Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Shipping Up For Game 6
This afternoon The Average Nobodies are shipping up to Boston to watch game six of The World Series from a bar outside of Fenway! We will keep you updated by way of vines (@averagenobodies), tweets (@averagenobodies), and videos (youtube.com/theaveragenobodies)! The Nobodies and Boston are in for one hell of a night!
GO SOX!
-MattyV
Anonymous North Dakota Woman is Our Annual Example of People Who Take Halloween Too Seriously
(Source) “A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems “moderately obese” a letter instead of candy this Halloween.
I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. … I think it’s just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just ’cause all the other kids are doing it,” the woman said in a morning radio interview with Y-24. She wouldn’t identify herself.
The letter states: “You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.”
It continues: “My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.”
North Dakota State University assistant professor of clinical psychology Katie Gordon told Valley News Live in Fargo that the letter could be more emotionally damaging than helpful.
“It’s just that kind of thing that for some kids, if they’re vulnerable, might trigger major problems,” Gordon said. “Even if a child is overweight, they might be very healthy because of what they eat and how they exercise. It’s ineffective anyway because it’s not likely to help the kid.”
Every year somebody’s got to be the hero. There’s always the one house that hands out pennies or stamps or pencils. Single handedly eliminating obesity by not giving the 25 kids who come to your house candy. Have you seen some of these monsters? They’ll probably eat the pennies. Now you’re giving children copper poisoning. Only a sick son of a bitch would give a kid copper poisoning. But this woman is taking it to the next level. Hand writing letters condemning parents for their obese children? That’s some diabolical shit. Talk about having too much time on your hands. The funny thing is this lady honestly thinks she’s going to win a medal or something for doing this. I really hate these people who think they’re superheroes because they’re denying kids candy for a day. I got news for you: these kids get obese because they’re parents let them eat like shit and they’d rather watch tv and play video games than go outside and move around. One less Snicker’s bar on Halloween isn’t going to change that. Stop trying to be a hero and give the kids what they want: delicious, sugary, chocolatey candy.
– Ryan
P.S. Heartbreak city if you get picked out and given this letter. Those kids will never celebrate Halloween again.
Monsterblog Wednesday: Our Favorite Celebrity Halloween Costumes
Celebrities and Halloween: a match made in heaven. Thanks to the internet, we got to see hundreds of celebrities dressed up this year, but we narrowed it down to our favorite ones.
Leonardo ” I Can Dress Like This and Still Get More Girls Than You” DiCaprio
This is when you know you have “it”. You dress as whatever the hell this is, and still come off as the coolest guy in the room. I don’t know what look Leo was going for, but I do know I’ll be wearing the exact same thing next year.
– Ryan
Tom “The Cowardly Lion” Brady and Gisele “Hot Dorothy” Bundchen
The ultimate power couple is at it again! Being a die-hard Bucs fan has no advantages, but at least I get to see the home team, and more specifically Tommy here, strut his stuff with his smoking hot wife. They could have dressed as giant fleas and still would have gotten my vote.
-MattyV
ICYMI: Saturday Night Live Review – Edward Norton & Janelle Monae
Edward Norton is your host this week, with the lovely Janelle Monae as the musical guest. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights..
Wes Anderson New Horror Movie Trailer
I’m not one to brag, but I did call a Wes Anderson sketch earlier this week. As someone who has had the pleasure of watching one of Mr. Anderson’s film, this sketch was a joy to watch. The SNL team obviously did their homework, as this trailer looks like it was constructed by Wes himself. The sketch was headline by Norton, who put in a spot on Owen Wilson impression. All the tiny quirks that make Anderson’s movies so enjoyable were on display in this mock trailer. Alec Baldwin narrating the sketch didn’t hurt, either.
Weekend Update featuring Anthony Crispino
Weekend Update is now officially Bobby Moynihan’s playground. Drunk Uncle is usually the one to steal show, but the secondhand news correspondent Anthony Crispino is pretty incredible as well. Moynihan, with a mustache, in a strong New York/Italian accent, falsely reporting the news. I could watch it all day. Seth Myers and Cecily Strong are getting better week by week.
Critter Control
Brooks Wheelan and Edward Norton play cousins who love them some critters. A funny scenario that was executed well, thanks in large to part to Wheelan who really carried this sketch. Norton’s impression were great all night, and this sketch is no exception.
School Visit
Nasim Pedrad lives! Another funny scenario, this time with a more ensemble cast effort. Norton was great as the cop, and he’s been the best host so far this season. Pedrad is easily the star of this sketch, though, as the bratty ring leader of the scatterbrained school kids. Here’s hoping they start featuring her more.
Steve Harvey Halloween Special
This is clearly not the best Steve Harvey sketch SNL has done, but anytime we get to see Kenan play Steve it’s a joy to watch. 5 seconds of Kenan’s bug eyes are worth it for me.
