Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Justin Timberlakes Aunt Is The Oldest Looking 53 Year Old Ever
(Source) “Justin Timberlake’s aunt has been arrested and jailed after reportedly stealing more than $64,000 from his mother Lynn and stepfather Paul.
Jane Harless, 53, managed to pilfer the cash via a check forging scam conducted in the SexyBack’s hometown of Tennessee, according to TMZ.
She is now behind bars after being detained in the Shelby County of the state last Friday.
Monsterblog Wednesday – NFL Expansion Teams
Football season is finally in full swing. While we have enough teams in the NFL to fill up a solid day’s worth of football, I’m a firm believer in the saying “you can never have too much of a good thing”. Green Bay has their Packers, New England has their Patriots and San Francisco has their 49ers. What about those poor cities that have no football team to call their own? While we understand every city can’t have a football team, we decided to go ahead and add two must see teams to the NFL roster. North Providence and Block Island, you’re welcome.
North Providence Thundercatz
My team is summed up in one word: intimidation. Is our logo a sabre tooth tiger riding blue lightning? You bet your sweet ass it is. The Thundercatz are gonna outwork you, and they’ll look good doing it. High flying offense, dick crushing defense. Special teams trick plays that’ll blow your ass off. Rhode Island has long deserved a football team, and with my personality and moderate to severe drinking problem, I believe I can give them the team they need.
-ryanfoges (defensive backs coach)
p.s. if you spell Thundercatz with an “s” I’m not sure I want to know you as a person.
Block Island Bandits
The Block Island Bandits are on this earth for one thing, TO POUND THE ROCK. We are a running based team, and by “running based team”, I mean… we only run the ball. Not a pass formation in the playbook. We have 9 running backs and 4 fullbacks. Our quarterback? Tim Tebow (he won’t be making a single throw, so he might actually work out). As far as our defense goes? Sumo wrestlers up front and Olympic sprinters in the secondary. This shows my coaching style: power up front, but finesse when I need to.
-MattyV [player/coach/owner/promoter]
Jerry Seinfeld is Calling a Mets Game, Again
Jerry Seinfeld is back to talk about nothing — and this time it’s his beloved Mets.
With the team more than 20 games out of first place, long-suffering fans who may not have tuned in to Tuesday night’s game against the San Francisco Giants will at least have Seinfeld in the broadcast booth alongside Keith Hernandez, Ron Darling, Bobby Ojeda and ringmaster Gary Cohen.
It’s Jerry’s second time since 2010 offering analysis of a Mets game on SNY — and his old friend Hernandez is thrilled.
“We just let him run, because he’s funny,” says Hernandez. “People want to hear what he has to say and his sense of humor comes out, so it’s our job just to step out of the way.”
Hernandez, of course, appeared in two episodes on Seinfeld’s classic sitcom and almost two decades later Jerry has returned the favor. -nydailynews.com
Jerry, is there anything you can’t do? Comedian, created and stared in a universally loved sitcom, successful voice actor, creator of a smash-hit web series, and Mets color commentator.
-MattyV
Man is Drilling Teeth Out of His 2nd Floor Apartment
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A Central Falls man received two years probation after admitting to running an illegal dental practice from his second-floor apartment.
Ray Guillen, 27, pleaded no contest Monday before Superior Court Judge Jeffrey A. Lanphear to operating a dental practice without a license and maintaining a common nuisance.
Central Falls police responded on April 12, 2012, to a suspected domestic assault at 77 Clay Street, Apt. 2, second floor. They discovered a dentist chair in the living room, x-ray equipment, and a cabinet filled with dental tools for drilling and cleaning, retainers, morphine, and other drugs. A vial of steroids was found in Guillen’s room as well as business cards that identified him as a tooth whitening specialist operating out of Blackstone Dental… -Providence Journal
This is why I HATE the dentists. Just some guy drugging up people and drilling the shit out of there mouths. But really, who the hell falls into this trap? Not only is it in the middle of some dudes living room, but it’s on the second floor of some apartment building in CENTRAL FALLS, Rhode Island. For those of you who do not know about Central Falls, I will just say it isn’t known for its tea parties…OR dentists offices. Completely ok for someone to do with with a barber chair, but drilling and scrapping teeth? Save that for the pros…please.
-MattyV
King Mswati III’s Days Are Numbered
(Source) “Swaziland’s King Mswati III has chosen an 18-year-old beauty pageant contestant as his 14th wife, a palace spokesman said Tuesday, days before a much-criticized parliamentary vote.
“I can confirm that the king has introduced to the nation a new liphovela (royal fiancee),” said Ludzidzini palace governor Timothy Mtetwa.
Mswati, a 45-year-old who is sub-Saharan Africa’s last absolute monarch, introduced Sindiswa Dlamini at a Reed Dance celebration over the weekend, Mtetwa told AFP.
She wore red feathers on her head — a sign of royalty.
