Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
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Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
John Tavares Casually Pulling Out His Tooth On the Islanders Bench
I’ve never been nor will I ever will be a hockey fan, but only a bad ass motherfucker/ psychopath pulls out his own tooth.
– Ryan
Red Sox/Tigers ALCS Preview
The Tigers come to town tonight to begin what should be a fantastic ALCS. The MLB implemented new rules for this postseason, including a wild card play in round, but it looks the best 4 teams survived to make the league championship series. Here are the pitching matchups for the first four games and some keys to victory for the Sox:
Detroit: Game 1. Anibal Sanchez; Game 2. Max Scherzer; Game 3. Justin Verlander; Game 4. Doug Fister
Red Sox: Game 1. Jon Lester; Game 2. Clay Bucholz; Game 3. John Lackey; Game 4. Jake Peavy
Kind of goes without saying that Detroit has the pitching advantage in this series. We all know about Scherzer and Verlander, but Sanchez had a 2.57 ERA this year. We also shouldn’t have short term memory loss either. All anyone could talk about before game 1 of the ALDS is how Matt Moore and David Price had dominated the Red Sox all year. Two games and 19 runs later we had a 2-0 series lead. I trust our starters, especially Lester and Bucholz at home. Lackey has found renewed self confidence this year, and I’m pretty sure Peavy could pitch a good game with the field on fire. The chances of us beating Scherzer and Verlander back to back are slim, but if we beat one of them and take games 1 and 4, then I love only having to win one of the next three games.
Keys To Victory
1. PLAY JONNY GOMES – Gomes is the sparkplug for this team, no doubt about it. I love Nava, but Gomes brings an unmatched intensity to each and every game. There’s a reason they scored 19 runs in his two starts and 7 runs in his two non starts.
2. Beard-lieve – Yes it’s weird. But I believe the truly great teams hitch their wagons to an off the field activity and use it bring each other closer together. The 2013 Red Sox just so happened to pick beards. I’ve never seen a team so tight knit, and I’m loving every moment of it. If the beards are helping the Sox win, keep it growing (see what I did there).
3. Trust. John Farrell has a lot of Terry Francona in him. Remember when everyone wanted Francona to bench Pedroia in ’07? Guess that worked out OK. Same thing here with Farrell, as he’s stuck with Napoli and Salty when they’ve struggled, and they’ve always come through. Nap had an awful ALDS, and besides game 1, so did Salty. I expect them to both have a big ol’ ALCS.
A side note on the trust theme: Farrell trusts every single guy on this roster (except Kendrick Morales). From Ellsbury to Pedroia to Gomes to Boegarts, Farrell knows if he calls on a guy to do a job he’ll do it. So understated yet so important.
I really like this Red Sox squad against any team, and I think they’ll fare well against the Tigers. I want to say Sox in 5, but it’d be nice to see them celebrate at Fenway. Sox in 6 bitches.
– Ryan
– Ryan
Michael Beasley Beat the Shit Out of Himself During the Heat’s Preseason Game
(Source) “Michael Beasley is pretty hard on himself sometimes. Beasley received his first minutes of playing time and he was great. He scored nine points in his first five minutes of action and was diving on the floor and doing things coaches generally like to see out of players trying to make a roster. Of course, Beasley also did something a little odd after one offensive play. Upset with himself over missing a shot, Beasley started punching himself in the head while running back on defense. He punched himself so hard that he needed treatment after the game from the Heat’s trainer. Steel compresses (like the ones cut doctors use in boxing) were applied to Beasley’s brow in the locker room.”
Anyone who has ever wondered why Michael Beasley never panned out should look no further than this story. He’s on the best team in the world, with the best player in the world, and all he has to do is not be an asshole and he’ll win an NBA title. What does he do? He scores 9 points in 5 minutes (very good) and punches himself repeatedly in the head after a missed shot (very bad). Punching yourself in the head so hard that you need medical treatment is the definition of being an asshole. Somebody get Beasly a bag of skittles and some Sprite for that self inflicted hangover pronto.
– Ryan
Eyelid Tattoos: Yay or Nay?
I’m gonna say nay. Now if this was a neck tattoo, I’d be all over it. Neck tattoos establish dominance. Eyelid tattoos make me question your sanity. My Mavs probably won’t be as good this year, considering every key free agent signed with another team. But what we lack in talent, we make up for in players who are crazy enough to get two eyelid tattoos. Here’s to another losing season.
– Ryan
Kangaroo Makes Another Kangaroo Tap Out
Skip to 4:30 for the hold
Vicious rear naked choke hold! Get Vince on the line! We got a star on our hands. Love the showboating after. Just straight up cocky kangaroo stance.
-MattyV
PS- as for the Kagaroo who got choked out…
Craig Robinson Seems Like He’d Be Fun to Party With
(Source) “NASSAU, Bahamas — NASSAU, Bahamas (AP) — Comic actor Craig Robinson was detained Wednesday for drug possession as he tried to leave the Bahamas and was ordered to pay a fine, authorities said.
The actor best known for his role as Darryl Philbin on NBC’s “The Office” was stopped as he tried to board a plane in the capital, Nassau, and head back to the United States. Customs agents found a small amount of marijuana and pills deemed suspicious, said Supt. Stephen Dean of the Royal Bahamas Police Force.
