Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Craig Cobb Did Not Have the Best Veterans Day
“A self-proclaimed white supremacist underwent a DNA test to ‘prove’ his genetic heritage, only to be told on live television he was 86 per cent European – and 14 per cent of Sub-Saharan African heritage.
Sixty-two-year-old Craig Cobb claims he follows the ‘Creator’ which “favours racial awareness” and has been attempting to create a “white enclave” in North Dakota by quietly buying up land in the small town of Leith, despite anti-racism rallies and town meetings against his plans.
He submitted his DNA as part of host Trisha Goddard’s Race in America series, who gave him the results to a delighted audience, telling Cobb: “You have a little Black in you”. However, Cobb can be heard dismissing the results as “statistical noise” and refused to fist bump with the host.
Cobb, who lived in the town for a year before residents became aware of his agenda, has allegedly harassed the only bi-racial couple in the small community, leaving notes pinned to their door asking Sherrill Harper, who is married to African-American Bobby Harper: “What are you doing married to a negro?”, reported the Mail Online.
Cobb has also placed a sign reading “Village of the Damned” on one of his plots of land, accompanied by a red swastika.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQtysS7fB4k&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Craig Cobb must feel pretty stupid. Rule number one of being a White supremacist has to be to make sure you’re not black. I feel like that defeats the whole point. Who’s going to listen to a white supremacist that is 14% black? At that point you’re just being ignorant. Harassing bi racial couples and placing swastikas on your land probably seems like a bad idea right about now. My question is where does Craig Cobb go from here? The black population hates you because you’re an ignorant piece of shit. You’re white supremacist buddies can’t be seen joshing around with a black guy. The only move is to fade into bolivian and hope the world forgets you. We all thought Dave Chappelle was crazy for suggesting such a crazy idea. Looks like he was ahead of the curve.
– Ryan
The Miami Dolphins Might Have Had the Worst Week in NFL History
Not the ideal week for the dolphins. Their locker room is in shambles. One of their offensive lineman checked into a mental hospital and another one is apparently a terrible racist who was suspended by his own team. Their fans think Richie Incognito is in jail for some reason, and to cap off the week from hell, they lost to the winless Buccaneers on Monday Night Football. If this isn’t Bob Kraft witchcraft then I don’t know what is. Looks like the Patriot’s are no longer content with winning the division every year. They want to physically and emotionally decimate the competition along the way.
– Ryan
Happy Veterans Day
To those who have served, those who are serving, and to all future veterans: thank you. Happy Veterans day everybody.
– Average Nobodies
4 Reasons Why Ron Swanson is the Best Mentor We’ve Ever Had
1. The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
– Every great man needs a pyramid of greatness. Unwritten rule of life. This is how boys become men, and men become heroes. Ever heard of a hero drinking skim milk? Neither have I.
2. Eat Like a Champion, Live Like a Champion
– Steaks, eggs, bacon. If you can’t succeed on that diet, maybe you’re not cut out for life in the fast lane. I know for a fact that if I only ate steak, bacon and eggs during my childhood I’d be a professional athlete. Or dead. Either way, Ron Swanson is right.
3. The Power of the Mustache
– Behind every mediocre man, you’ll find a great man with a mustache. Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Jr, Tom Selleck, Freddie Mercury, Ron Swanson. All American heroes. All hall of fame mustaches.
4. The Best Government is No Government At All
– I’m not saying the government shutdown wouldn’t have happened if Ron Swanson was in charge, but there’s a good chance it wouldn’t have happened. That’s the beauty of the pyramid of greatness: it’s useful in ever facet of life, including the government. Combine that with his eating habits and panty dropping mustache, and you have the greatest mentor in the history of the world.
– Ryan
Jared Allen’s Mustache Gently Sweeping you off your Feet and Into The Weekend
All-American Stache https://t.co/5yiTKlCvJE
— The Average Nobodies (@AverageNobodies) November 8, 2013
-The Average Nobodies
There are Stupid Dares, and then There’s this Girl Sticking Her Ass on an Electric Fence
http://youtu.be/UAE2qUEZPY0?t=1m50s
Skip ahead to the 1:50 mark for the good stuff
If anyone is thinking about going out this long weekend and sticking your bare ass on a electric fence please be sure to check it there is shit in your direct line of passing out. A little pre-planning would have saved this girl a mouth full of poop, because nobody likes a mouth full of poop.
