Category Archives: Average Blog Posts

Average Blog Posts

Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.

Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.

Jennifer Lawrence Cut Her Hair and Surprise! She’s Still on Fire

image

image

image

There’s a recurring theme in the three pictures above: Jennifer Lawrence’s insane hotness. Short hair, long hair, straight hair, blonde hair, brown hair; unless she gets a face transplant she’s still going to be one of the hottest woman on the planet. Since we’re close to the same age and we’re pretty even in the popularity category, I’ve assumed the responsibility of protecting her from the wrath of media. Still waiting on a dinner date as a thank you.

– Ryan

“Mexico’s Fattest Brothers” Might Be the Worst Nickname Two People Could Ever Have

(Source) “At the age of 15, Juan Luis Vanegas Bravo  weighed 320 pounds.

His brother, Pedro, weighed over 300 pounds  at 14.

Obese from childhood, the pair came to be  known as Mexico’s fattest brothers.

But following the 2005 death of their father  Juan Manuel – who died from complications of his own condition after having  eight surgeries – the siblings knew they had to make a change.

Becoming the first minors in the country to  receive gastric bypass surgery, they are now shadows of their former  selves.

‘I realized that if I didn’t lose weight, I  was going to end up like my dad,’ Juan Luis told Vice.

‘We had to try hard to get the surgery,  though – I was underage at the time, so government-run hospitals wouldn’t admit  me.’

The pair first started getting fat when they  were three because ‘there was a lot of eating.’

‘I started getting worried, so I took them  swimming, to soccer practice, Taekwondo, anything,’ said their mother, Juana, 51,  said.

‘My mistake was having a duplex refrigerator  and filling it with cold cuts every 15 days. Anything you craved, you could find  it in our fridge.’

The mom said she didn’t realize the condition  her sons were in.

‘You don’t realize how fat your children  are,’ she said.

‘Every year they went to school, I had their  trousers custom-made.

‘I didn’t realize they were a size 38 when  they were six, or 40 when they were ten. And I didn’t know how to reverse it  when I did realize.’

In 2009, Juan Luis had a gastric sleeve  applied in the Rubén Leñero General Hospital in Mexico City, reducing the size  of his stomach between 60 and 85 percent.

Following the surgery he lost an astonishing  230 pounds.”

image

I’ve heard of some unflattering nicknames, but this one might take the cake. Not only are you morbidly obese, but you have the distinction of being the fattest brothers in an entire country. Millions of people in Mexico and these two get singled out as the fattest ones. That’s got to be tough to swallow. Which is ironic because these two don’t look like they’ve had trouble swallowing anything in their entire life. I guess when your pants are a size 40 at the age of 10 people start taking notice. Before you know it, you’re the fattest people in Mexico. Somehow the mother didn’t realize how fat her sons were getting. So the fact that you had to custom make their pants every year didn’t trigger an alarm? Thought it was just a fun arts and crafts project? At least they got some help; being that young and that enormous isn’t good for anybody. With that said, if these two ever make it to the states, it’s all you can eat taco bell on me.

– Ryan

Sarah Connor – Badass Hottie

sarah connor

AWH YEAH. Love me some Sarah Connor. She has to be the most badass chick in film, right? Cigarette in the mouth, loading up a M-16,and ready to kill some terminators. Revving up my engine as I blog this.  Michelle Rodriguez might be a close second, but you can’t beat Sarah Connor. No way, no how.

Sarah-Connor

-MattyV

Richie Incognito Wants Your Lunch Money

Richie Display(pic)

 

Get your Incognito Lunch Money Tees in time for Monday Night Football!

-MattyV

Saturday Night Live Review – Kerry Washington & Eminem

Kerry Washington and her fine self is your host. The hysterical Eminem is the musical guest. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights..

Cold Open – White House

Everyone knew this was coming. The casting of six white cast members (5 male) during SNL’s off season irked critics who’ve longed for more female black cast members. Washington is our first black host of the year, so it makes sense to talk about the elephant in the room. The text on screen was hysterical, and Washington played a good Michelle Obama and Oprah.

