Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
From the Something I Never Thought I’d Hear Vault: Tom Hardy Cast as Elton John
(Source) “NEW YORK (AP) — Tom Hardy will play Elton John in a biopic titled “Rocketman.”
Focus Features announced Hardy’s casting as the iconic piano man on Wednesday. The film is planned to begin shooting late next year.
The 36-year-old British actor is well respected for his wide-ranging talent, but his brawny, tattooed frame makes him an unconventional choice. Hardy is most famous for playing the terrorist Bane in “The Dark Knight Rises.” He has showcased a muscled masculinity in films like “Warrior,” ”Lawless” and “Bronson.”
“Rocketman” is being made with the cooperation of the 66-year-old John, who’s an executive producer on the film.”
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From Bane to..Elton John? According to the internet, Tom Hardy will star as Elton John in the biopic Rocketman. Interesting choice, as you’d be hard pressed to find someone who looked less like Elton John, but Hardy is an acting chameleon, and I saw his dick in Bronson, so I feel like we share a special bond. We have to wait awhile to see how it comes out, as filming doesn’t begin until late next year, but with Elton John set to executive produce, my money’s on Hardy to knock it out of the park.
– Ryan
Korey Jerelds, Just Casually Punching Police Horses
He was mad at the horse.
Korey Jerelds, 30, was arrested early Saturday after he allegedly punched a police horse in the neck several times following a loud verbal disturbance.
According to WTSP, an officer on a horseback was dispersing a crowd when Jerelds “yelled an expletive about the horse and took a fighting stance before punching the animal.”
Jerelds now faces charges of interfering with or obstructing a police dog or horse.
The horse, whose name is Mr. George II, was not harmed in the incident, according to WESH. – HuffPost
I could be wrong, but I think this is the second blog the Average Nobodies have done about some guy getting arrested for punching a police horse (Ryan, can I get a confirmation?). Does this kind of stuff really happen that much? If two people already got arrested in the past year for this I can only imagine how many horse punching bandits are getting away with this stuff. And obviously the cop wouldn’t report their horse getting punched. How stupid would a cop sound if he said someone punched his horse and got away. Pretty fucking stupid. You’re on a horse, do something about it. Chase his ass down and make him face the penalties of horse punching. Which i’m assuming is 12 hours community service and a apology to the horse.
-MattyV
Mike Napoli – Fashionista
What can’t this guy do. Along with Jonny Gomes, he’s bringing back the shaved head/crazy beard look. Hitting bases clearing doubles. Now he’s putting the fashion world on notice with his post game press conference outfits. I want some of whatever this guy is eating for breakfast, because right now he’s pissing excellence. Pretty soon everybody in New England is going to be naming their child Michael. The Napoli revolution has begun.
– Ryan
Jerry Moon Pulls The Ol’ Switch-a-roo
When Jerry Moon’s family opened his casket at a memorial service on Monday to say their final goodbyes, they found a stranger in his place.
Moon, 72, died around the same time as a 97-year-old man who had been in living in the same hospice care facility in Washington state. Sadly, an apparent mix-up at the funeral home ended with a stranger in Moon’s casket, and Moon cremated against his wishes. -HuffPost
Let me tell you something right now. Something the moon family doesn’t want to hear or believe. Jerry Moon isn’t dead. No way and far from it. This right here is something I have been trying to perfect for years but could never pull off, the ol’ switch-a-roo. Fakes his death, suffocates old man river down the hall from him and stuffs him in his casket. “But he was cremated”, you shout! Yeah, right. Jerry just pulled the perfect stunt right in front of your eyes. Jerry Moon is definitely in the bahamas somewhere living out the rest of his life being fanned by beautiful women and drinking beer by the case.
-MattyV
PS- I’m naming my son Jerry Moon Vieira. Power name right thurrrr
Uruguay Now Selling Legal Marijuana For $1 Per Gram
(Source) “MONTEVIDEO, Uruguay — MONTEVIDEO, Uruguay (AP) — Uruguay’s drug czar says the country plans to sell legal marijuana for $1 per gram, though he’s given higher figures in the past.
A law already passed in the lower house of Congress and expected to pass in the Senate later this year would make Uruguay the first country in the world to license and enforce rules for the production, distribution and sale of marijuana for adult consumers.
