Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
The Weirdest Woman in the World Sat Ringside at TNA Impact Last Night
Hey Lady down in front https://t.co/LlMshJ2Onl
— The Average Nobodies (@AverageNobodies) November 1, 2013
Usually when something like this happens Twitter or the wrestling sites will have a funny blurb about this woman just standing awkwardly during the entire show. This time? Nothing. It’s almost as if noone noticed she was standing there. Not the fans, not the announcers, not even the people watching on TV. She wasn’t even facing the ring either. Just standing there with her purse with the side of her body facing the ring. And she did this for the entire two hour show. Maybe she’s never been to an event before, but you’d figure she’d get the hint after 10-15 minutes of being the only one standing. Bizarro world.
– Ryan
Can We Talk About What A Professional The Bullpen Cop Is
The world unraveling around him and he has the professional attitude to not leave his post at the Sox bullpen. If I was that cop I would have been on Papi’s shoulders drinking that giant bottle of champagne in a millisecond.
If I know this guy he is probably still at his post, on watch for wrong doers.
-MattyV
You Know You Had a Good Night When You Wake Up On A Horse
A German man who fell asleep while on horseback ended up having an “unsaddling” experience. The unidentified 26-year-old man was staggering around in Landsberg, Germany, on Saturday night, when he found his way into a cozy stable, TheLocal.de reported. For some reason, he decided the back of a horse was the best place to get some shut-eye and he passed out there. The horse’s owner came in the next morning and found him passed out. Not wanting to horse around with a drunk, the woman called the police who took the man home, Anorak.co.uk reported. -Huff Post
I am no stranger to waking up in weird spots after a decently heavy night of drinking. Bath tubs, front lawns, cars..etc. What I don’t have experience with is waking up on top of a horse. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think I could ride or balance myself on a horse, sober. Never mind blackout drunk. That is some talent.
-MattyV
PS- Since all these horse related crimes have been popping up I decided to dig a little deeper and find others as well:
In September, Patrick Neal Schumacher, 45, was arrested after allegedly riding a horse while intoxicated. Witnesses told the Colorado University Police Department that Schumacher was wandering into traffic while going up a busy road. Witnesses also said Schumacher was hitting his horse, Dillon, but he told police he was trying to swat a fly off the horse’s head.
In August, Diane Harvey was sentenced to four days in jail after slapping a mounted police officer’s horse. It all started after the officer rode up and asked the woman to empty out a large cup of beer. Harvey, who was apparently intoxicated, refused and began walking away. The officer then blocked her way with his horse, and the irate Harvey slapped the animal.
In September, 2012, Charles Larkin Cowart, 29, was arrested in Bunnell, Fla., for being intoxicated on a horse, but only after he led police on a 30-minute chase.
What the hell is happening to this world.
Goodbye Rob Ford
“Unless Toronto police is part of the vast media conspiracy directed by the Toronto Star — and many in Ford Nation will cling to this nonsensical notion — the Mayor of Toronto is finished.
Rob Ford has repeatedly lied to Torontonians, deceived his political colleagues at city hall and proven himself totally unfit to lead Canada’s largest city.
That is now obvious from hundreds of pages of police documents released through the courts Thursday morning.
And then there is the bombshell from police Chief Bill Blair, namely, that confirms Toronto Star reports were correct when they claimed the existence of video that shows Ford smoking what appears to be crack cocaine.
Police have a computer hard drive with a copy of the video and Ford’s friend Alexander “Sandro” Lisi (charged with drug dealing) now faces added charges of extortion over the video, Blair revealed.
This is the video Ford refused to comment on because, he claimed, it did not exist and he had not seen it.
Blair, speaking for Torontonians as no one else could on a shocking Halloween morning, said he was “disappointed.”
“I’m disappointed. I know this is a traumatic issue for the residents of this city,” Blair said, adding the matter was of “significant public concern.”
Rob Ford is our creation — all of us.”
Farewell you sweaty, obese, crack smoking maniac. Thr fact that you were the mayor of a major city in this world truly defies all logic. We’ll miss you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xopTJAaBP7k&feature=youtube_gdata_player
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oljtWOwfNDo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
– Ryan
If You Have a Problem with Sriracha Then You Have a Problem With Me
(Source) “A judge is set to decide Thursday whether to grant Irwindale’s request to stop production of Sriracha sauce while the company tries to limit odors wafting into the neighborhood.