Trick or Treat: Halloween Candy
This sketch was kind of bizarre, but I dug it. Again, Norton played the part to a T, and Bobby Moynihan and Aidy Bryant played a good second fiddle. Norton is definitely someone I would never want to get candy from, especially after that razor blade joke.
Another week of SNL in the books, and Edward Norton was fantastic as the host. I’d have to say he was the best host so far this season, getting the edge over Tina Fey based on the number of sketches he was in and the range of characters he played. I could’ve used a little more Taran Killam and Kate McKinnon, but Nasim Padrad and Brooks Wheelan looked strong tonight, and the rest of the cast steered the course. Next week: Kerry Washington and musical guest Eminem. Happy watching.
– Ryan
Dallas Mavericks 2013-2014 Championship Run Begins Tomorrow Night
The Red Sox are on the verge of winning the world series so I’d be lying if I said I’ve been paying attention to preseason basketball. What I do know, however, is that Dirk Nowitzski is the greatest living basketball player in history. Add in the fact that we picked up some above average guards (ellis, harris, calderon) and drafted a few with bright futures ( larkin, ledo) and all of a sudden our back court looks good. We kept our head coach, who is very underrated and has a championship under his belt, as well as two key veterans (marion, carter). Solid team, right? Well our center is Samuel Dalembert, so that kind of negates every other good move we made. Here’s hoping Dirk Nowitzski stays healthy, we eek out a playoff spot, then fail miserably to land a big free agent next off season.
– Ryan
Juan Mendez is Apparently a Big Fan of Hamburgers
(Source) “State police arrested a 33-year-old man who allegedly walked up to a Long Island McDonald’s drive-thru window and threatened to shoot employees unless the worker at the window gave him some hamburgers.
Juan Mendez-DePaz allegedly told the worker he had two guns in his vest when he went to the fast-food restaurant in Riverside early Sunday.
The worker closed the window and called 911.
State troopers responded and confronted Mendez-DePaz in the parking lot. He was still wearing the cowboy hat and black vest described in the McDonald’s worker’s 911 call, police said.
The suspect displayed a large knife on his hip, and was taken into custody after a brief struggle, state police said.
Mendez-DePaz was charged with criminal possession of a weapon and first-degree robbery.
Information on an attorney for him wasn’t immediately available.”
Juan, Juan, Juan. First day of robbery school you go over robbing a McDonalds drive thru on foot. If you’re actually going to try and execute this robbery, a swift plan B should definitely include fleeing the scene in some capacity once they inevitably close the drive thru window and call the police. You’re not winning any humanitarian awards standing in the parking lot with what I have to believe was a beautiful black vest and an enormous knife. Get your shit together, Juan, and next time you’re going to rob a burger joint, pick a respectable establishment that doesn’t put onions on their burgers.
– Ryan
P.S. Information on an attorney for him wasn’t immediately available. You don’t say? You mean to tell me attorney’s aren’t chomping at the bit to represent this guy? Shocking.
No Big Deal, Clooney’s Now Dating the Smartest Girl in the World
(Source) “No one thought the world’s most eligible bachelor would stay single for long, so when George Clooney was snapped spending time with a beautiful brunette, it didn’t come as a big surprise.
But, up until today, the identity of the woman in red Clooney dined with at Berners Tavern in London last week was unknown. However, E! has now identified the lucky lady as British lawyer Amal Alamuddin. (A rep for Clooney did not respond to omg!’s request for confirmation.)
Alamuddin, with her long dark hair and exotic looks, is quite different from the “Gravity” star’s most recent ex, blond former pro-wrestler Stacey Kiebler, except for the model-esque physique obviously!
The previously unknown Brit, who attended Oxford University, isn’t afraid of the limelight. Alamuddin specializes in international law, human rights, extradition, and criminal law and is currently representing a very high-profile client: WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange in his fight against Sweden for extradition.”
Clooooooney. Just when you think he’s pulled out all the stops, dated every beautiful woman on this planet, he pulls the trump card. Just sneaks in and starts dating Julian Assange’s lawyer, who by all accounts seems like the smartest woman in the world. She’s also pretty easy on the eyes. What a stud. It’s Clooney’s world folks, we just have the pleasure of going along for the ride.
– Ryan
The Ohio State Marching Band is the Most Impressive Group of Human Beings I Have Ever Seen
If you are not impressed by this then I feel bad for you. This has to be one of the most impressive sights I have ever seen. Not only can the Ohio State marching band play their instruments and march extremely well, but they can make intricate pictures on the field…that move! I have seen this routine many times, but never as flawless as this. If you’re strapped for time and can’t watch the whole thing (But I suggest you eventually watch the entire thing), skip to 7:20 to experience greatness.
-MattyV