“It was nothing major,” Dean said.
Robinson, who was in the Bahamas for a comedy show, was taken into custody and appeared before a magistrate, where he pleaded guilty to two counts of drug possession. Prosecutor Ercel Dorsett told the court that Robinson had a half gram of marijuana and 18 ecstasy pills.
The 41-year-old actor, who appeared calm in a shorts and T-shirt and was not accompanied by a lawyer, told the court he brought the drugs from the United States and did not know they were illegal in the Bahamas.
Magistrate Andrew Forbes ordered him to pay a $1,000 fine and directed that he be turned over to authorities and removed from the country. He could have faced four years in prison.
A publicist for Robinson, Nicole Chabot, declined to comment. Blair Berk, a Los Angeles lawyer who represented the actor after a previous drug arrest, also declined comment.
In June 2008, police in Culver City, California, arrested Robinson on suspicion of possessing MDMA, also known as ecstasy, and methamphetamine. The charges were later dismissed after he completed a diversion program.
Robinson is familiar to many for his portrayal of Philbin, a warehouse foreman on “The Office.” He has also appeared in movies such as the “Pineapple Express,” ”Zach and Miri Make a Porn,” and “Hot Tub Time Machine.”
Hey Craig we’re going to the Bahamas for a few days, think we should bring 18 ecstasy pills and pretend we’re from outer space? So many actors are nothing like the characters they play in movies or on TV, but I think Craig Robinson is exactly who we thought he was: a weed smoking, ecstasy dabbling funny son of a bitch. He just seems like a guy you’d wanna play fluffy fingers with.
Random Thought: Who is the Ultimate Horror Movie Villain?
Year after year we see different villains being introduced in horror movies, killing off people one by one like their carving them up for Thanksgiving dinner. What would happen if these villains squared off against one another? Granted we have seen Freddie vs. Jason as a movie, but what about the other iconic horror movie villains? I think it’s time we see what would happen if the most evil villains actually squared off..
Match up #1: Michael Myers vs. Leather Face.
vs.
Advantages: Butchers Knife vs. Chainsaw
I have to say, I’ve always been a huge Michael Myers fan. Guy could kill you quicker then you could say “boo”. But I think Leather Face could give him a run for his money. A chainsaw is no joke, and leather face enjoys swinging that machinery around like a whirling dervish. Both villains have the ability to catch up to their running victims with no trouble at all. Pretty even match up, but Myers is smarter and more resourceful. After 10 long rounds I think your winner here is….
Winner: Michael Myers
Match up #2: Pennywise The Clown vs. Freddie Krueger
vs.
Advantages: Claw Gloves vs. Sharp Teeth
I don’t know about anyone else, but these two guys scared the crap out of me when I was a young lad. To be honest, they still scare me, but I don’t hide under my bed anymore. Anyway, Mr. Dream Land Krueger himself is a bonafide horror Hall of Famer. He enjoys tormenting children when they are sleeping and killing them one by one with those real sharp blades. Pennywise is very similar to Freddy. He loves to go after the youngsters in their nightmares; Pennywise is demented in every single way. Did I mention Pennywise is a sick Clown? Somehow makes things 100x worse. Unfortunately, Pennywise only starred in one movie, killing a total of 11 people. Krueger got about nine movies killing a total of 42 people. I think if you locked both these guys in a room and had them duke it out, those blades would vastly over power some sharp teeth and a balloon. So I think your clear winner here is….
Winner: Freddy Krueger
Main Event Fatal Four Way: Jason Voorhees vs. Pinhead vs. The Reaper vs. Jig Saw
vs.
vs.
vs.
Advantages: Machete vs. Eating Victims vs. Hooked Chains vs. Traps
Whoa. I really don’t know where to start with these guys. All of these guys have the potential to take the title. Let’s start with Jason. Guy is an absolute animal. He has taken down over 300 victims in his lifetime. Try hiding from him in your bedroom, and he’ll be barreling through that door like a steaming bull. And what’s not to like about a machete? He can chop down some bushes, cut a few watermelons and carve up a turkey all in a days work. Now let’s move on to The Reaper. The Reapers main advantage: he can fly!. He’s got some slick moves to get out of danger and if you’re not looking, he may engulf you in his wings and feast on you handsomely. Mr. Pinhead is someone you don’t want to forget about. He’s nicknamed the “Master of Torture” and I think that name alone should get your blood boiling. What’s unique about this fellow is his appearance: multiple pins protruding from his head. These can act as protection from his opponents and also a deadly weapon. If you try taking a swing at him you bet your sweet ass you’re losing that hand. You don’t want to forget about his hooked chains, either. They’ll rip you apart like no tomorrow. Your final villain for the night is the great mastermind Jig Saw. By far the smartest villain in the game right now. He really knows how to give someone the worst possible scenario of dying. His traps are so intricately made that you really have no shot at living. So if we saw this match being played out, I think it would come down to Jason vs. Jig Saw in a battle to the death . You’re winner and grand champ is…
Winner: Jason Voorhees
– Derek
