Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Jon Hamm Dominates No-shave November
If I could even grow a beard half-as-magnificent as that I could die happy. I’m also pretty sure that Jon Hamm could shave a stripe right down the middle of his head and still get any girls to swoon all over him. Jon Hamm, teach me your ways.
Every time someone tells me that I can’t grow a beard (because I can’t) this is how I feel.
-MattyV
Jason Babin Will Rip Out Your Hair With No Remorse
Andre Ellington is probably getting a weave put in right now. Just a brutal “part of the jersey” type rule right here. Is this a surprise? No. Babin is an aggressive player and morale is pretty low in the Jags locker room. It was only a matter of time before Jaguar players started ripping opponents hair out. Wouldn’t be shocked if they start biting next week.
-MattyV
Happy Birthday to the Unofficial Mayor of Boston
Happy birthday, Big Papi. Hope you and your three rings have a wonderful day!
-The Average Nobodies
Rob Ford Wants to Be the Prime Minister of Canada
(Source) ‘Sorry, kids – I shouldn’t have sworn in front of the kids,’ he said. ‘But after a while, I know what I’m doing is right. I’m serving people. I’m saving taxpayers money. And you know what, I made mistakes, I drank too much, I smoked some crack sometime. What can I say? I made a mistake, I’m human.’
In a separate interview with Fox News, Ford also revealed that his ambitions don’t end with remaining as Toronto mayor and that he wants to be prime minister of Canada.
‘Yes, one day I do want to run for prime minister,’ said Ford.
Rob Ford might be the least self aware person in the history of the universe. Has he drank a little too much on ocassion? Sure. Does he dabble in the crack cocaine game? Of course. Did he imply he eats his wife out all the time at a public hearing calling for his termination? The answer is yes. But despite all that nonsense, he still has dreams. He’s really no different from you or I. Should those small transgressions keep him from climbing the political ladder and becoming the prime minister of Canada? Yes it should. I’ve actually never been more sure of something in my entire life. But I’ve also never rooted for someone to succeed more than Rob Ford. He’s clearly lost his mind, but if running for prime minister means more Rob Ford coverage then I’m ready for the ride. Seatbelt is fastened. Show us what you’re really made of, Rob.
– Ryan
PS-
He’s the hero Toronto deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Crack-smoking Dark Knight.
Farewell Kenny Powers: Thanks for the Fuckin’ Memories
Eastbound and Down closed it’s door last night after four perfect seasons. There was never anyone quite like Kenny Powers on television before he stepped on the mound in 2009, and now that his journey is over, I doubt there will ever be another. Great story. Great characters. Great show. Thanks for the memories Kenny, and Stevie, and April, and every other oddball that made this show so great. End fuckin’ scene.
– Ryan
Cuddle Up To Me is Apparently a Real Company Where People Pay a Stranger to Cuddle With Them
(Source) “Looking for a little extra affection? Meet Sam Hess, a 29-year-old cuddle professional who makes a living by selling snuggles to those in need. Hess is part of a new breed of business people who believe that touch, no matter who it comes from, is the key to a happy life. She hatched the idea after watching a YouTube experiment in which two men offered free or paid hugs to people on the street. “People paid for hugs more than they took the free ones, and I realized that there’s real value in affection,” Hess tells Yahoo Shine. “My friends and boyfriend were a little wary at first, but once they realized I was serious about it, they were supportive.” Hess’s Portland, Oregon based company, called Cuddle Up To Me, offers two basic packages: A 30-minute session for $35 and a 60-minute session for $60 (She charges a $1 per minute in overtime), during which Hess and her client might hold hands, cuddle up on the couch, or spoon to the tune of her “cuddle playlist,” which includes classic music and hits by Phil Collins and Jack Johnson. There are also prepaid weekly sessions and a flat rate for overnight stays. However, before she does business, Hess conducts a free 45-minute meet-and-greet in a public place such as a coffee shop, to assess the intentions of potential clients. “I need to know where a person is coming from so I know what I’m walking into,” she explains.
This is sad. Not “someones dying” sad, but the “he’s sitting all by myself at the restaurant” type of sad. Who’s paying someone $60 an hour to cuddle with them? Splurge and pay the extra $100 for a prostitute like a normal person. I don’t care how many write ups Sam gets Yahoo or any other website to do. This is weird and anyone who thinks otherwise is weird. Buy a teddy bear. Go out in society and meet people. Basically do anything but pay a stranger to come cuddle with you.
– Ryan
P.S. The only thing I’m on board with is the choice of Phil Collins for this girl’s cuddle playlist. I’d love to cuddle to Phil’s angelic voice. Again, just not with a stranger.
The Fact that Mark Davis Owns a Professional Football Team is Mind Boggling
If you’re an Oakland Raiders fan and you’ve ever wondered why your team has been so bad for so long then you really don’t need to look any further than Mark Davis. No self respecting man would ever walk around with that haircut. Ever. THIS is the guy in charge of making decisions for your franchise. All those bizarre head coaching changes make a lot more sense now. The Jamarcus Russell draft? Crystal clear. When you’ve got a haircut like that every decision you make needs to be questioned. Someone needs to hold a closed door meeting with Mark and force him to wear a hat whenever he’s in public. Only logical solution I can think of.
– Ryan
Here’s the Full Soft Core Performance of Lady Gaga & R. Kelly’s ‘Do What U Want’ From SNL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc9F8j1DGks&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I’d love to say that R. Kelly is back, but you and I both know he never left. If apron sales don’t skyrocket by 1000% this week then I have no faith left in people. Yes this performance should’ve been on Cinemax and not NBC. And yes I loved every second of it.
– Ryan