The decision could have serious ramifications for next years’ supplies of Huy Fong Food’s three hot sauces: Chili Garlic, Sambal Oelek, and the wildly popular Sriracha “rooster” sauce.
The city of Irwindale sued Huy Fong Foods on Monday, claiming the spicy scent of ground peppers is a public nuisance in violation of the municipal code. The lawsuit came after some nearby residents complained of burning eyes and throats.
If the restraining order is granted, a judge will then decide whether to grant a preliminary injunction during a later hearing.
The city also asked for a permanent injunction which, if granted, would stop all operations at the plant until Huy Fong Foods can remedy the smell to both the court and city’s satisfaction.
Sriracha has emerged as the condiment of the moment. It was formulated in L.A.’s Chinatown by a Vietnamese Chinese immigrant decades ago and attracted a cult following.”
What’s that saying, “if you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen”? Well if you don’t like Sriracha you’re wrong and stupid and you should leave the country. The hot sauce is making your eyes water? You don’t say. It’s fucking hot sauce. You live with the side effects because it makes everything taste so much better. I love sriracha. I put on my eggs. I put it on my oysters. I put a dab in my hair when I’m having a rough day. Don’t you take this beautiful creation away from me because you have a sore throat. Gargle some salt water and stop being such a bitch. End scene.
– Ryan
Did the Red Sox Win The World Series Last Night? And Were The Average Nobodies There To Witness History?
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Louis Tiant having a blast https://t.co/AHGjGbzDU2
— The Average Nobodies (@AverageNobodies) October 31, 2013
Hoisting the world series cup https://t.co/kwIIS1wbJo
— The Average Nobodies (@AverageNobodies) October 31, 2013
We did it !!!!!
— Dustin Pedroia (@15Lasershow) October 31, 2013
As the great @bobmarley would say… “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!” #BostonStrong 👍👊⚾️
— Shane Victorino (@ShaneVictorino) October 31, 2013
Yes they did. Yes we were.
What a season. From 69-93 to 108-70, and champions of the baseball world. I wrote last week about the power of sports to heal people, and cities, in a time of need. The 2013 Boston Red Sox went beyond that. They put their hands on our collective shoulders and assured us, just like in that famous Bob Marley song that accompanies every Victorino plate appearance, that everything was going to be alright. No stat chatter needed today. Simply stated, I’ve never had more fun watching a team, and I’ll never forget the feeling of pure joy I felt when Koji fittingly got that final strikeout. I’ve never high fived so many strangers, and it’s never felt so right. Now, there’s only one thing left do. Freddie, take it away..
– The Average Nobodies
Apparently Everyone in North Dakota is Insane
“A bacon-eating, beer-guzzling burglar is on the loose in North Dakota.
Last week, a 30-year-old Bismarck woman told police that someone broke into her home, then cooked some of her bacon in the microwave, The Bismarck Tribune reported. Three cans of Bud Light were also missing from the residence. The break-in took place sometime between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. Monday, when the resident returned home and noticed the distinct scent of cooked bacon lingering in the air.
It is unclear whether the suspect, if caught, will face additional charges for the unforgivable crime of cooking bacon in a microwave.
The delectable salty breakfast food has lured others to criminal activity in the past.
Last year, a Missouri man was sentenced to seven years in prison after breaking into a stranger’s home and frying bacon in her kitchen, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
And in 2011, three teens broke into a store freezer in Indiana and made off with $90 worth of bacon.“
First we had the hero who’s writing fat kids letters for Halloween, and now we have the most laid back burglar of all time. Why even report this to the police? The guy was obviously craving bacon, and he must’ve ran out. The only crime I can think of would be to not enjoy a few bud lights while cooking said bacon. You’ve already went through the trouble or breaking and entering the house and cooking the bacon. Treat yo self with a few beers. I wonder if this was the first house he broke into, or did he need to break into numerous houses to find one with bacon? Either way, the clear motive was a bacon breakfast. The breaking and entering part was just collateral damage. Whether they find this mastermind or not, one thing has been made very clear: North Dakota news reporters are awful at getting people’s names for their stories.
– Ryan