-MattyV
Home Depot is Having One Hell of a Day
(Source) “QUINCY, Mass. (WHDH)– Thirty-six-year-old Home Depot employee, Jamal Boyd, accused of stabbing his co-worker, Corey Frederick, claims it was in self-defense.
The attack was caught on camera on the Home Depot surveillance camera in the ceiling, and while police say this is evidence of attempted murder, the defendant says it is evidence that he was acting in self-defense.
Boyd of Mattapan appeared in court Friday facing two serious charges. Boyd was stocking shelves with a co-worker at the Home Depot on Willard Street in Quincy Thursday morning at 8 a.m. when they got in a fight.
“They had been arguing recently that morning. In the middle of the store in an aisle and they started an argument. The defendant took out a knife from his pocket and the knife had a handle and a four-five inch blade and he took the knife and stabbed the victim in the leg and stabbed through an artery,” said Michelle Armour, prosecutor.
Boyd ran off but came back after receiving cellphone calls from a police lieutenant, and his wife.
Boyd claims he stabbed Corey Frederick only because he thought his life was in danger and his lawyer says he tried repeatedly to get away from Frederick.
Fredrick was seriously wounded and may have lost 50 percent of his blood. He underwent surgery at Boston Medical Center.
A customer helped save Frederick’s life by doing CPR and directing an employee to use his belt as a tourniquet.
“I’m not a hero. Everybody else, they helped out. I just took over, and told people what to do,” said Bill Brothers, help victim.
The victim is in stable condition.
The defendant in this case has at least three kids aged 14 and under, and another one on the way. Boyd’s wife and mother-in-law were here in court.
Another hearing will be held in one month.”
Home Depot used to be so innocent. Not anymore. First the racist tweet, and now apparently the workers are trying to kill each other. Tough day to be in the home remodeling business. I can say with great confidence that I will never step inside a Home Depot again. You hear that HD, you just lost a customer that has shopped at one of your stores 6 times in his life. If I was the CEO of Home Depot I’d take a page out of Michael Scott’s book and just call it quits right now.
– Ryan
P.S. Still can’t decide whether this is an elaborate rouse by Lowe’s. They’re up to something that’s for sure.
Has Anyone Been More Undeserving of a Nickname Than the “Snowboarder Bandit”?
(Source) “A Riverside man dubbed the “Snowboarder Bandit” because of his ski-type clothing and youthful appearance pleaded guilty Thursday to robbing banks throughout Orange County, including one in Newport Beach and three in Irvine.
Michael Brandon Franks, 30, was convicted of 10 felony counts of second-degree robbery and two felony counts of attempted second-degree robbery, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office.
Franks committed 10 robberies at nine banks between December 2011 and March 2012, the Daily Pilot reported.
In each of the robberies, Franks entered the bank wearing distinctive headgear that included a motorcycle helmet or beanie and sunglasses. He then slipped the bank teller a note that stated he had a gun and demanded money, prosecutors said.
Irvine police, with the assistance of FBI agents and Orange County sheriff’s deputies, arrested Franks at his home in Riverside in May 2012.
At the time of his arrest, authorities found money “fanned out” in the passenger side of Franks’ vehicle, a ripped up demand note and several used Band-Aids that were used to cover his fingertips, according to the district attorney’s office.
Franks faces up to 10 years and six months in state prison when he is sentenced in January.”
I have to admit when I read this article I was jealous of this guy. Not only is he robbing banks, but the cops slapped him with a cool ass nickname. “The Snowboarder Bandit”. Ironic, since he lives in California, but still cool. I pictured him sliding in on a snowboard in full gear and goggles and calmy saying “give me your money dudes”. All the female bank tellers secretly love him and the security guards straight up respect his style. Turns out the “snowboarder bandit” wears a sweater vest, jeans, sneakers and a winter hat. Whoever is giving out bank robbing nicknames needs to reevaluate their criteria. This is bullshit. Not one thing about this guy makes me think he goes snowboarding. Call him the “winter hat in a tropical climate bandit”. That seems a little more fitting. I’m glad this guy got arrested. That’s what he gets for living a lie.
– Ryan
Average Nobodies Podcast- 139 DuoCast on 420 April 21, 2022
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