Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
In Case The First “True Detective” Trailer Didn’t Get You Jazzed Up Enough, Here Is #2
“True Detective” is set to premiere on HBO in January 2014.
-Mattyv
So Much For Dollys Escape From Detroit
HOLLY TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — A llama spotted wandering for nearly six months in Michigan has been captured and is getting a new home.Mlive.com reports (http://bit.ly/I8wtPD ) the llama that Kathy Kuzma calls “Dolly” was found Saturday in Oakland County’s Holly Township, about 40 miles northwest of Detroit.Kuzma has been on the lookout for the animal, which had been wandering her neighborhood. On Saturday, Lisa Davenport came to Kuzma’s house to get a look at the llama. Davenport has three llamas of her own along with other animals at a Michigan farm.The women walked into a field to give the llama some food, and Dolly stood still instead of being her usual skittish self. They then coaxed the llama into a barn.
Davenport plans to take the llama back to her own farm. – Huff Post
So much for that, Dolly. I was really pulling for you too. It’s a shame that your sense of direction isn’t better because all you needed to do was go north and you would have escaped. See, I know what Dolly was after…freedom. Freedom from the armpit of America: Detroit. And even though her farm might not be in the city limits, just being that close to hell would be enough to make a sane llama lose her shit. If it wasn’t for your love of food you might still be on the run. Use that as motivation next time you run away.
-MattyV
This Oklahoma State Fan Knows How to Celebrate
A few half-hearted waves to keep up appearances, then it’s time to get down to the real reason you’re at the game: devouring that turkey leg.
– Ryan
(via Deadspin)
The Most Depressing Study in History Proves People with Severe Allergies Are More Likely to Be Murdered Than Die of an Allergic Reaction
(Source) People with a food allergy are more likely to be murdered than to die from a severe allergic reaction, new research has found.
One in 10 children have an allergy and their parents often worry about the dangers of a severe reaction, or anaphylaxis.
Now researchers at Imperial College London have calculated the risk of a person with a food allergy dying from anaphylaxis.
I’m glad that whoever did this study wants everyone to feel good about the results. “It’s rare that you’ll die from an allergic reaction…but there is a solid chance you’re going to get murdered.” That’s horrifying. I honestly wish the chances were higher of dying from an allergic reaction. Getting murdered just seems a lot less fun. At least if you’re going out with a horrible allergic reaction you have a shot to be eating something delicious. If I were die with a belly full of peanuts I’d be pretty satisfied. If I were hunted down and taken out by someone who looks like the creature in that picture I’d be very upset. Give me the allergic reaction all day.
– Ryan
Nobody Throws a Tomato at Lupe Fiasco..Nobody!
(scroll to 1:10)
Throwing a tomato at someone who is putting on a concert is a low blow move. I’ve heard of people throwing articles of clothes on stage, but once you get into the food category, things get dicey. If you take a tomato with you to a concert, that tomato is serving one purpose: to be thrown at whoever happens to be on the stage that night. You’re not making BLT’s during the intermission. Hopefully you’re not just carrying a tomato with you for no good reason. You’re there to sabotage the performer. You’re a saboteur. The people of Salt Like City put up a good Mormon front, but it’s clear from this video that they’re savages. Savages who throw tomatoes.
– Ryan
Drinking With Class is Back, JACK!
Don’t call it a comeback! Drinking With Class is back with new episodes!
– The Average Nobodies
John Cena Cannot Be Denied. Not Even By You
Last night was WWE’s Survivor Series PPV. The event, unofficially billed as one of WWE’s “Big 4 Four” (Summer Slam, Wrestlemania, The Royal Rumble, and Survivor Series), was quite the show, even though Orton vs Big Show left me wanting more out of the topped billed fight (But that’s for another blog titled “Don’t put Big Show in Main Events”)… I digress. The story and best part of last nights PPV was Cena vs. Del Rio for the Heavy Weight Title. Yes, the Wyatts vs. Bryan and Punk was awesome, but right now I would like to talk Cena with y’all.
First off, nobody, and I mean NOBODY gets a crowd reaction like John Cena. Good or bad, there is no other visceral reaction like that in professional wrestling. Put Cena in a match, the crowd will go nuts for the guy. “Cena Sucks!” “Lets Go Cena!” echo throughout stadiums all over the world. The beginning of his theme music can be like a well placed hand grenade. Send him out and watch the place explode.
I could really talk about the “Cena-effect” (Copyright Matt Vieira) for hours so i’ll move on. The other thing that sets Cena apart from other wrestlers on the WWE roster is his caliber of matches. Say what you want about the guy, but he knows his way around the squared circle and how to put guys over. Case in point, Money in the Bank circa 2011 Jonh Cena vs. CM Punk for the WWE Title.
One of my favorite matches of the last 10 years, and the moment Punk became the man he is today. Why? Because of the man across from him, John Cena. A great series of Promos and the eventual fight will go down in history as some of the best programming the wrestling world has ever seen.
Gone, the days of the “five moves of doom”. Cena’s repertoire of moves has grown exponentially in the last year, and last night it showed. Cena is the peoples champ, the most popular guy in the industry, and, despite Orton’s title, the face of the WWE. John Cena is what’s good for business.
-MattyV
Yeah, Fuck That. I’m Never Eating Fruit Again
A Pennsylvania woman got quite the shock Thursday when she was washing some red grapes and felt her fingers brush up against something slimy. Yvonne Whalen saw a long spider leg creep over the top of one of the pieces of fruit and immediately dropped the colander into the sink. A spider expert later confirmed what Whalen’s initial Internet search revealed — it was a young black widow crawling on the grapes. – HuffPost
Yup my fruit-eating days are done. I might not even set foot back in a supermarket after this. If spiders are my #1 most hated thing on this planet, then Black Widow spiders in my grapes is a personal hell that I want no part of. Spiders go back the way you FUCKING came and leave my fruit alone. If my doctor asks why I haven’t been eating my fruits and veggies this is a total legitimate excuse. All i’m going to eat is pizza, because then at least I know a spider couldn’t survive the baking process. PLUS, I can track the order on my computer through dominos, they would let me know if they spotted any godless, hell beast spiders in my pie. My cholesterol is going to be through the roof, and that’s fine. Just as long as I don’t see any god damn spiders near my food.
-MattyV
