Category Archives: Average Blog Posts

Average Blog Posts

Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.

Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.

It’s The End of the World and These People Don’t Know it (sing it to rhythm the REM song)

What do you do in a situation like this? I’d like to say I’d keep my cool, but let’s be honest I probably would be losing my shit like these people. Let’s just thank god I wasn’t put in this situation with an attractive interviewer. I could have made those “last few minutes” on Earth pretty awkward.

-MattyV

I Think it’s Safe to Say Kate Upton Won the Melbourne Cup

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Let’s all be quiet and let Chris De Burgh’s beautiful voice do the talking for us.

– Ryan

Tech Tuesday – Super Mario Meets Link Meets Star Fox Meets…

Whoever made this….thank you. It captures the sights and sounds of my childhood.

DO A BARREL ROLL!

-MattyV

Erotic Cream Cheese Massage: Yay or Nay?

(Source) “Malaysian “spas” are dispensing with massage oil in favor of cream cheese in a kinky new offering in the country’s bustling erotic massage industry.

The weekend edition of the Malay-language Harian Metro said reporters from the tabloid discovered that some spas near the capital Kuala Lumpur were offering customers the option of being smeared with cream cheese.

The cheese is then licked from the customer’s body by their scantily-clad “masseuse,” usually a likely sex worker from China, Indonesia or Vietnam, the paper said on Sunday in what it billed as an investigative report on the sex industry.

Prostitution is illegal in predominantly Muslim Malaysia, where conservative attitudes toward sex prevail.

But the country’s media regularly portray a thriving sex industry involving prostitutes from China, Vietnam, Thailand and other less-developed countries in the region, and often disguised as massage operations.

In a follow-up report on Monday, Harian Metro quoted an official in the Kuala Lumpur suburb Subang Jaya, where a spa was reportedly offering the cheese treatment, as saying massage parlors would face stern action if found to be offering “irresponsible activities”.

“This activity is a serious disease in today’s society,” said Subang Jaya town council official Azfarizal Abdul Rashid.

Most Malaysians are relatively conservative Muslim ethnic Malays but the country also has sizable ethnic Chinese and Indian communities.

Police raids on prostitution operations are a staple of tabloids like Harian Metro, but authorities are widely viewed to generally turn a blind eye to the industry’s activities.”

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On the one hand the thought of chinese sex workers licking cream cheese off my body is kind of repulsing. On the other hand, if I’m going to one of these Malaysian massage parlors and someone offers me a cream cheese massage I’m going to have a hard time saying no. How do you say no to that? I’m not proud of a lot of things I’ve done but i don’t want to be known as the guy who turned down a cream cheese massage. I’d become the laughing stock of the entire nation. I wouldn’t want to be the initiator, but if it’s put on my plate I’m going to eat it. Hopefully the terrible diseases that I’d 100% get from the sex workers will be worth it.

– Ryan

If Jack Del Rio Doesn’t Wear a Suit or Leather Jacket Sunday I’ll Be Severely Disappointed

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I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for a coordinator to become an interim head coach. Then again, it’s not everyday that someone with Jack Del Rio’s sense of style is given this opportunity. You have to figure that the camera’s will pan to Del Rio at least 20 times Sunday, so if he wears the wrong outfit Denver might just fire him on the spot. I’d go with the dress shirt and tie, but instead of a sport coat, I’d throw on an official Denver Broncos leather jacket. It’s already a given that Denver will beat San Diego on the road, so the only thing left to focus on is Jack Del Rio’s wardrobe. I have a feeling he’s going to blow us all away.

– Ryan

P.S. There’s a 90% chance Del Rio refuses to give John Fox his job back. He’s the ultimate wildcard.

Northwestern is Dominating the College Football Jersey Scene

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I’ve never needed something more in my life. These jerseys are everything we love about America: football, flags and excess.

– Ryan

Someone Ask Me If I “Have a Case of The Mondays”, I Double Dog Dare You

Stupidest saying on the face of the earth, besides, of course: Yolo, Team_____ (i.e. Team iPhone), Sorry Not Sorry, _____Flow (i.e. Gym Flow), and “started from the bottom, now we here”.

-MattyV

As Expected, Saturday Night Live Has the Best Parody of “The Fox”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foMQX9ZExsE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

It was only a matter of time before SNL got their hands on the weird sensation that is “the fox”. As usual, their parody of a viral hit is smart and hysterical. Nobody cheats on Kerry Washington and gets away with it.

– Ryan

P.S. Full SNL review will be here Wednesday.