What Does My Girl Say?

Blogged about this earlier in the week. The SNL digital shorts have been solid this season, and as expected, SNL takes the cake when it comes to parodies of ridiculous pop culture hits. Who that, who that, who that bitch. Kinda catchy.

Weekend Update

I feel like there hasn’t been a bad weekend update in years. Seth and Cecily are a killer team, so it will be bittersweet when he leaves for his own late night talk show. Jay Pharaoh and Kenan’s Shaq and Barkley impressions are so good it’s creepy. Seriously, though: WHAT’S EATING THE RATS IN NYC!?

Career Week Speaker

This may be the year Nasim Pedrad breaks free. She got to star in two sketches last week, and her hand movements/gyrations coordinated with lasers were pretty awesome in this sketch. Can’t deny the success of someone who owns a Honda Prelude. Also, Kerry Washington can be my sidekick any day.

Ice Cream

Put a bunch of 25-35 year old guys in a room with a decent amount of weed and you have the ice cream sketch. This was bizarre, but I liked it. Compared to some of the sketches me and my friends have come up with, this is quasi normal. The digital shorts/ pre-taped segments have all been really good this season.

Kerry Washington was a great host, and Eminem was making me LMAO. Not really, but he lip synced his way through a few songs, which is fine with me. Another solid episode, with a few OK sketches, but for the most part a good show. SNL went out of it’s way to address the lack of a black female character, a trend I hope doesn’t continue. They’re in the business of making people laugh, not answering every gripe from boneheads with a computer. We’re back November 16th with musical guest and host, Lady Gaga.

Matt Lauer & Al Roker Are Getting Prostate Exams on Live TV

(Source)Matt Lauer and Al Roker of “The Today  Show” will undergo every man’s least favorite diagnostic medical procedure  Thursday morning — on live television.

As part of a month-long campaign to raise aware of men’s health issues,  Lauer and Roker will have prostate exams on-camera during the show.

The procedure involves a manual digital examination of the prostate gland to  determine whether its size and shape are normal.

It is often part of routine physical checkups for men, though some elect to  bypass it because of the discomfort.

Is this really necessary? I understand your raising awareness for prostate cancer but there has to be other ways of doing it. I don’t wanna see anyone get a prostate exam, especially Matt Lauer and Al Roker. Also, this is the fall of Matt Lauer. Every great American has a rise and fall. He climbed to the top of the ladder at the Today Show, and now the only place he can go is down. First he dresses as Pamela Anderson, now he’s getting his prostate checked on live television. I shutter to think what’s next.

– Ryan

I Don’t Think Dwight Howard Has Ever Watched UFC

110513-UFC-Velasquez-NBA-Rockets-Howard-HF-PI_20131105161545334_660_320

Dwight Howard, an NBA locker room headache for 10 years now, says he’d be willing to one day fight in the UFC – for a $10 million price tag.

“If I get knocked out, I get knocked out,” said Howard, who signed a four-year, $88 million deal with the Rockets in July. “I’ll get back up one day.” – FOXSports.com

Knocked out? You want to fight MMA, and the worst case scenario you can think of is getting knocked out? You’re dumber than you act/look.

Dwight, take a look at this

Can’t knock the hustle though. I would do a TON of dumb shit for 10 million. But Dwight, you just signed an 88 million dollar contract, I didn’t. Lay low, bro.

-MattyV

MMLP2 Verdict

I’ve spent the last two days listening to Eminem’s new album “The MMLP2”, and here’s what I have to say: Go out and get it! Can’t say enough good things about this CD. A true album, containing 20 songs that are 4 minutes or more. Totaling 1 hour and 42 minutes of listening time. Every song sounds better than the last, and just like in true Eminem fashion the singles (Rap God and Berzerk) aren’t even the best songs on it! For me, the best has to be Love Game featuring Kendrick. Enjoy

 

 

The Marshall Mathers LP 2 is HOT FIRE.

-MattyV

PS- For all the people out there calling it “Relapse 2”, I don’t see the insult, Relapse was awesome. Everyone’s a critic.