Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Justin Bieber Made His Bodyguards Carry Him Up The Great Wall of China

Via Buzzfeed.
What an asshole. I mean yeah making other humans carry you up a giant wall is pretty ideal but Ryan Eugene Fogarty does not give Justin Bieber credit for anything. Just like my daddy and his daddy before him. We’re a proud folk, and we hate Justin Bieber. He honestly might be the biggest douchebag in the world. I’ve never had so much hatred for a person I’ve never met before, and I’ve never felt so right for doing it.
– Ryan
Do You Want Fruit & Veggies With That?
(Source) — Want a side salad with that Big Mac?
McDonald’s says it will start giving customers the choice of a salad, fruit or vegetable as a substitute for french fries in its value meals.
McDonald’s Corp. will roll out the change early next year in the U.S., where people will be able to pick a salad instead of fries at no extra cost. McDonald’s says it already lets customers make such swaps in some countries, such as France.
But now it says it now work to make the options available in 20 of its biggest markets around the world, which represent 85 percent of sales. McDonald’s, which has more than 34,000 locations around the world, said the change will be in place in 30 to 50 percent of the areas within the next three years and 100 percent the regions by 2020.
The world’s biggest hamburger chain made the announcement at the Clinton Global Initiative in New York City, where CEO Don Thompson made an appearance on stage with former President Bill Clinton.
In an interview before the announcement, Thompson said McDonald’s is looking at developing other healthy sides that will appeal to customers. He noted that the company could also take the fruits and vegetables it offers in other parts of the world, such as cups of corn and kiwi on a stick, and make them more widely available.
“What is it that customers will choose, and what will they eat?” Thompson said. “What we don’t want to do is just put something on the menu and say, hey, we did it. We really want consumption.”
You know when you go to a burger joint and they have some exotic seafood dish on the menu, and you think to yourself “I would never eat that here”? That’s how I feel about McDonalds now serving fruits and vegetables as a substitute for french fries. So if I eat three Big Mac’s, but get a side of cantaloupe I’ll be healthy as an ox? I don’t think that’s how it works. If you’re going to McDonalds, you’re already chalking that day up as a loss. Have you ever been inside a McDonalds? It’s one of the saddest places on Earth. Kind of like an anti-Disneyland. The employees don’t want to be there, all the customers look awful, patiently waiting for their 10 minutes of satisfaction stuffing a burger down their throat. That’s what McDonald’s was built on, the tears of depressed Americans who hate their life. Now you’re going to take that away and replace it with fruit and vegetables? Shame on you, McDonalds. Let us be fat and miserable in peace.
-Ryan
Conor P. Fudge Gets Arrested For Stealing Cake and Ice Cream…
When real-life Walter White is sought on a meth charge, it’s a story. When Leonard Dickman gets arrested on a public indecency charge, it’s a story. So when Conor P. Fudge gets caught on camera swiping cake from an ice cream shop, you can bet your rocky road it’s a story.
Fudge, 25, was allegedly caught stealing cakes and containers of ice cream from a Cold Stone Creamery in Iowa City, the Gazette reported Monday.
The store owner gave police the scoop on Fudge, saying he was employed there until late August and used an unauthorized key to get inside after hours on Sept. 11 and 12, according to the Associated Press. The tape also allegedly shows him taking moneyout of a safe, the Iowa City Press-Citizen reported.
The combined value of the desserts and the money was about $500. He’s charged with burglary and theft.
Ok, now I have heard it all. A sweet tooth wielding robber has the last name of “Fudge”? This cannot be real life. They did not put a mug shot up of Mr. Fudge, but this is what I imagine he looks like.
At least he was smart enough to hit the safe on the way out too. My question is, with a name like fudge, he had to have been in there solely for the cake and scram. Right? The money was just a bonus for him.
-MattyV
PS- How hard do you hit rock bottom that you steal cake and ice cream?
John Daly Casually Hitting A Golf Ball Out of Some Guys Mouth in a Parking Lot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn7DKQv0Xj4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
John Daly does three things: He eats pizza, he drinks beer, and he hits golf balls really far, sometimes on the golf course, sometimes in a parking lot off a human tee. 110% chance he was drunk too. If you don’t want to party with John Daly and then have him hit a golf ball out of your mouth then you’re not living right.
– Ryan
Pam Anderson is Running in the NYC Marathon This Year. In Unrelated News I’ll Be Watching the NYC Marathon This Year
It looks like all of her vigorous workouts for Dancing With The Stars are about to come in handy for Pamela Anderson. The actress who competed on the show twice recently announced that she will be running in the upcoming New York City Marathon! Details inside…
Ok, so she may not have really done much working out during her most recent stint on Dancing With The Stars, as she was eliminated in week one, but that is not stopping Pamela Anderson from taking a shot at the NYC Marathon! “I’m running the New York Marathon this year and raising funds for the J/P Haitian Relief Organization,” the Baywatch beauty tweeted recently. The 46-year-old is hoping to raise at least $500,000 for Haiti relief, claiming she will be running contests as well.
