country.

In Honor of it Being Friday the 13th, Here is a Horror Movie Mash Up

Friday the 13th is a day that is different for a lot of people. Some find it horrifying and others really don’t give a shit. I personally think a Friday, the 13th should be embraced. So, pop in a horror movie, scare some of your friends and family, and allow the madness to grab ahold of you.

-MattyV

PS- TGIF MOTHER F@(#&$^%!