The El Pais newspaper reported Sunday that drug chief Julio Calzada says marijuana sales should start in the second half of 2014 at a price of $1.
He says the idea isn’t to make money, but to wrench the market away from illegal dealers. Calzada said in August that the price would be around $2.5 per gram.
Sales are for locals only.”
Just when you count Uruguay out, they go and do something like this, and totally redeems themselves! I’m not sure why Uruguay is selling pot for $1 a gram but I also don’t care. They’re putting themselves back on the map. No longer will they only be known for soccer players whose names we can’t pronounce. They are the now the gold standard for legalizing marijuana. Congratulations Uruguay. We’re all proud of you.
– Ryan
Ultimate Showdown – Wally vs. Fred The Bird
Hey, @RedSox! #Fredbird wants to make a friendly #WorldSeries wager with @Wally97… What do you say? #BOSvsSTL
— St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) October 23, 2013
Bring it on! RT @cardinals Hey, @RedSox! #Fredbird wants to make a friendly #WorldSeries wager with @Wally97… What do you say? #BOSvsSTL
— Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) October 23, 2013
@RedSox When the #PostCards win the #WorldSeries, we want @Wally97 to put #Fredbird’s name on the Green Monster for one day. #BOSvsSTL — St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) October 23, 2013
.@cardinals well when the @RedSox win the #WorldSeries, we want #Fredbird to grow (or wear) a beard for one day. #GetBeard #BOSvsSTL — Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) October 23, 2013
— St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) October 23, 2013
Looks like we have ourselves a little mascot wager. Can’t wait to see what Fred looks like with a beard.
-MattyV
PS- Ryan says: “PostCards. Cool name….NOT”
Looks Like I’ll Be Eating Ice Cream All Weekend
(Source) “It’s perhaps the ultimate bar snack – but it could leave you just as hung-over as the liquid refreshments on offer at your local pub.
A U.S firm has introduced a range of unique beer ice creams, and unlike your usual tub of raspberry ripple, cookie dough or vanilla, they are alcoholic.
The ice cream, called Frozen Pints, comes in seven different flavours with the strongest having an alcohol level of 3.2 per cent – the same as a low-point beer.
The new range is the brainchild of Ari Fleischer, from New York, who says that the idea was born purely out of accident.
‘We were having a party and a friend brought over an ice cream maker to make homemade ice cream,’ explained the 29-year-old.
‘But another friend spilled a beer nearby, and I watched it happen and thought “this is a great idea!”
‘I’m really passionate about craft beer, and love ice cream, so I picked it up as a hobby and started experimenting with different flavour combinations.
‘We start with the beer as it is all about finding the best, most flavourful craft brews – and then build a flavour around them.”
Who does the marketing for this company, Jesus Christ? Because they are knocking it out of the park. Frozen Pints? Genius. “Have your beer and eat it too”? Double genius. Everybody loves ice cream. Everybody loves beer. Now you’re telling me I can eat a bowl of ice cream and get hammered at the same time? What a beautiful thing. The only thing I’m worried about is once I have these Frozen Pints I’ll probably never want actual bottled beer again. I’ll just be a man with his ice cream beer, ready to conquer the world.
– Ryan
Monsterblog Wednesday – Kim and Kanye’s Wedding Gifts
Kim and Kanye are officially engaged. While the whole world has their own opinion on the engagement, the Nobodies are preparing for a wedding invitation that will never, ever come. That’s not going to stop us from brainstorming up the perfect wedding gift for the dynamic duo.
The Gift of Being Famous For No Reason
Since Hollywood won’t give her one, I figured I’d pull some strings* and get Kim her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. After all the sex tapes, and reality shows, and 10 day marriages, Kim will finally have the star that’s been eluding her all these years. Nobody deservers it less than you. Congrats!
*Matt spray painted her name on a star.
-Ryan
The Gift of Steady Video
I am giving the newlyweds a high quality tripod. Since Kim has been known to “star” in her own “films” and Kanye “the creative genius” West will not stand for any shaky hand-cam videos, I thought that this gift would be perfect. If these two are going to be making them, might as well do it right.
Too bad Ray J didn’t have one of these back when he was taking Kim to pound town. Hey, at least he can sleep at night knowing he hit it first*.
*what a dumb fucking song
-MattyV
