Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Browns Fans Post “QB Wanted” Ad on Craigslist
(Source) Hello, and thanks for reading.
Have you played pro football? College ball? High school? Pee-wee?
Have you played Madden before?
Do you sort of kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes keep reading. If no…well also keep reading! We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person.
The Cleveland Browns as you may have noticed are having problems scoring points on offense consistently. We are deciding that we actually want to win this year and that we have a real shot at it too. 3 wins in 6 games!? We were expecting maybe 1/3 of those wins for the whole year, but SOMEHOW we have a shot still. Here’s the thing…our defense is sick nasty, but we’ve got problems under center…well one problem. Brandon Weeden. If you’re sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter then please come apply! If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can’t, come anyway! We can teach you the basics….throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that’s WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16. Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You’re the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks!
Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.
This is kind of a new low even for Cleveland. Obviously this a joke but the fact that this entire description of what the Browns need at QB is true makes it sad. I also take partial responsibility for this situation. My fantasy players have what I like to call the “Ryan stink” on them. Guess who I picked up at 5 o’clock Thursday afternoon to be my starting quarterback that night? Brian Hoyer. 4 hours later he tore everything in his knee and the 40 year old college graduate Brandon Weeden came in. I think I owe it to the city of Cleveland to throw my hat in the ring for this job. I’ve never played football at any level but I’m a great defensive coordinator in Madden so it’s basically the same thing. I’d also never do this
You know where to find me Cleveland.
– Ryan
New Trailer – Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson)
Looks like Grand Budapest Hotel is about the friendship between a concierge and his protege and new lobby boy (played by newcomer Tony Revolori). This is a Wes Anderson film so of course you get Bill Murray, but the list of the other actors has blown my mind. Some have been in Anderson’s films before and others are new to his brightly painted world. Here they are in case you missed any in the trailer: Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Adrian Brody, Willem Dafoe, Tom Wilkinson, and Jude Law! Holy awesome cast, Batman!
Looks like the release date is sometime early March, 2014 and I cannot wait.
-MattyV
Danny McBride Did a Commercial for Cat Wine on Jimmy Kimmel Live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaAxwehEG00&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Danny McBride has to be one of the five funniest people on the planet. If you put anyone besides Will Ferrell in this it would be a dud, but Danny somehow makes it funny. In unrelated news, I think I’m stocking up on cat wine for the long winter. If there’s one thing I learned in college it’s that you can never have enough cat wine.
– Ryan
The Pink Ranger Will Always Be My Main Chick
When Kimberly Hart (Her regular person name is Amy Jo Johnson) popped up on Yahoo.com this morning I had all these feelings come and crash over me like a giant tidal wave. One of my first crushes, Kimmy here, had my heart from the first moment I laid eyes on her in that pink, Power Ranger getup. I haven’t seen her in a while so I wanted to catch up, and since I don’t have her phone number or know where she lives (probably a good thing) I went to my next option, Wikiepedia.
Since Power Rangers ended she has become a successful: actress, singer, songwriter, gymnast, and mother. Talk about your all-time quintuple threat. This girl has got it all, and at 43 what does she look like?
I’m buying my ticket to Milf City, where Amy Jo Johnson is the mayor.
-MattyV
PS- How much stereotyping went into the black guy on power ranger wearing the black suit?
PSS- You could cut the sexual tension with a knife between these two and it made me furiously jealous.
*****UPDATE*****
@Flairess85 (on twitter) just reminded me that the Yellow ranger was Asian! Stereotyping at its finest. I miss the good old days when political correctness didn’t exist and I could watch TV shows where high schoolers wore cool costumes and beat up people professionally.
Kimmy sex tape coming soon. How did I not hear about this sooner!?
Must Watch – Portrait of a Boxer
This is one of my favorite short documentaries. Shot and edited by Philip Bloom, Portrait of a Boxer captures the the life’s work of an Eastern European fighter. The lighting and sound mixing are absolutely brilliant. Look for other Philip Bloom shorts on his Vimeo page.
-MattyV
Julian Edelman Catches a Punt With Google Glass On
New England Patriot teammates Julian Edelman and Ryan Allen recently got to have a little fun with google glass. Loved the way Julian* showed his little pre-punt routine. Gotta double check the gloves. Amateur move if you don’t. It’s only a matter of time before cameras start getting installed in all the helmets. First it was mic’d up now it will be cam’d up. Seeing Megatron or A.J. Green catch TD passes over everyones head is going to make for great TV.
-MattyV
*I played craps with him one time so I feel that I am on the level or friendship where I can just use his first name. Hope he feels the same way.
This RI Farmer is Embarrassing the Shit Out of Me in Front of Taylor Swift
So apparently some farmer from this great state of ours (RI) created a “Welcome Taylor” message in his corn field.
Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of T Swift! Act like you’ve been there before man. This is why Rhode Island can’t have nice things. Creeps, like the guy who swam to her house and this guy who wants to lock her up in his barn, live here. I’m calling it now, Taylor is out by christmas. She will be gone without ever having meet her one true blogger love: me. It’s a damn shame, but thats how the corn stalk falls I guess.
For now, i’m going to put on a disguse and pretend I don’t live here, and no one can stop me!!!!
-MattyV
PS- You’re a tad late on the welcome message. She moved here like 8 months ago.
(Photo cred crushable.com)
Most Impressive Arnold Schwarzenegger Impression Iv’e Ever Heard
This has got to be, hands down, the most impressive Arnold Schwarzenegger impression i’ve ever heard. Probably one of the best impressions of anyone. Andrew Brent has got the crazy Austrians vocals down pat.
-MattyV
