Category Archives: Average Blog Posts
Average Blog Posts
Blogs in this category (Average Blog Posts) have not been put into a category. This is where you can read a backlog of all Average Nobodies blogs.
Bloggers. Wrestling Enthusiasts. Beer drinkers. Movie Quoters. We have our cake and eat it too. Ryan Fogarty and Matt Vieira are The Average Nobodies.
Kanye West Reminds Us That HE, and Only HE, Can Be Considered the World’s Biggest Asshole
Source – Kanye West says performing on his Yeezus tour is similar to going to war.
The 36-year-old claimed in a recent interview that he is risking his life onstage and compared his musical antics to that of a police officer or soldier.
The rapper explained that he could ‘slip’ during one of his complex routines on stage and that he is putting his ‘life at risk, literally’.
The All Of The Lights singer told SaturdayNightOnline.com: ‘Like, I’m just giving of my body on the stage.
I’m putting my life at risk, literally!’
Kanye went on to explain: ‘When I think about when I’m on the Can’t Tell Me Nothing, and Coldest Winter moment, like that mountain goes really, really high.
For the full interview, click here
Nobody, and I mean nobody, loves Kanye West more than Kanye West. I can honestly say I’ve never heard someone ramble like Kanye. He’s the only person who can talk about finances, elephants and slaves in the same sentence. He’s great like Michelangelo AND Walt Disney. Interesting combination. The icing on the cake was obviously Kanye comparing his concert performances to being a police officer or a soldier in war. I wish I could say I was surprised by this, but every time you doubt Kanye, he proves just how big of an asshole he really can be. Hey Kanye: Walt Disney is dead. You can’t work with him. Get over it.
– Ryan
One Direction Stole My Deepest and Darkest Secrets During Their Performance on SNL
Talk about the death stare. This kid (I know he is part of One Direction, because Saturday Night Live told me so, but have no clue who he is) was staring straight into my soul and there was nothing I could do about it. I was frozen and helpless on the couch while this kid was raping me with his eyes. My only saving grace was a camera switch to another member of One Direction. I wouldn’t be surprised if he broke the camera after this shot. He was straight beaming down the center of that lens. That camera operator is in a coma. I could bet my life savings on that.
Not cool SNL, not cool.
-Matt
Terrance Knighton Has the Best Nickname on the Planet, Maybe the Universe
Primetime, Beast Mode, Megatron, Hollywood Joe, and Sweetness. All good nicknames given to some of the greats over the years, but those alter egos don’t even hold a candle to Terrence Knighton’s nickname.
While watching Sunday football I heard Phil Simms call the Broncos D-Tacke, after an interception, “Pot Roast”. I nearly fell out of my chair with jealousy. Like could this guy have hit the jackpot any harder? What an awesome nickname, and honestly one that fits Terrence perfectly.
After doing some research (first time ever) I found out that he was dubbed the nickname by teammates in Jacksonville after ordering Pot Roast on an airplane. Power order, Terrence.
If I was Terrence I would have the Broncos start selling #94 jerseys with “Pot Roast” on the back. Hell, I would buy 2!
Home and away.
-MattyV
The Washington Redskins Hit a New Low Yesterday
The Redskins may have got their shit pushed in at home by the Chiefs yesterday, but at least their fans didn’t see it live. This is as depressing a photo as you will ever see.
– Ryan
Saturday Night Live Review – Paul Rudd & One Direction
Paul Rudd is the host and One Direction are the musical guests this week. I’ve been looking forward to this show since Rudd was announced as host, so lets see if he can deliver. With it being 18 days until Christmas, will we see other Anchorman cast members make cameo appearances!? A boy can dream. Let’s get to the highlights..
COLD OPEN – The Sound of Music
I had a feeling this was coming after the monster success of the live broadcast. Kristen Wiig is here! I’m impartial to alumni cast members, but any time Dooneese is inserted into a sketch I’m in. Taran Killam and Kate McKinnon also killed in this sketch. Fred Armisen! Gilly and Lawrence Welk do the honors and we are off to a fantastic start!
Paul Rudd Opening Monologue (Not available due to copyright issues)
Paul and One Direction, who have an interesting array of haircuts. Paul Rudd’s man band is…Will Ferrell, David Koechner and Steve Carell. Jesus Christ. Steve Carell pulls of the beard exquisitely, and 9 Direction singing “afternoon delight” is great. The rest of this episode could be an hour and 20 minutes of a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on and I’d be happy.
Al Sharpton – Politics Nation
Luckily, it is not. Along with Steve Harvey, Al Sharpton is Keenan’s best impression. I could listen to him mispronounce words all day. He still doesn’t understand twitter, and we love him for it.
One Direction – Biggest Fan
Dan Charles is One Direction’s biggest fan. Dan Charles is a grown man. Paul Rudd + Child fans of One Direction = gold. Paul Rudd has the Justin Timberlake gene: he could easily be a cast member any day of the week.
ONE DIRECTION
Eight words: glitter shoes and dress shirt with no tie. That is the sign of a psychopath, Harry Styles. One Direction is staring into my soul, yet I’m OK with it. I want to look away but I can’t. BTW, turtlenecks are making a comeback, and I’m not talking about the animal.
Weekend Update
Jacob. Vanessa Bayer plays a young Jewish boy hauntingly well. Jebidiah Atkinson. If this is the next recurring character then SNL is smarter than I thought. This time he’s reviewing Christmas specials. “Charlie Brown, there’s a pube on your forehead.” Rudolph, Frosty, It’s A Wonderful Life. No Christmas movie/special is safe from the wrath of Jebidiah.
Statue of David
Paul Rudd plays the man the famous statue was based on. And boy does he have a small penis. Always a bonus when Bobby Moynihan sports a fake beard.
Bill Brasky
Little throwback to the old Bill Brasky sketches Will Ferrel and David used to star in. It’s fitting that Ferrel and Koechner are in it as well. This is like an insane game of one upmanship. Taran Killam fits in amazingly well in this sketch, shows how good he really is. Great cap to a great episode.
I was excited for Paul Rudd to host, and he did not disappoint. One Direction did a solid job in what little screen time they had. I’m convinced they’re single handedly starting a turtleneck revolution. I’d have to say this is close to one of the best episodes of the season, with Lady Gaga’s still barely holding that top spot. Next week, I’ll be in NY for John Goodman and Kings of Leon. I anticipate John Goodman and I becoming the best of friends.
– Ryan
Music Monday – Dirty Paws
“Of Monsters and Men” are my new favorite band and I have been jamming out to their album, My Head is an Animal, for the last week. I’m going to wear it out.
-Matt
Is Ahmed Johnson the Craziest Looking Person in History?
For those of you who don’t know, Ahmed Johnson was a professional wrestler for the WWE in the mid to late 90s. Also, Ahmed Johnson might be the most insane looking person in history. I know wrestling is fake, but I have a list of people I’d never want to get in a fight with and Ahmed Johnson is at the top of that list. He’s one of the few people I’ve seen that just seem naturally angry. He either plays his character remarkably well or he oozes hate. I’m going with the latter. Classic example of a man who I’d want on my side 7 days a week but is a total game changer when he’s against you. There’s crazy, and then there’s the pearl river plunging Ahmed Johnson.
– Ryan
Conan Auditioning For TV Commercials is As Great As You’d Expect
The czar of late night is at it again. This time, he tries his hand at TV commercials. And it’s awesome.
– The Average Nobodies