On her fundraising page, Anderson gushes about her love for Haiti, and she has an extensive list of reasons that she wants to help. “Poorest Country in the Western Hemisphere. Just a one-hour flight from Miami. How are we not more involved? Desperate need for things we take for granted – clean water, safe school structures, medical facilities, emergency rooms, reforestation possibilities – conservation, education. Organic products allowed into Free trade market (mangoes, coffee, vanilla, vegetables). The opportunities are endless,” Pamela wrote.”
The marathon takes place on November 3, and will span five boroughs. The J/P Haitian Relief Organization’s goal is to save lives and bring sustainable programs to Haiti, following the earthquake in 2010.
She’s still got it. Talk about going big or going home. Some people just donate the money. Some people run 5K’s. Pamela Anderson runs a goddamn marathon. Brisk 26.2 mile jog. I wouldn’t want to drive 26 miles in my car, never mind run it around New York City. I guess that makes Pam a bigger person than I am. All for the good people of Haiti, too. Honestly all I care about is if the marathon is televised, because if theres one person I wouldn’t mind watching compete in a marathon, it’s Pamela Anderson.
– Ryan
Sorry I’m Not Sorry That #SorryImNotSorry is the Stupidest Saying in the History of the World
You know what makes you sound like an idiot? Saying or hashtagging “Sorry i’m not sorry”. Let me let you in on a little secret: it’s not cute, it’s not trendy, It’s not funny, and it sure as hell isn’t clever. There is no redeeming quality to this saying. You know what happens when someone dials up this horrible phrase? Children all across the world drown themselves in fear of living in a future where people like YOU have any kind of power or influence.
There is no reason to apologize for being “not sorry”. That is just lunacy! Be sorry or don’t apologize. If you do both….
-MattyV
Walter & Jesse: The Ultimate Odd Couple
The world officially said goodbye to Breaking Bad last night. Drama’s never seem to fully satisfy every viewer when they eventually bow out, but as someone who was totally caught up in the Breaking Bad experience, I must say I was very pleased with the way things ended. While the show’s supporting characters (Mike, Gus, Todd, Uncle Jack, Hank, Marie, etc) were superb, the heartbeat of the show always seemed to revolve around Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
Before I go into their on screen relationship, I think it’s safe to say that no one enjoyed playing characters on a television show more than Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul. They loved their characters, and it showed. Vince Gilligan created complex villains, and Cranston and Paul brought them to life and made you care about what happened to them, regardless of the hideous things they had done. Calling their relationship rocky would be like calling the Grand Canyon a hole in the ground. If Felix Unger and Oscar Madison were the original odd couple, then Jesse Pinkman and Walter White were the ultimate odd couple. A brilliant chemistry teacher and a high school dropout teaming up to cook meth? Let’s do it! In the beginning, they relied on each to survive. It was clear Walter cared about Jesse, in the bizarre way you care about a wounded dog. The dog has been hurt before, and if you show it the least bit of love, the least bit of attention, it will be obedient. Walter was always the mastermind, and as the seasons continued, his mental stranglehold over Jesse got more and more perverse (Oh, Gail.) I rooted for Walter and Jesse, up until he watched Jane die, then poisoned Brock. We can forgive our fictional anti-heroes, as long as we hold out hope they will someday redeem themselves. We justify the murder of meth cooks and drug dealers as a casualty of war, but once the barrier of innocence is broken, it’s tough to ever fix it. Walter White was ruining Jesse’s life, and we had a front row seat.
In the later seasons, it seemed Jesse might survive his personal hell with the help of a more loving and understanding sociopath, Mike Ehrmantraut. Walt decided to stop that, and in my opinion, was jealous of the relationship Mike and Jesse had. You might treat like your dog like shit, but it’s still YOUR dog. Walt had other reasons to kill Mike, but keeping Jesse wounded and vulnerable had to be at the top of the list. After the death of Mike, Jesse finally seemed to realize that Walter White was more poisonous than the Ricin he fed to Brock. We found out in season one that he had cancer, but as the end approached, we realized that Walter was the real cancer. Everything he touched, everyone he “loved”, was broken by the end. No one’s life was altered more by Mr. White than Jesse Pinkman. They were rarely on screen together for the final season, as Jesse spent most of his time throwing money out of his car window or imprisoned in an underground meth lab. Walter White watched his family fall apart, and in the end, so did he. When the dust cleared, Walter White was dead. Jesse Pinkman, when we last see him, is driving away, destination unknown. Physically, he’s very much alive. As a rabid fan of Breaking Bad, I know better. Jesse Pinkman died long ago. It was a sad conclusion to an incredible story. Like it could have ended any other way.
– Ryan
P.S. I’m not normally a fan of episodic recap articles, but if you love Breaking Bad, you need to read the series finale recap by Andy Greenwald of Grantland. Boom Baby.