The young woman graduated from Mbabane’s St. Francis High School last year and is a finalist in the Miss Cultural Heritage beauty pageant. The winner will be announced on September 28.
The king has come under fire for his household’s lavish lifestyle while the tiny mountain kingdom’s 1.2 million people struggle to make a living.
Mswati reportedly has a personal fortune of around $200 million (152 euros) and the UN estimates that 70 percent of his 1.2 million subjects live below the poverty line.
He has steadfastly resisted reforms.
Critics have slammed the polls as a sham, partly because political parties are banned and candidates are hand-picked by traditional leaders.
The weekend’s celebrations were a smaller repeat of last month’s official annual Reed Dance, where young virgins from across the kingdom gather and dance for the king.
“It just happened that the international community was there to witness the event,” said Mtetwa.
The wedding only takes place once the fiancee falls pregnant. Dlamini will then become Mswati’s 14th wife.
The monarch’s colourful private life is off-limits in local media, but has drawn a lot of international interest.
Three wives left the household in recent years. The latest, Queen LaGija, fled the palace in 2012 claiming years of physical and emotional abuse.
Another queen, LaDube, was reportedly abused after she was caught in bed with the justice minister, a close friend of the king.
Mswati had kidnapped and married the queen when she was 16 in 2005.”
King Mswati is just kind of doing whatever he wants over in Swaziland. Kidnapping girls and marrying them. Having a personal fortune over $200 million while 70% of the country is living below the poverty line. Real humanitarian. Well I have news for you King, you just made the list. The list of human rights violators that George Clooney takes out for a living. He does Spanish coffee commercials, builds spy satellites and spies on your ass until you submit. It kind of sucks to be King Mswati at this point. Yeah he’s rich and a king but Clooney is fresh off a breakup. He will show this fat bitch no mercy. I smell a 15 some with Clooney and the kings wives. I never thought I would be this jealous of so many women from Swaziland
– Ryan
P.S. Clooney
Bob Marley Has Been Reincarnated – Mitchell Brunings
Holy Shit, Batman! Mitchell Brunings just blew me away! Bob Marley is one of my all-time favorites behind a microphone, so for this guy to come up and destroy one of his most recognized songs is absolute bliss to me. This kinda stuff gives me hope for the future of music. Bravo, Mitchell!
-MattyV
PS- Get a cover band together RIGHT NOW.
Alexa Ray Joel Has The Voice Of A Sweet Princess
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7_Hgp1OAv0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I inherit a beer belly and a borderline obsessive personality. Alexa Ray Joel inherits the voice of an angel. Just singing a beautiful cover of her Fathers hit song for Gap. If I had to hand pick one celebrity’s genetics I’d like to inherit it would be Billy Joels. The total package and then some.
– Ryan
P.S. Is it weird that I’m attracted to Alexa Ray because of who her father is and not because of her looks? I don’t even know who I am anymore.
The Positive Side Of Social Media
(Source) “Some people spend decades searching for their biological parents, often never succeeding in tracking them down. So when Whitney Brock found her “real” mother in just 12 hours after starting a Facebook campaign, her newfound mom had to say, “It’s like winning the lottery. Better than winning the lottery.”
22-year-old Whitney had been adopted in 1991, just after her birth. Although she had a happy upbringing with Teresa and Andy Brock, her adoptive parents, Whitney had always wondered who her biological mother was.
Said Whitney, “I was just like, I wonder what my biological family is doing right now. Do they care about me? Do they miss me?”
She took a chance on Facebook, posting a photo of herself holding a cardboard sign reading, “I’m looking for my birth mother,” followed by details like the name of the hospital and her birthday.
The image spread over rapidly over the web. Said Whitney, “So many people were sharing it, liking it, commenting on it.”
A Florida woman performed some research upon seeing the post, and responded with a list of names and phone numbers.
Whitney called the first person on the list: “I said I know this sounds crazy, but is there any way you put a baby up for adoption in 1991? And she said,’ on February 6th?’ I said ‘yes,’ and she said ‘is this Whitney Brock?’ I said ‘yes.’ She said ‘hi Whitney. I’m your mother.’”
It turned out that Whitney’s mom, Jennifer Moorhead, was looking at Whitney’s Facebook post just as her daughter called.
A week after speaking on the phone, the pair met for the first time since Whitney’s birth at Stoll’s Amish Buffet.
“I could not believe how much she looks like me,” said Jennifer. “She walks like me.”
Said Whitney, “Just listening to her speak, the phrases she uses, like, it reminds me of things I would say.”
Jennifer also got to meet her granddaughter Rylan, along with Whitney’s adoptive parents. Jennifer and Whitney plan to see each other again in a month.”
For every annoying person on social media, we hope there is a story such as this. Whitney Brock started a Facebook campaign to find her biological parents, and 12 hours later, she was talking on the phone with her biological mother. A week later they met, and we were all reminded why social media was created in the first place: it keeps us connected to the people we care about, even if we can’t see them everyday. Heartwarming Tuesday indeed.
– Ryan
